Chapter One
THE MORNING AIR is damp and warm. Soupy. Disgusting. I swipe a hand across the back of my neck as sweat curls beneath my hairline. The iconic neon lights of the BONANZA sign are muted in the daylight. I shift my weight onto my good ankle and let out a quiet sigh.
There is no choice to be made here. I have to go in. That was the deal I cut with my parents over the phone last month. You need structure, they said, something to keep you centered and grounded.
Grounded.
I will also be grounded until next yearās high school graduation if they see fit, the only exception being my new job. I would call that an extreme measure, but for what I put them through last summerā¦
Well, I canāt blame my parents.
I can blame a lot of peopleāKensingtonās star defensive player, Lily Thompson; my exābest friend, Brie Bradley; and certainly myself. But my parents? They are not to blame.
A car beeps next to mine. I watch as a middle-aged man walks toward the Bonanza entrance, grocery bag in hand. Maybe his lunch for later. Itās time for me to go in as well. I arrived home yesterday evening and still havenāt unpacked my things, but we were all eager for me to get a job, so I scheduled my interview for this morning. The interview is just a formality, supposedly. Joey, my younger brother by one year, got a job here last fall when he turned sixteen. He promised Iām a shoo-in to be hired.
And yet, my muscles tense with nerves. I have no work experience, a mediocre academic record, and zero recommendations other than the one from my kid brother. Joey is a charismatic goofball with a heart of pure gold. Iām sure the boss loves him because everyone loves him. Unfortunately, my brother and I could not be more different.
Will the manager realize it from the start? What if he asks how I spent my last year? Thank god I donāt have any sort of record, but itās still like Iām marked, officially slotted into the problem-child category. And I feel like people can read it all over my face.
I shift my weight again, wincing as it settles onto my left ankle. I wasnāt like this before. I was never unsure. Unsteady. I used to have confidence, used to know and not think. But everything is different now. Iām different now.
The BONANZA sign blinks at me, and I walk inside.
āNo former work experience?ā the manager asks.
His name is Pete. He looks exactly like a Pete, middling height, middling weight, pale white skin and eyes that seem a shade too dull, like someone turned down the saturation. I have a feeling if I saw Pete on the street tomorrow, I wouldnāt recognize him.
I concentrate on these details instead of the spiral of thoughts that stems from his question. āUm, no.ā I sit up straighter. āNo, sir. No former work experience. Well, I did a little babysitting, if that countsā¦.ā
I didnāt really babysit so much as hang out with Brie while she watched her little sisters, twin girls, miracle babies. Her parents had trouble conceiving for years, and then got a two-for-one special when Brie was nine.
Brie.
I cross my arms and dig a nail into my skin. I havenāt spoken to my best friend since I was shipped off to Mountain Bliss Academy. Exābest friend. Spending an evening watching Monsters, Inc. and baking snickerdoodles with her little sisters feels like a lifetime ago.
āBabysitting is applicable here,ā Pete replies with a nod. āYouāll be with children all the time. Are you good with kids?ā
Iāve never been good at anything other than soccer, and with soccer no longer an option in my life, I guess that leaves me with being good at nothing at all.
āUm, yes,ā I say.
Kid-wrangling is a requirement at Bonanza, a megaplex entertainment center serving our Atlanta suburb since the eighties. Thereās a bowling alley, mini golf, go-karts, an arcade, and more, so birthday parties and Little League celebrations are regular occurrences. My traveling team went here in fifth grade after we won the regional championship. I stuffed my face with chocolate cake, guzzled soda, and ran around all afternoon, eventually throwing up somewhere around the windmill hole of the mini-golf course.
Thankfully Pete doesnāt notice my lackluster lie, as heās busy fumbling with the wrapper of his protein bar.
āGreat!ā he replies, finally ripping open the wrapper. He smiles at me. āLove the peanut butter flavor.ā
I give a weak smile in return. āGreat.ā
āWell, your brother is one of our favorite employees, and Iām sure you will be as well. I can only offer a seasonal job for now, but if you want it, youāre hired.ā
āReally?ā My stomach flips, and I realize how scared I was of failing a task this simple. āYes, definitely. Thanks. Thank you.ā
āLetās get your paperwork filled out, and then weāll get you on the floor for training.ā
āTraining⦠today?ā
As in today, today?
I donāt have other plans, per seābeing grounded and alienating all your friends clears a calendar with impressive totality. But we werenāt allowed access to our laptops at Mountain Bliss, so Iām about three hundred episodes behind on all my favorite reality TV. I was planning to numb my brain for the rest of the afternoon with straight-to-camera confessionals.
āYep!ā Pete hands me a clipboard of paperwork. āWelcome to Bonanza, Hannah Klein!ā
The paperwork is easy to fill out. I have to call Dad to ask for my Social Security number, and after he lightly nags me for not having it memorized, he congratulates me on getting the job. I can hear the eagerness in his voice, the hope that this will fix things. That this will fix me.
I donāt share in his hope, but I donāt have the heart to burst his bubble, either. And if getting a job is what it takes for them to let me spend my senior year at home instead of back at boarding school, then thatās what Iāll do.
That was the deal, at least part of it. My parents agreed that I could come back home for summer and then return to my regular public school in the fall if, and only if, I got a job.
Mountain Bliss isnāt the worst place in the world. Itās like the Diet Coke of boarding schools for troubled teens. My cohortsā crimes ranged from cutting class to shoplifting jewelry from Forever 21. Our daily activities ranged from yoga to sustainable farming. And the entire place is tucked against the beautiful backdrop of the North Georgia Mountains. We even peer-interview past students before enrolling to ensure itās a safe space.
