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Session 1
Love Responds
Examining the Challenge Before Us
Challenges require a response, and the church is facing a true challenge: young people in America and Europe are leaving the Christian church at an unprecedented rate.
I (J. Warner) first noticed the problem when I was a youth pastor. I took over leadership from my energetic, young predecessor, who had grown the group into a robust, engaged collection of junior high and high school students. Many had been raised together in the church, and they invited their friends to join the group. As a result, our students had deep relationships that bound them together.
In my first year as their pastor, I leaned heavily on my training as an artist (I have a BA in design and an MA in architecture). Our meetings were interactive, artistic, and experiential, incorporating music, imagery, and other sensory elements. The students seemed to enjoy the approach, and over time the group grew even larger.
But our results were terrible.
Not long after graduating the first seniors, we found that most of them walked away from Christianity in the initial weeks of their freshman year at college. Many of our current students were still in touch with these new nonbelievers, and when I heard that they now rejected the existence of God, I was crushed, and I accepted the blame.
In the year since becoming their pastor, I had come to love these students. I felt a paternal responsibility to them. Like the apostle John, I wanted “no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth” (3 John 1:4 NASB). When I heard that most of my graduating seniors had strayed from the family, I reconciled myself to the fact that I hadn’t adequately prepared them for life after youth group. I thought, I must be the worst youth pastor ever. Then I started to study the issue more deeply and found that I wasn’t alone.
If you’re a youth pastor, Christian educator, or parent, I bet you’ve got a story of your own about a young ex-believer you love who was raised in the church. We’ve all got a student, son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, niece, or nephew who has walked away from the truth. This isn’t just an anecdotal problem. It’s a national crisis. And it’s also personal. Everywhere we travel, we hear heartbreaking stories from caring adults who know young people who have abandoned their faith. It can be especially hard when these are our own kids.
Let’s explore what we can do to keep our kids in the faith.
Think about the Next Generation
1. Do you have a friend or loved one who abandoned their faith? If so, what do you believe were the main contributing factor(s)?
2. Why do you think that so many teens and young adults disengage from the church?
3. What do you think the church is doing—or isn’t doing—that contributes to this?
4. Reflect on your teenage years.
What was your experience with Christianity?
Was your view of those of older generations mainly positive or negative, and why?
If you were a Christian in your teenage years, did you have a spiritual mentor in your life, or did you wish that you did? If so, what role did he or she play in your faith journey?
Watch the Video and Take Notes
1. We ________________ for what we love.
2. What are the two mistakes people make in response to Gen Z’s disconnect with Christianity?
3. The main barriers to belief fall into what two categories?
4. What is the number one statistical factor for why a child would embrace the faith of his or her family?
5. What is the connection between truth and relationship?
6. What is the current “age of skepticism,” and how are children introduced to skepticism?
Respond in Your Own Words
1. Young people have always drifted from the church. But we’ve learned that Gen Z is leaving in greater numbers than any generation before. Why do you think this is the case?
2. We’ve also learned that Gen Z is disconnecting from the church at an earlier age than previous generations.
Does this fact surprise you?
What do you believe are the contributing factors for this?
3. What are the biggest questions or doubts that you have about your Christian faith? Are they different from the kinds of questions you had as a young person?
What are you doing to address them?
4. What do you think are the most pressing faith questions that our kids have?
What do you think are the sources for their questions and doubts?
Where are they going for answers? Where did you go with your questions?
The Reasons Are Revealing
Researchers have been asking young ex-Christians why they have left the church, and their answers are enlightening. Here are some popular student responses from different studies:
“Too many questions that can’t be answered.” 1
“I learned about evolution when I went away to college.”
“There is a lack of any sort of scientific or specific evidence of a creator.”
“I just realized somewhere along the line that I didn’t really believe it.”
“Because I grew up and realized it was a story like Santa or the Easter Bunny.”
“I have a hard time believing that a good God would allow so much evil or suffering in the world.”
“There are too many injustices in the history of Christianity.”
“I had a bad experience at church with a Christian.” 2
Most of these responses involve some form of...
