BEFORE YOU START READING
Within this chapter, you will unpack:
- What it truly means to be a confident school leader
- Breaking the barriers of what authenticity looks like
- Continuously creating & reworking your personal vision to inspire you
- Leading with passion and strengths, while limiting stress around you
- How to grow into the leader you hope to be
Schools desperately need authentic leaders: People who are unafraid and unapologetically themselves. Leaders who are confident in who they are and who trust themselves. Leaders who forge different paths that fearlessly represent their morals, values, and originality.
We desperately need more leaders who keep it real. Leaders who are in tune with who they are and what they bring to the table. I believe wholeheartedly that you are more likely to serve those around you if you are in tune with yourself.
My Mom was and is the ideal representation of being true to you. She is unable to fake her authenticity. As a high schooler, I was often shocked by my Mom’s ability to know everyone, everywhere. It did not matter if we went to Target, Taco Bell, or the nearest grocery store, she would strike up a conversation with anyone. Patience has never been my strongest trait. So, waiting for her to finish her conversations with everyone in the community was about all I could take. In true “The Biggest High Schoolers Nightmare” fashion, sometimes my Mom would dance in the aisles or sing when we were shopping.
She would strut along, laugh as she sang, and would say “C’mon, Kara!”
I feared the day I would run into any of my crushes as this was going on.
My Mom was also one of our High School secretaries, so I got to see her every day. She was practically famous at my school! All of my friends and classmates would go out of their way to stop by her office. My Mom would give kiddos snacks who did not have anything to eat and would tell students to make sure they were “keeping it real,” as she gestured peace signs.
It was not until I was older that I realized how silly it was for me to be embarrassed. My Mom was, and still is, being true to herself, and people love her for it.
Each experience I have in life reinforces the idea that we cannot be anyone less than who we are. Despite what society or people may say, we should never feel the need to shelter or suppress ourselves.
It takes courage to be yourself. It has taken me many years to figure out who I am, and I am still figuring it out and making peace with my imperfections.
In a world that is often edited. Be yourself.
▸ Let Authenticity Lead the Way
“Students need leaders who look like them, act like them, and dream like them to see the role model they aspire to be. Teachers and staff need this, too.”
That’s a tall order, correct? Yes, but necessary.
When you become a leader, it is an unspoken understanding that you were chosen for the position because those who interviewed you believed that you could lead their school, district, and community. They would not have hired you otherwise. The interview panel believed in your mission, felt that you were a leader they would want to follow, and somehow felt connected to you.
When you find out that you, yes, were chosen for the leadership position, you probably felt a myriad of feelings: grateful, thrilled beyond belief, valued, and scared to death, all at the same time. This is normal. We, as leaders, want to feel that we will make a difference. We want the schools that we lead to have this belief in us as well.
As leaders, we hope what we have to offer is enough for our students, staff, and our community. Deep down, all leaders both worry about and crave being good enough. Even if a person seems flawless, they have inner conflicts as well. Even on our best days, we can still get in the comparison trap.
When you become a leader of any title, these insecurities can be maximized. The worst culprit is often your inner critic.
Just because you are a school leader now does not mean you are suddenly inhuman and lose your feelings, vulnerabilities, and emotions. You are still who you are, but your feelings and vulnerabilities can become magnified when the spotlight is on you, and you become the face of the school, community, and district.
It is a huge responsibility.
When I found out that I would be the next Principal of my elementary school, I was at a loss for words. I was genuinely speechless. I could not believe that the teachers, superintendents, and interview panel felt that I would be good enough to lead them. I was in utter disbelief that I was the individual chosen. There must have been countless other strong leaders out of the candidate pool, right? Why was I chosen? What did they see in me?
All of these unspoken thoughts flooded into my head like a tidal wave while I was offered the position. I remember that my first words were, “Wow, Thank you! I am speechless and incredibly grateful—and yes, I accept!”
My future superintendents must have read my mind at that moment because they said these words I would never forget: “We hired you because of your positivity, energy, and what you bring to the table. Learn to channel that energy. Be yourself. If you lead in any other way, it will not work.”
Wow. Yet again, I was speechless.
I felt that I was the Karate Kid being served the truth by the wise Mr. Miyagi himself.
These words of truth spoken over me as I embarked upon my lead principalship journey have been some of the best nuggets of wisdom I have ever heard as a leader.
“Confidence is not having all the answers. It is also not having an ego or being full of yourself. Confidence, instead, is knowing that you have what it takes in all circumstances, every day, all the time. Confidence is the belief that you bring to your soul and every space you enter.”
“There is a difference between adapting to others and sacrificing the best of you. Stay focused on your authenticity and the ability to make the mission a reality. Do not sacrifice who you are in the name of leadership.”
Of course, these items above do not just magically get bestowed over you in true Hogwarts fashion. You will not gain a high level of the above characteristics by wishing for it, dreaming about it, or reading this book alone. You will not become confident suddenly when you accept a leadership position. It is not an instant process. Instead, it is an oscillating process of ups and downs, pivots, dips, and growths. You must have the desire to evolve and the humbleness to know that you are human.
