Healing for Damaged Emotions Workbook

David A. Seamands

• Publisher: David C Cook
• Year: 2015
• ISBN:
  9781434709042
• Topic: Desarrollo personal
• Subtopic: Religión

Every experience we have forms a ring of memory in us. Each ring affects our feelings, our relationships, and our understanding of God. But those memories don't have to control us. In this workbook edition of the beloved classic Healing for Damaged Emotions, David Seamands helps you move beyond the perfectionism, poor self-esteem, and shame that comes from unresolved pain. Here you'll find: • The entire text of Healing for Damaged Emotions
• Suggestions for Scripture reflection
• Prayer exercises and journaling prompts
• Discussion questions and a guide to group study Through Seamands's encouraging and practical words, you'll discover that your past doesn't have to hurt your present.

PART ONE

Chapter 1

DAMAGED EMOTIONS

One Sunday evening in 1966, I preached a sermon called “The Holy Spirit and the Healing of Our Damaged Emotions.” It was my first venture into this area, and I was convinced that God had given me that message or I would never have had the courage to preach it. What I said that evening about the healing of memories and damaged emotions is now old hat. You will find it in a lot of books. But it wasn’t old then.

When I got up to preach, I looked down at the congregation and saw dear old Dr. Smith. Now Dr. Smith had been a very real part of my boyhood. When my wife, Helen, and I first heard that we were appointed to our present pastoral roles, a few elderly faces appeared in our minds to trouble us. Dr. Smith was one of them, for I wondered how I could ever minister to him. He had nearly scared the life out of me with his preaching when I was young, and I was still uneasy in his presence.

When I saw him in the congregation that evening, my heart sank. But I went ahead and preached the message that I felt God had given me. After the service, which was followed by a very wonderful time for many at the prayer altar, Dr. Smith remained seated in the congregation. I was busy praying with people at the altar, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I was also praying that Dr. Smith would leave. He didn’t. Finally, he came up to the altar, and in his own inimitably gruff way, he said, “David, may I see you in your office?”

All those images from the past arose, and the frightened little boy inside of me followed the old man. As I sat down in my office, I felt somewhat like Moses must have before the fire and smoke of Sinai. But I was wrong about him—I hadn’t allowed for change. I had frozen him at one stage and hadn’t let him grow.

Very kindly, Dr. Smith said to me, “David, I’ve never heard a sermon quite like that before, but I wanted to tell you something.” His eyes got moist. He had been an outstanding evangelist and preacher for many years, and had won thousands to Christ. He was a truly great man; but as he looked back over his own ministry, he said, “You know, there was always a group of people I could never help. They were sincere people. I believe many of them were Spirit-filled Christians. But they had problems. They brought these things to me, and I tried to help. But no amount of advice, no amount of Scripture or prayer on their part ever seemed to bring them lasting deliverance.”

Then he said, “I always felt guilty in my ministry, David. But I think you are onto something. Work on it; develop it. Please keep preaching it, for I believe what you have found is the answer.”

When he rose to leave, my eyes were wet as I said, “Thank you, Doctor.” But most of all, I was inwardly saying, “Thank You, God, for Your affirmation through this dear man.”

PERSONAL REFLECTION

• • Do you identify with the person Dr. Smith described to Dr. Seamands in his office that day? In what way(s) have you, as a sincere, Spirit-filled Christian, struggled with problems that just don’t seem to go away—despite godly advice you’ve received, scriptures you’ve read, or petitions you’ve made to God in prayer? Briefly describe your struggle.
• • In what areas of your life do you struggle the most? List those areas specifically. Examples: I repeatedly find myself in relationships where people use me. I have a critical spirit toward other people. I am unable to control my sexual impulses. What feelings do you have as a result of struggling in these areas of your life?

Over the years, letters and testimonies from across the world have confirmed that there is a realm of problems that requires a special kind of prayer and a deeper level of healing by the Spirit. Somewhere between our sins, on the one hand, and our sickness, on the other, lies an area Scripture calls “infirmities.”

