Relationship-Based Pedagogy in Primary Schools

Learning with Love

Nicki Henderson, Hilary Smith

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN: 9780367637484
• eBook ISBN: 9781000521320
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education General

This insightful book shows how prioritising loving relationships in the primary school between practitioners and children helps secure children's emotional well-being, improves behaviour and leads to more successful learning. It identifies the fundamental values that underpin effective learning encounters and provides the practical tools and language to realise deep connections with children.

Combining theory with personal experience the authors present relationship-based practice as a robust and credible pedagogic approach to teaching and learning. The book offers unique features such as 'Shared language' to support and promote a rich, meaningful dialogue and 'The lens of the authors' offers practical and realistic contexts to help teachers apply theory and ideas from personal experience.

Giving educators the confidence to teach with the relational qualities of love, trust, respect, and empathy, this is essential reading for all teachers wanting to develop authentic relationships with the children they care for.

1 At the ‘heart’ of the approach

DOI: 10.4324/9781003120537-1

Teachers have three loves: love of learning, love of learners, and the love of bringing the first two loves together.

(Scott Hayden, 1882–1915)

This book joins a growing body of literature advocating a model of education that emphasises meaningful relationships through a strong emotional connection where reciprocal and authentic relationships with children, characterised by the qualities of love, mutual respect, trust, and empathy, are at the root of effective education. Combining sound theory with authentic experience we present relationship-based practice as a robust and credible pedagogic approach to education, worthy of serious and intellectual consideration. We seek to reconceptualise any condescending connotations associated with the ‘soppy, touchy, feely’ world of relationship-building, which for too long has been dismissed as merely natural or innate for a predominantly female early years workforce, and often left unrecognised and unvalued in the later phases of education altogether.

Central to the relationship-based approach is a theoretical and clear understanding that children’s relationships with those around them are important and, moreover, the way in which children make sense of those relationships is fundamental to how they feel about themselves, their lives and will ultimately drive how well they develop socially, emotionally and cognitively. Put simply, children who are loved do better, in school and in later life.

We urge you at the outset therefore not to be put off by any preconceived ideas about the seemingly sentimental language nor to dismiss this approach as one that is not relevant or appropriate for you; it is! Indeed the evidence suggests that it has to be. The book will help you to understand that the human aspect of your teaching is as important, if not more so, than delivering the curriculum. It will identify the fundamental values that underpin the most effective learning encounters and provide you with the necessary practical tools to secure deep and meaningful connections with the children and young people in your care. It will demonstrate the impact of a relationship-based approach in transforming a school’s culture and its outcomes.

Above all we hope it will give you the confidence to put loving relationships at the heart of your teaching.

The lens of the authors: our values

Life imbues us with values (the things we feel most committed to or passionate about), absorbed wittingly, or sometimes unwittingly, from a melting pot of opinion from a long list of influencers including, family, friends, colleagues, teachers, politicians, the media, and so on. These values help inform who we are, how we interact with others, and ultimately the lens through which we see and judge the world (Hawkes, 2013).

As authors we recognise that the opinions we hold and the experiences we have had will inevitably affect what we choose to discuss and the way the issues are presented. From the outset we believe it is important, therefore, to openly acknowledge our ‘positionality’ (Thomas, 2017: 152) and to share with you the pivotal experiences and moments in our lives that have shaped our biases or preference for one side of an argument over another. In this way we hope to set into context our understanding of relationship-based practice as well as our ‘credibility’ and ‘competence’ (ibid.) in promoting the relationship-based approach more widely. Furthermore, in a book that promotes learning in the emotional spaces between people we believe that the more you understand about our backgrounds and experience the more likely you are to be interested in us, and therefore in what we have to say. Our purpose is to inspire you to adopt positive human qualities: to listen, develop empathy and be open to transforming your own practice building on the evidence offered here. If the messages contained in this book are going to resonate with you we need to establish a shared understanding, your respect and trust in the practices we are describing, and a sense of community connection.

The following section highlights how our own experiences have helped to shape and develop our commitment to a relationship-based pedagogy.

Nicki Henderson – ‘leading with love’

Each and every classroom (about 260 children) always has a little bit of Henderson heart to guide them through their big future, waiting a few years ahead of them.

(Child in the school)

My teaching career began 30 years ago and I have always worked hard to secure harmonious working relationships. My first appointment as a reception teacher in a team-teaching context with nine feeder pre-school providers enabled me to understand that the trust and respect of the whole school community, including the parents, was of paramount importance. I was also determined to promote positive and loving relationships with the children in my care as I had observed the negative effects on children (in their confidence, enjoyment and ability to be independent) not only in my own schooling, but also in what I considered to be overly controlling environments witnessed in many of the school placements during my teacher training. I was challenged by practices that involved restricting the children’s choices and movements and that seemed to me to be more about the control of the teacher rather than any other aspect of responsible pedagogy. Activities that were described and accepted as necessary supervision (e.g. a school policy that demands that the toilets can only be used at playtimes) fell, I believed, into the realms of unacceptable manipulation or restriction. I resolved, therefore, that I would look differently at the classroom power relations and expectations in my own teaching – aiming to practise power ‘with’ and not power ‘over’ the children. Although I did not know it at the time, my values were already beginning to align with the practice of the now renowned early childhood provision in the Italian municipal town of Reggio Emilia. My focus on authentic relationships certainly mirrored the partnerships promoted by Rinaldi (2006) in securing mutual involvement and respect.

