Christ's Own Forever

Episcopal Baptism of Infants and Young Children

Mary Lee Wile

• Publisher: Church Publishing
• Year: 2003
• Print ISBN: 9781931960021
• eBook ISBN: 9781606741740
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Denominations

The Leader's Guide combines practical exercises with inspiring reflections on the experiences of individuals involved with baptism.

Clergy and lay people will find a wealth of ideas, tips, and discussion starters to help parents and godparents make informed and committed choices on behalf of their infant or young child. Christ's Own Forever is a unique resource developed with the varying needs of Episcopal communities of all sizes in mind. Flexible session plans are ideal for both one-on-one conversations with parents or meetings that include several families together.

Includes background on baptism and Christian initiation, as well as guidance on preparation for baptism in the Episcopal Church today. Guidance is provided for preparation and follow-up with parents who are parish members and those who are unchurched.

PART I: PREPARATION

Why Baptize This Child?

GATHER

As people arrive for the preparatory session, greet them warmly, and if it is a group session, ask them to make out name tags— even for the baby. Deciding where to put the name tag (on the baby, on a blanket, on the carrier) can end up being an ice-breaker. A name tag is also a good way to help remember the baby’s name, and godparents are often friends or family members from away, so even a small group will likely contain strangers. Be sure that you, too, wear a name tag.

Once everyone has arrived and is settled, light any candles you have, and open with prayer:

O God, you have taught us through your blessed Son that whoever receives a little child in the name of Christ receives Christ himself: We give you thanks for the blessing you have bestowed upon this family (these families) in giving them a child. Confirm their joy by a lively sense of your presence with them, and give them calm strength and patient wisdom as they seek to bring this child to love all that is true and noble, just and pure, lovable and gracious, excellent and admirable, following the example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

ACTIVITIES

Why Baptize?

Pass out an index card to each participant. In their journals, parents and godparents have already confronted the basic question of “why baptize this child” in two different entries:

You hold this journal in your hands because you have begun the process of preparing for your child’s or godchild’s baptism. You have said “yes” to the promptings of your own heart and/or to the encouragement of friends or relatives. Baptism used to be a societal norm, something that was automatically “done” to a child. In the early years of this new millennium, however, saying yes to baptism is a different, deeper choice.

Spend some time pondering what led you to seek Holy Baptism for your child, or, if you are to be a godparent, what led you to accept that role.

Priest and professor John Westerhoff writes that, “It is God who is the prior actor in Baptism, an action to which we can only respond.” In other words, according to Westerhoff, no matter what other reasons you might name, one reason that you have engaged in this preparatory process is that God invited you and, on behalf of the child, you said yes. With that thought in mind, what stands out as specific moments or significant events in which you sensed God’s presence or God’s action in your life, moving you toward this place in your journey, this choice for your child or godchild?

Since they have already thought and written about what has led them to seek baptism for this child, ask them to copy or paraphrase their answers onto the index cards. Collect and shuffle the cards, then either write their responses on newsprint or a blackboard, or simply read the responses aloud. See if they are able to identify who gave the other answers, and allow them time to talk about their own.

With a single family, this can be done simply through conversation about what they wrote, but if godparents are there, too, you might consider using the cards. Index cards are small and non-threatening and very useful in initiating discussion.

What Does Baptism Mean to You?

If you have time, once you have elicited responses and allowed conversation around those responses, ask the parents and godparents about their own experiences of baptism, using questions Presiding Bishop Frank Griswold suggested in “The Journey of Growing up into Christ:”

How old were you when you were baptized?

What were the circumstances?

How are you, with the Spirit’s help, able to discern ways that Christ has been formed in you since your baptism?

What does baptism mean to you, as a baptized person?

As you close out discussion of why they have chosen to have this child baptized, consider reading aloud the following excerpt from their journal:

In our secular culture, a question that you are likely to encounter from friends or family not connected with the Church is why you are offering your child for adoption by God into the Christian family. Why does it matter that you raise this child to know and love God? Ellen Charry answers by saying that “knowing and loving God is the mechanism of choice for forming excellence of character and promoting genuine happiness.” In other words, knowing and loving God is good for us; it makes us better, stronger people—and it makes people genuinely happy. Prayers from the Baptismal service acknowledge this: “Give [this child] an inquiring and discerning heart, a spirit to know and to love you, and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works.”