We can explain this by an illustration from nature. If you visit the western United States, you will see the beautiful giant sequoia and redwood trees. In most of the parks, the naturalists can show you a cross section of a great tree they have cut, and they will point out that the rings of the tree reveal the developmental history, year by year. Here’s a ring that represents a year when there was a terrible drought. Here are a couple of rings from years when there was too much rain. Here’s where the tree was struck by lightning. Here are some normal years of growth. This ring shows a forest fire that almost destroyed the tree. Here’s another of savage blight and disease. All of this lies embedded in the heart of the tree, representing the autobiography of its growth.

That’s the way it is with us. Just a few thin layers beneath the protective bark—the concealing, protective mask—are the recorded rings of our lives.

There are scars of ancient, painful hurts … as when a little boy rushed downstairs one Christmas dawn and discovered in his Christmas stocking a dirty old rock, put there to punish him for some trivial boyhood naughtiness. This scar has eaten away at him, causing all kinds of interpersonal difficulties.

Here is the discoloration of a tragic stain that muddied all of life … as years ago behind the barn or in the haystack or out in the woods, a big brother took a little sister and introduced her to the mysteries—no, the miseries—of sex.

And here we see the pressure of a painful, repressed memory … of running after an alcoholic father who was about to kill the mother, and then of rushing for the butcher knife. Such scars have been buried in pain for so long that they are causing hurt and rage that are inexplicable. And these scars are not touched by conversion and sanctifying grace or by the ordinary benefits of prayer.

In the rings of our thoughts and emotions, the record is there; the memories are recorded, and all are alive. And they directly and deeply affect our concepts, our feelings, and our relationships. They affect the way we look at life and God, at others and ourselves.

PERSONAL REFLECTION

• • For many of us, uncovering the recorded memories of our past is very painful. And we will do almost anything to avoid pain. We’ll dull it, ignore it, excuse it, bury it, eat it … we just don’t want to have to feel it. But the truth is, healing begins at the point of pain. In what ways have you been avoiding the pain of your past? What do you most fear about having to get in touch with that pain?
• • Spend a minute or two reflecting on the character of God. What part of His character brings the greatest sense of comfort and security to you?

Hold on to that part of who God is as you complete the following journaling exercise.

INSTRUCTIONS: Going back as far as you can remember, record in the rings on the next page any past experiences that cause you to feel a sense of hurt or sadness. Starting with the outer rings first, write a short statement describing your most recent painful experiences. Move to the smaller, inner rings, noting there any painful childhood experiences that come to mind (things that were said and done to you). Try to recall how old you were when each experience happened, making a note of it next to the statement describing the experience. NOTE: At some point, it may be necessary to journal in more detail these experiences. Additional Personal Journal sheets have been provided in the back of this workbook for this purpose.

We preachers have often given people the mistaken idea that the new birth and being “filled with the Spirit” are going to automatically take care of these emotional hang-ups. But this just isn’t true. A great crisis experience of Jesus Christ, as important and eternally valuable as this is, is not a shortcut to emotional health. It is not a quickie cure for personality problems.

It is necessary that we understand this, first of all, so that we can compassionately live with ourselves and allow the Holy Spirit to work with special healing in our own hurts and confusion. We also need to understand this in order to not judge other people too harshly, but to have patience with their confusing and contradictory behavior. In so doing, we will be kept from unfairly criticizing and judging fellow Christians. They’re not fakes, phonies, or hypocrites. They are people, like you and me, with hurts and scars and wrong programming that interferes with their present behavior.

Understanding that salvation does not give instant emotional health offers us an important insight into the doctrine of sanctification. It is impossible to know how Christian a person is, merely on the basis of his outward behavior.

Isn’t it true that “by their fruits ye shall know them” (Matt. 7:20)? Yes, but it is also true that by their roots you shall understand and not judge them. Over here is John, who may appear to be more spiritual and responsible as a Christian than Bill. But actually, considering John’s roots and the good kind of soil he had to grow in and out of, Bill may be a saint by comparison. He may have made much more progress than John in really being conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. How wrong, how unchristian to superficially judge people!

Some may object: “What are you doing? Lowering standards? Are you denying the power of the Holy Spirit to heal our hang-ups? Are you trying to give us a cop-out for responsibility so that we can blame life or heredity or parents or teachers or sweethearts or mates for our defeats and failures? In the words of Paul: ‘Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?’” (Rom. 6:1)...