My teaching reflected a child-centred constructivist approach to learning characterised by a rights-based discourse, outlined by Nutbrown (1999: xv) and Jones and Welch (2010: 13) who promote practitioners as ‘respectful educators’ and challenge the ways of living and learning that ‘oppress, harm or limit children’. My aim was to provide an ethical service that affirmed the importance of childhood and the enormous capabilities of children. In practice this meant organising a classroom that facilitated independent access to resources, provided learning opportunities centred on the children’s fascinations and where we were all motivated to play, to take risks, make mistakes and build relational resilience. The outcome was a happy classroom where the children told me they felt safe, secure and loved. When a supply teacher told me she hated taking my class because the children kept telling her what they should be doing next, what she should be saying and how she was making them feel, I knew that the learning culture was one that the children and I should be proud of!

I maintained a firm belief in these same underpinning principles for teaching, learning and living as I moved to my subsequent role as a consultant in early years for the local authority, delivering training and support to schools and settings often in challenging circumstances. Moving practice and thinking forward demands great diplomacy and sensitivity, and whilst it was my role to ensure the quality of provision improved significantly, this had to be accomplished with the well-being of the staff intact. Central to the success of this role was undoubtedly the need to communicate effectively and the ability to quickly establish a warm rapport and emotional connection. I relied instinctively on humour (a strategy honed as a child) to help people relax, making it easier to engage in difficult and open conversations.

Moving from the local authority to my new roles at Bath Spa University, first as Senior Lecturer in Early Years and then as Programme Leader for the Postgraduate Certificate in Education (PGCE), offered a privileged opportunity to gain a theoretical base to the innovative philosophy and practice that I had been sharing with others. For example, the importance of establishing a motivating and welcoming environment for learning (Hattie, 2012; Malaguzzi, 1998); authentic communication with parents (Jelley and Sylva, 2017); effective processes for transition (Fabian, 2002; Howe and Richards, 2011); and the importance of shared and sustained thinking in the learning process (Sylva et al., 2004).

It was here too that my eyes were opened to a world of political and social debate, where I found like-minded people (including Hilary Smith) who were comfortable to encourage a positive discourse about feminism, social justice and diversity. These conversations enhanced my awareness and consciousness and helped me to see the world through an adjusted lens, perhaps distorted by a family experience that, although loving and supportive, was based on traditional patriarchal and imperialistic values. Now a passionate advocate for equity and equality, I enjoy engaging in regular challenging conversations with my family!

Working with a creative and dynamic team we set about restructuring the PGCE so that discussion on the rights and image of children were foregrounded with the practices of Reggio Emilia. Our aim was to encourage teacher trainees to embrace an approach where respectful attitudes and reciprocal relationships with children and their families are valued (Rinaldi, op. cit.). This direction was warranted. It was clear that many of the trainees and indeed many of the school mentors lacked confidence when it came to dealing with relationship issues in their classrooms. They were either concerned not to appear ‘too nice’ for fear of ‘losing control of the children’s behaviour’ (echoing a traditional view of teacher training where trainees are warned about the dangers of smiling at the children before Christmas!), or in some cases were worried about developing healthy positive relationships in case they be wrongly misconstrued as crossing safeguarding policies.

I am proud of the many outstanding teachers who emerged from the PGCE, characterised by their commitment to playful learning, creative thinking, risk-taking and innovation. Many too are showing in their practice that it is who they are teaching that is as important as what they are teaching.

My own subsequent research (Henderson, 2019) and reflection has led me to question, however, why we did not do more to focus on the particular human characteristics or qualities that facilitate and support the relational bond between teachers and children. Loe (2015) found that the subject is largely missing from all professional dialogue and teacher training. He rightly asks why it is an issue left to the personal styles and preferences of teachers, given how crucial it is in determining children’s positive experiences and outcomes. We hope this book will open up and help advance this important discourse.

My most recent experience as headteacher of a nursery and primary school further galvanised, and ultimately gave a name to, my interest in this ‘relational’ aspect of teaching. It was here that I first became aware of the Relational Schools Foundation that was formed in 2014 with the aim of encouraging schools to see the connection between relational practice and children’s outcomes and achievements (see https://relationalschools.org). This concept of teaching that focuses on the importance of the quality of human interactions between a teacher and the young people in their care seemed to bring together all the individual elements of practice that I had valued and promoted throughout my teaching career. Although it might appear to be at odds and a long way from the dominant paradigm of discipline and data-driven accountability that as a head I perhaps ‘should’ have been interested in, I was increasingly inspired by the Foundation’s growing body of evidence that suggested a tangible link between ‘a school that provides a secure base and the achievement of stronger academic outcomes’ (Loe, 201...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication Page
• Contents
• Acknowledgements
• 1 At the ‘heart’ of the approach
• 2 Teachers are humans too
• 3 School: a community to live, love and learn
• 4 The ties that bind: creating strong connections in your classroom
• 5 A relationship-based approach to behaviour
• 6 Repairing relationships
• 7 The changing nature of relationships
• 8 The legacy of love
• Index