But I missed home. I missed my bed and my things. And most of all, I felt a heavy weight of guilt thinking about how much my parents were spending to keep me in line. My bad behavior draining their savings.
I love my parents, and I donāt want them to worry. So I can fake it for a year, pretend things are fine, be a good little worker, act as if Iām like, totally okay. And then I guess Iāll go off to college or something and be away from their nervous eyes.
I finish filling out the paperwork and hand everything over to Pete. He hands me a Bonanza T-shirt in return. In the bathroom, I send Joey a quick text. We share a car now that heās sixteen and Iām home from boarding school.
Got the job. Apparently my first shift is todayācan you get a ride here?
Joey: Mazel tov sis! No problem, Ethan can drive us
Ethan is Joeyās best friend and basically my second kid brother. Theyāve been inseparable since they met in their preschool synagogue class. Ethan regularly sleeps at our place more often than his own home. One summer, when I was on a traveling team, Iām pretty sure he slept at our house more nights than I did.
I text back great and then slide my phone into my pocket.
āEverything looks good here!ā Pete says when I return to his office. āLetās get you started!ā
He leads me out into the hallway. The dark carpets are grimy, plastered in decades of dirty shoes and spilled concessions that no steam cleaner can erase. The offices are in a hallway off the arcade, but Pete says he wants to start me on mini golf. āItās slow during the day,ā he explains. āToo hot for most of the customers. So itāll give you a chance to learn the ropes.ā
We pass the entrance of the arcade. From here, I can feel the cool blast of air-conditioning, see lasers and blinking lights, hear the electronic beeps and whirs. For a moment, the sounds yank me to the hospital, to images of my bubbie weak in bed, to images of myself broken and battered.
I rub my arms, shivering as I walk past a vent.
Itās barely noon, so there are only a handful of people playing games, and another few in line at the EZ Eats concession stand for slices of underbaked pizza and dry hamburgers. Culinary fine arts, not exactly a strong suit of the Bonanza brand.
Sunlight hits us as Pete pushes open a pair of heavy double doors. I blink, eyes taking a moment to adjust. Then I follow Pete down the sidewalk path toward the mini-golf course.
When weāre halfway there, his phone beeps. He looks down at the screen and gives a tiny āHmph.ā Then he turns to me. āHannah, I apologize, but thereās a kerfuffle at the bowling alley about the senior discount. I need to go handle it. Head straight to the check-in counter and let the employee on staff know youāre new. Sound good?ā
āYeah.ā I clear my throat and force a pleasant smile. āI mean, yes. Sounds good. Thank you, again.ā
Pete gives a little wave before doing a half jog back toward the main building. Iām curious about the senior community drama, but I follow Peteās instructions and finish walking down the path to the check-in counter.
Thereās a family in line, a dad and his two kids. Iām not sure if I should stand to the side or cut the line or what. Awkwardly, I step behind the dad like Iām getting in line to play mini golf as well. I rub my hands up and down my jeans as I wait. The fabric is too warm for the hot sun, but Mom said it wasnāt appropriate to interview in shorts.
Eventually, the dad and his kids finish paying. They walk away to pick out their clubs, and I step up to the counter to introduce myself, andā
āOh, shit.ā
The night air is sweet and crisp. My skin tingles as I tighten the laces of my cleats. My left ankle, weakened by years of injuries, feels more secure with each sharp tug. I lock my car, then walk down the hill and toward the field, my cleats crunching down fresh-cut grass. Half the team is already here, gathered and chatting. Buoyant laughter echoes through the air. Elizabeth sets eyes on me first. She waves, jumping up and down a couple of times as she does so.
Brie notices me next, smiling at me as she adjusts her neon-green shorts. Brie is Black, and her dark brown skin glows under the floodlights. I tackle her with a one-armed hug. My strength might throw a lesser being off-balance, but Brie Bradley has the steadiness of a gymnast.
āHey, best friend,ā I tell her.
She grins and wraps an arm around me as well. She smells like peaches today. Her collection of Bath & Body Works sprays could last her through an apocalypse. āHey, best friend,ā she replies.
Weāre at our happiest in summer, when the days stretch long and the nights even longer. No papers and teachers and group projects. Just cleats and water bottles and suntan lotion.
Weāre addicts. Soccer is our lifeblood, and weād be lost without it.
āHey, Hannah girl,ā Nina says, giving me a cool nod. She pulls on an eighties-style sweatband. Her light brown skin is freckled from days in the sun. Even though weāre the same age, Nina PĆ©rez has always given off cool-older-sister vibes. She doesnāt let the little stuff bother her, which makes her the perfect goalie and captain: clearheaded and confident.
āHey, Nina,ā I reply with a smile. āReady to play?ā
āSoon. Stretches first.ā
Excitement pulses through me as we stretch, like it always does when a game is close. Thereās nothing betterāthe lights, the competition, the adrenaline. A perfect pass to a teammate, nailing one smack-dab to the corner of the net, a game-changing goal, the crowd erupting around me inā
āSheās doing it again,ā Nina says.
āOh yeah, definitely,ā Brie agrees.
Theyāre both looking at me with amused smiles. āDoing what?ā I ask.
āImagining your Olympic fame and glory,ā Nina answers.
I roll my eyes but smile. Theyāre not wrong. Iāve mad...