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The last inhale.
A seventeen-year-old Black boy in a hoodie appears. His body parts isolate, moving in a way that is unfamiliar.
Slimm: What just happened?
He considers his own body. He tries to control his limbs.
I’m hot. I’m wet?
He observes the space. He sees eyes watching him.
God!?
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil,
For you are with me.
He remembers to do the sign of the cross.
(to the eyes) I haven’t been to church in a minute. I just thought I’d slip in a little insurance.
Are y’all here for Judgment Day?
Is God on Black people time?
There should be like a step-by-step instruction manual.
A large book appears.
The boy approaches the book.
(reading) “Your Journey to the Ancestors.”
The book glows and inscribes itself.
“A Step-by-Step Instruction Manual.”
“Open me.”
Mmm-mmm.
He walks away from the book.
Grandma appears.
Grandma: Baby, you stand on the shoulders of the ancestors who chose you to represent them in this moment.
She points at the book.
Open it.
Slimm: Grandma? Aren’t you the one who used to force me to go to church? Where’s God? And why do I have to . . .
Grandma: That sperm hit that egg and you were no mistake.
Slimm: Did you just say sperm?
Grandma disappears.
Grandma?
Slimm looks at the book.
God is actually kind of savage.
(to the eyes) Have you read the Old Testament? He turned a bitch into salt just for looking back.
I got another one. God is so savage . . .
You’re supposed to say, “How savage is he?”
God is so savage . . .
He waits for “How savage is he?”
Um, okay, so he hollas at his homeboy and tells him to spend like two entire months building this huge-ass fucking boat. Then he makes him scour da whole earff, gatherin’ all the animals, like, two of each one and shit just to be like, “I’m gonna make it flood,” and it’s like, “Dude, you had the power to make a flood but you didn’t have the power to build your own boat?”
Laughter.
God is so savage . . .
He waits for “How savage is he?”
So it’s like a Tuesday morning, like a couple thousand years ago, right? God calls up his friend Abraham, right? And he’s like (to the tune of Lionel Richie) “Hello . . . is it me you’re lookin’ for?”
Just kidding, just kidding. That was . . . bad. So he’s like, “Hey, Abe. It’s me, Lord. Yeah, nigga. What’s good? Yeah yeah, okay. How’s work? Cool . . . cool. How’s your wife? Okay, cool. How’s your only son? Great. I’ma need you to sacrifice him.”
(hanging up the imaginary phone) Click!
And so Abraham takes his fucking kid, drags this lil nigga up a mountain, puts him down on like a altar or some shit, lifts up this huge-ass rock and just as he’s about to smash his head into a thousand tiny pieces, God be like, “Just kidding . . . Kidding . . . Kidding.”
Abraham’s just like . . .
Slimm does some Abraham improv.
Then God didn’t say nothin’ else.
Savage. Ancestors all the way.
Slimm opens the book.
“Your Journey to the Ancestors: A Step-by-Step Instruction Manual. Step 1: perform a sacred ceremony to sanctify the space.”
Slimm does the Soulja Boy dance. When he’s done, his arm floats in the air. Slimm observes his arm and then slowly shakes it off.
Gravity feels different here.
The book glows. Each sentence in the book appears just before it needs to be read.
“Your Journey to the Ancestors: A Step-by-Step Instruction Manual. Step 2: read the following pa...
