How to Ask Great Questions

Guide Discussion, Build Relationships, Deepen Faith

Karen Lee-Thorp

• Publisher: NavPress
• Year: 2018
• Print ISBN: 9781641581325
• eBook ISBN: 9781641581066
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Ministry

Great answers start with great questions.
People remember what they discover for themselves far more than what others tell them. A great question can mean the difference between exchanging information and discovering deeper meaning.

In How to Ask Great Questions, you'll learn when and how to ask effective questions and how to promote follow-up discussions that will lead from thoughtful conversations to life application. Ideal for small-group leaders, Sunday school teachers, and anyone who regularly leads group discussions or committee meetings.

How to Ask Great Questions will equip you to

• build relationships between group members
• help people unpack a passage of Scripture or another book
• draw out opinions, feelings, and assumptions
• deepen discussions with intentional focus
• guide people in applying the Bible to their lives
• facilitate problem-solving and decision-making in group settings

Transform a gathering of acquaintances into a community of friends.

WHAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT

The Power of a Good Question

Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, he asked them, “Who do the crowds say I am?”

They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life.”

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Peter answered, “God’s Messiah.”

LUKE 9:18-20

JESUS WAS A BRILLIANT TEACHER. He knew how to tell a story that would propel people into thinking in new categories. He was king of the one-liner. And He understood the power of a well-timed, well-phrased question.

• “Who do the crowds say I am?” (Luke 9:18)
• “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6)
• “What do you think about the Messiah? Whose son is he?” (Matthew 22:42)
• “What do you want me to do for you?” (Luke 18:41)
• “Which of the two did what his father wanted?” (Matthew 21:31)

Jesus’ questions were simple, clear, never condescending, always provocative. They made people think for themselves and examine their hearts. Jesus’ questions were always fresh and attuned to the unique needs of the people He was talking to. Instead of following a rote method, He seems to have thought about how His questions would affect His audience.

Research tells us that people remember far more of what they say than what they hear, and far more of what they discover for themselves than what they are spoon-fed. Hence, a question that sparks discovery and gets people to say out loud what they know is an essential tool in teaching. And in a small group, the question is everything.

This book will equip you to ask questions that

• build relationships between people
• help people analyze a passage of the Bible or another book
• draw out opinions and feelings
• follow up on a primary question
• guide people in applying the Bible to their unique lives
• guide a group in solving a problem or reaching a decision

You will find this book useful if you

• lead a small group
• teach Sunday school
• teach in any interactive learning environment
• chair a group or committee that makes decisions

The table of contents is annotated so you can investigate just the topic you are looking for, or you can read cover to cover. Some sections will refer you to other sections for more on a related topic.

KAREN’S TOP TEN PRINCIPLES FOR ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS

First, a few general principles.

1. This is a discussion, not a test.

A test is a situation in which the person asking the questions knows all the right answers, and the responder’s task is to give the right answers. Test questions are fine in high-school algebra class or in the oral exam for a doctoral candidate. Test questions are useful when your goal is to see if people can parrot back information they have memorized, such as in a foreign-language class. However, when either spiritual growth or sharing among peers is a goal of your group, test questions can cause problems.

For one thing, tests tend to put people on the defensive —they worry about giving the wrong answer and appearing foolish, so their pulse rises and adrenaline flows. Adrenaline is good for those running marathons, but it hinders creative thinking. In fact, it actually floods out those portions of the brain in which people do creative thinking.

By contrast, a relaxed but stimulating environment, one in which people feel welcomed and engaged, is the kind most likely to encourage people to consider new ideas, examine their lives, and entertain the possibility of changing their behavior.

Second, tests imply a hierarchy. The teacher has the right answers and so is superior to the students. In a class on prayer, it may be true that the teacher knows more about prayer than the students do. The teacher may impart some of his or her knowledge to the students. But when the teacher asks a question about prayer, it needs to be very clear in everyone’s mind whether the teacher wants the class to think for themselves or repeat something the teacher has said. A test question is okay if everyone understands they are reviewing material they have heard before, but when a test question is disguised as a discussion question, people feel put down. A group designed for spiritual growth requires shared power and an atmosphere of mutual respect. Test questions disguised as discussion questions don’t feel respectful.