You have to be willing to let authenticity lead the way.
CONFIDENT SCHOOL LEADERS
If we are going to lead a school, we need to ensure that we have a high level of:
- Character and values
- Self-assuredness in who we are
- Belief in ourselves
- Faith that we can get the job done
Like a seed, you must water and grow in confidence regularly. As you grow, you will need to foster your ability to adapt. Growing never happens without a cost.
Along the way, as you grow, I urge you to never trade your authenticity for approval. This will be among the most significant challenges you will face as a leader. Grow in the self-knowledge that is buried deep within you, so you can step further into your leadership.
As you lead yourself and others, consistently make transparent decisions that go in line with your values. Do not settle for anything less, ever.
▸ Leaders Lead Themselves First
Would you ask a student to teach his seatmate two-digit addition without first understanding how to problem-solve similar problems himself? Would you ask a teacher to lead professional development for your staff on a subject that they have no interest or experience in? Would you attempt to run a marathon without first mastering running a mile, 5K, 10K, or half marathon?
If I had to guess, I would say that you answered a loud and resounding no to all of the questions above.
If we apply this same thought process to ourselves, I will ask you this: How can you lead a group of people if you are not proficient at leading yourself?
Let me take it a step further. How can you also build a school culture rooted in values, if the staff members you serve do not know what you stand for?
So, let me honestly ask: Do you feel that you are currently stepping forward and leading yourself as a person?
When I ask you this question, I urge you to think beyond the field of education. Just as I believe that you cannot lead others without leading yourself, I also believe that if you lead yourself well on a day-to-day at home, you will again thrive in how you show up for others at work.
As we go deeper, stay in tune with the fact that all people show you their values and belief systems, whether they realize it or not. Your actions will always show the kind of leader you are before your words will. Integrity is seen and heard, not told.
What kind of message are you sending about your leadership?
Leadership is not built through the most significant or monument actions, although that helps. Just like trust, leadership is created by every little interaction you have, day after day.
▸ Creating a Personal Vision
Think about the best or one of the best days you had as a leader. A day when you were genuinely walking into your purpose. A day that you left your school or building feeling confident that you made a meaningful impact. A day that you knew in your heart of hearts that you were influencing change.
- What precisely happened, and how did you truly live your best life that day?
- What did you see, hear, and experience as an individual?
- How did those around you react?
When I think about my best days as a leader, the memories are always tied with how I was doing what I do best. Not the areas I wish I did best in, the areas where I flourish more naturally.
When I walk in my purpose, I know I will have a great and memorable day with students and staff. When I am in tune with who I am, my feelings, and those around me, I know I will make an impact. When I know my own path, I will be more likely to conquer the day.
When I am confident with myself, I know that I can be a ray of light for others who need some vitamin D in their lives.
On the other hand, when I go through the motions and do what others want, I know that I will leave work feeling depleted. I know in those moments I will feel deprived of what I stand for. Those moments of failure as a leader have taught me the on-the-job experience I needed. The hurts stung at the moment but left me wanting to improve.
Every time I mess up, I realize I am human. We cannot do it entirely right at all times, but we can keep the confidence in our journey of self-growth. No one can take that away from you, only yourself.
We will have highs and lows as a leader; this I know for sure. We will have moments where we encounter crises that make our hearts sink. We will make or watch others make mistakes that make us question if leadership is the right place for us. If this has crossed your mind before, do not feel alone.
Yet always keep in mind that we will see the most incredible life-giving moments if we take the time to step back and notice with a kinder eye.
As I write this, I am currently leading in the pandemic that we all know so well, COVID-19. I never thought when I accepted my head principal job in December of 2019 that the world would change dramatically by the time I started my first year as the school leader. Thank goodness I at least had leadership and assistant principal leadership experience under my belt.
In March of 2020 in the United States, within a matter of days, leaders, teachers, technology staff members, central office administration had been tasked with helping students lead, learn, and stay well fed during an international crisis. There is no roadmap or book on how to properly do this.
Although there is not a list of hard and fast things we need to do as leaders during unexpected times, one thing is for sure: We need to be able to count on ourselves, our abilities, and the internal strength that is rooted within us.
Whether it is COVID-19 or any crisis that emerges, let our experiences push us to growth and evolution, rather than fear and scarcity.
Believe. In. Yourself.
Any observer knows that a crisis will show the real skills, confidence, and belief system, whether we asked for it or not.
“Rather than saying, “I cannot believe I am leading during such a time as this!” Ask yourself, “How can I use my leadership abilities to make the greatest influence during this time?””
Wisdom and expertise are important; yet they do not correlate the wisdom with either a job title or number of years. Experience does not necessarily translate to a number of years. Instead, experiences and learning require the motivation to constantly be one of the hardest workers and learners in any setting or in any season of life.
Whether you are a student who is breaking boundaries as a sophomore, a new school leader, or a veteran superintendent, people will not admire you by what you know. They will admire for how you inspire them to grow.
▸ Unexpected Times Can Deliver Excellence
Even through these uncharted times, we see leaders and educators putting th...
