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CONTENTS
1. I wake up early, I wait for the light to roll in
2. Paris
3. Holes
4. Dustbunny
5. Foxes
6 Men’s Rooms
7. I love you so much
8. Free Anna Delvey
9. I used to be thin
10. Last night I dreamt I was alive and
11. Sex Scene
12. The one girl gremlin
13. Cyberspace
14. Dolly Parton
15. Baby you know what I want
16. Jane Fonda
17. Crows
18. Pastoral
19. Killbuck
20. Poem in which I am always leaving
21. It’s a bad business
Acknowledgements
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The One Girl Gremlin![]()
I wake up early, I wait for the light to roll in
One minute everything in the world is a poem,
the next everything is a cardboard box
with a number drawn on. I spend my mornings
trying not to imagine all the terrible things
that are happening in the world, somewhere they are
all happening at once. All the rich men with their various wants
their desires lying around like oil stains on the chaise.
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Paris
All I think about is love and money, marrying for money and falling
in love on the side. Staying in love with my past loves, meeting them
in oyster bars, never forgetting anything, never making any money.
I think about Jean Rhys in Paris, waiting for Harrison Ford
to wire her some money, she was always dying her hair, getting fired,
falling short on love and money. Did I say Harrison Ford?
I meant Ford Maddox Ford, he had so much money. When I watched
Parade’s End I thought I could be the little suffragette who loved him,
as if I could stand a passionless existence shut away in a girls school,
earning my little money. He never tells her how he is feeling.
I don’t want that kind of love or money. I want to be stinking drunk
in a restaurant eating bread from a basket, thinking of vintage Prada
and snow. I’ll take the love or the money.
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Holes
The truth feels repetitive like if you were to fall down a hole in the street
and hurt yourself, once, perhaps they’d say that’s terrible, I’m so sorry you fell
down the hole in the street, well done for getting out. But it keeps on happ...