As a rule of thumb, discussion questions usually look for information members of the group have but the leader may not have:

• What do you think? (Only you know what you think.)
• What feelings does Jesus’ statement provoke in you?
• With which character do you most identify in this passage?
• What contrasts do you notice in this story?

In all of these cases, the person asking the question is looking for something he or she genuinely doesn’t know. That’s how questions work in normal conversation.

However, when the task at hand involves drawing out the facts of a text, there are some important questions to be asked that have right-or-wrong answers:

• Who are the primary characters in this story?
• How did the jailer respond after the earthquake in Acts 16?

Because fact-finding or observation questions tend to have right answers, and because the person asking the question has usually spent more time examining the text than the responders have, it’s easy for such questions to make a discussion feel like a test. Chapter 3 will address how to ask observation questions in a way that minimizes the test feeling, avoids boring the group, and yet draws out the essential facts.

What does a disguised test question look like? It may ask for mind reading:

What five key features of the sanctified mind does Paul describe in Romans 8?

Since Paul doesn’t list five principles in any obvious way in Romans 8, this question asks responders to read the questioner’s mind. The group leader has identified five principles in the chapter, and the group’s job is to figure out what they are. In chapter 3, we’ll discuss the difference between asking people to observe what the text says and asking them to read your mind.

Alternatively, a test question may ask people for information not currently available to them:

What does Paul mean by the term flesh in Ephesians 2:3?

Flesh is a somewhat technical term in Paul’s vocabulary. Scholars have a lively debate running between at least two points of view. It would be helpful to explain this word in a few clear sentences to your group, but unless you know your group has heard this information before, it’s probably unwise to ask them to supply it. You’re likely to be met with embarrassed silence and have to answer the question yourself. You have then asked a rhetorical question, not fostered a discussion.

Chances are that if you do this often enough, people will begin to assume that all of your questions are rhetorical and will stop trying to answer them.

Even worse, a test question may ask people to defend themselves:

• Q: What do you think Paul means by saying we were dead in our sins?
• A: I think he means . . .
• Q: Why do you say that?

“What do you think” is a perfectly respectable way to ask a question. It asks for information that the responder has and the questioner does not have. However, “Why?” as a follow-up question can make people fear you think their answer was defective. In chapter 6, we’ll explore ways of probing for more information without placing people on the defensive.

2. Avoid leading the witness.

If you’ve watched much TV courtroom drama, you know that attorneys often lead witnesses because it is to the interrogator’s advantage to make the witness say what he wants the jury to hear. You also know that leading the witness usually causes the opposing attorney to object.

A small-group leader or classroom teacher may want the group to get at some information she thinks is important. But being committed to a question-and-answer format, she may ask something like

• Don’t you think that not taking the Lord’s name in vain includes being careful about saying, “God told me”?
• In what ways are you like the Pharisees in this passage?
• Does this passage make you feel angry or glad?

Each of these questions puts words into the responders’ mouths. “Don’t you think” is a manipulative way of telling people what to think. There’s nothing wrong with a leader saying what he thinks, as long as he takes responsibility for those thoughts: “I think that not taking the Lord’s name in vain includes . . .” “Don’t you think” introduces a teaching point or opinion disguised as a question.

The second question assumes that everybody in the group resembles the Pharisees. Perhaps it’s true that we’re all hypocritical or greedy or cowardly to some degree, but most of us prefer to confess our own sins rather than having others do it for us. This question has the feel of “When did you stop beating your wife?”

The third question offers an either/or alternative. It assumes there are only two possible responses to the passage. Anyone who finds the passage unnerving or sad or perhaps partly encouraging and partly threatening is out of luck. Either/or questions usually lead the witness.

3. Ask one question at a time.

How does the lack of forgiveness affect the one who has done harm, the one who has been harmed, and each person’s relationship with God?

If you read that question a couple of times, you could probably take it apart and answer it piece by piece. But if you only heard it, you’d have forgotten the first part by the time you heard the last. It’s best to ask just one...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Chapter 1: What This Book Is About
• Chapter 2: Telling Our Stories
• Chapter 3: Just the Facts
• Chapter 4: A Matter of Interpretation
• Chapter 5: Tell Us How You Really Feel
• Chapter 6: Keeping the Ball in Play
• Chapter 7: So What?
• Chapter 8: Decisions, Decisions
• Epilogue: How Did We Do?
• About the Author