By saying yes to baptism for your child or godchild, you offer life and hope and courage and joy. And you promise to help along the way.

By Water and the Holy Spirit: the ‘What’ of Baptism

BACKGROUND

“I will pour my Spirit upon your descendants, and my blessing on your offspring.”

Isaiah 44:3

Our Presiding Bishop Frank Griswold worries that the very beauty and truth of our Baptismal Covenant “has overshadowed the baptism action itself, and what God in Christ had brought about in us through the action of the Holy Spirit through a ritual of washing and anointing.” This section of the journal looks at the very ordinary things that are used in this holy sacrament as a way of looking at the sacrament itself.

ACTIVITIES

Focus on Water

In their journals, parents and godparents have read the prayer of Thanksgiving over Water from the service, and they have responded to two reflective questions about their own experiences with water, one a general question (concerning washing, swimming, drinking, boating, fishing…), and one recalling a particularly powerful experience encountering a body of water:

The Rev. Dan Warren speaks of the “aha!” we feel when we come to a body of water; paleontologist Jane Goodall once said that even chimpanzees dance with awe at the sight of a waterfall. I remember having lived away from the ocean for 12 years and then arriving at water’s edge: I kicked off my shoes and walked into the surf fully clothed, my children following.

Can you recall “aha!” moments connected with water?

Ask them to share their responses to either water-related question. Consider sharing a memory of your own. Spend some time talking about water’s importance in our own lives, and in the life and health of the earth itself.

Another question connected with water looks at it as a boundary:

Besides being the source of life and providing restoration and renewal for the human spirit, water can also serve as a boundary. The Piscataqua River, for example, separates Maine from New Hampshire at its southern border. The Rio Grande divides countries. And in our own salvation history, crossing the Jordan into the promised land holds powerful associations of achieving freedom and peace. Just so is baptism a crossing over into the promises of Christ, into the household of God.

What are times in your life when you can recognize having made a transition, crossed over a boundary, gained new freedom (and with it, perhaps, new responsibilities)?

For this exercise, pass out index cards to each participant and ask them to summarize or copy their response. Collect the cards and pass them out randomly (consider writing your own card and participating, too). People should then read aloud the card they end up with, followed by a brief response as to whether and how they have shared a similar experience; then encourage the original writer of that card to tell the story that goes with the response. (This shuffling and dealing of cards promotes more of a discussion than would happen with each simply reading his or her own.)

Close out the conversation around water with the reminder that baptism is an “aha” moment, a boundary between old and new lives (yes, even in an infant), and a rebirth. As Marianne Micks writes in Deep Waters: “the font can be seen as a womb from which those born through water enter a new body, the church.”

Focus on the Holy Spirit

The journal goes on then to talk about chrismation or consignation, by which the child is “sealed by the Holy Spirit in baptism…” and marked forever as belonging to Christ. “This child will never be alone, but will forever be companioned by God’s Holy Spirit,” the journal tells them. Parents and godparents then are asked to name some times in their own lives when they have felt isolated and alone, and then note what happened to get them through those times. In retrospect, can they recognize God’s companionship in any of their examples? Begin by sharing an experience of your own, and ask for theirs.

This kind of conversation about God and loneliness and faith and baptism may be unfamiliar to some of your participants. During my 1950’s childhood, talking about religion or politics was considered bad form in polite company, and during the turbulent years of raising my own children, contemporary culture made it easier to talk about sex than about God. Although the United States may have a substantial church-going population, it is in many ways spiritually tongue-tied. Hence it is particularly important to help these families recognize that God has already been a part of their lives, even though they may never have said so out loud before. This kind of discussion also lets the parents and their chosen godparents listen in on one another’s faith journey.

Memories of the Church

Yet another question leads parents and godparents to reflect on their individual experiences with the Church, the Body of Christ, the extended family into which they are bringing this child through baptism. Because not all will necessarily have strong memories of life in the Church, and others may have negative ones, it is necessary to allow them to share these reflections in this safe space. As the journal acknowledges, “Just as our own families can be full of both love and tension, so can the Christian family; Paul’s letters let us listen in on disagreements going on nearly ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• Foreword
• How to Use This Book
• Introduction
• Part I: Preparation
• Part II: Beyond Baptism
• Baptismal Day and Beyond
• Bibliography