How To Be Happier

Paul Jenner

• Publisher: Teach Yourself
• Year: 2015
• Print ISBN: 9781473612112
• eBook ISBN: 9781473612129
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Mental Health & Wellbeing

"It's an easy read and will help you find the silver lining behind every cloud." - Prima **** NEW EDITION FULLY UPDATED THROUGHOUT WITH FUN FACTS, POSITIVE MESSAGES AND NEW RESEARCH ****Everyone wants to be happy. But it's a lot easier said than done. Most books on happiness are fixated on particular routes to happiness, such as wealth, NLP, positive thinking, or mindfulness. This book takes a more joined-up approach, using each of these techniques, but also including the latest scientific research on what really makes us happy (clue: it's not the things you think).

1

Choosing to be happy

In this chapter you will learn:

• how happiness can be learned

• how focused you are on happiness

• how happiness comes from both internal and external sources

• how happiness is the morally right course.

Do you sincerely want to be happy? That seems like a ridiculous question. Of course you want to be happy! Who doesn’t want to be happy? Well, in a moment we’ll be finding out how happy you actually are, but it’s even more important to know how happy you’re willing to be. The answer may surprise you. Let’s see.

Self-assessment: Do I want to be happy?

1 You ask someone to do something for you and they forget. It wasn’t a life or death situation but their oversight does cause some inconvenience. What do you do?

a Shrug it off – after all, everyone forgets things now and then.

b Get angry.

c Say nothing but seethe inwardly.

2 You’re offered a new job at substantially higher money, but it involves a lot of stress, a 90-minute commute each way, and quite a lot of background work at weekends. What do you do?

a Turn the job down because it will be detrimental to your quality of life.

b Take the job.

3 You’ve paid for work at your house and now you discover it was badly done. The builder refuses to accept that there’s anything wrong. What do you do?

a Forget the incompetent builder and call in another builder to fix it.

b Get a solicitor and take the incompetent builder to court.

4 You’ve just returned to your brand-new car to find it’s been given a small dent. What do you do?

a Nothing – dents are inevitable and, anyway, there’s nothing you can do about it.

b Cry, because the car is ruined.

c Get angry.

5 Your boss gives you a rise and you feel pleased. Then you discover a colleague has been given a bigger rise. Now what do you do?

a Still feel pleased.

b Go back to the boss and complain.

c Feel cheated but say nothing.

6 You’ve just given a speech. Everything went extremely well, except that you made a slip by saying ‘a thousand times bigger’ rather than ‘a hundred times bigger’. How do you feel?

a Happy – it went as well as anyone has a right to expect, with only one slip.

b Depressed – I ruined everything by that stupid mistake.

7 You’ve arranged to meet someone close and they’re now half an hour late. What are you thinking?

a No problem, I’ll have another coffee while I’m waiting.

b Something terrible has happened.

c She/he’s always been inconsiderate.

8 You’ve been for a job interview and are now waiting to hear the result. How are you feeling?

a Positive – I have a good chance and even if I don’t get the job, the interview will have been useful practice.

b Depressed – I probably won’t get this job or any job.

9 When somebody criticizes you, how do you handle it?

a Agree with any criticisms that are valid without getting upset.

b Defend yourself and attack them.

c Say nothing but resolve to get even when you can.

10 A visitor to your house falls down some steps and is hurt. How do you feel?

a Sorry they’re hurt but not responsible.

b Guilty, because it was your steps they fell down.

You’ve probably guessed that a person whose answers are all ‘a’ has the best chance of happiness. But you may feel that ‘a’ is often quite unrealistic. Probably you feel you have a right to be angry in certain situations, that you have a duty to your family to earn as much money as possible, that cowboy builders should be taken to court, that being given a smaller rise than a colleague is an insult, that anyone who criticizes you should be attacked back, and so on.

But, remember, we’re not interested in how much money you make, or getting even with other people, or any of that stuff. We’re interested in happiness. If you didn’t score an ‘a’ most of the time, you’re just not focused on happiness, and that’s the first thing you have to change.

So let’s take a look at some quick happiness boosters. Read through the suggestions below, then try them out.

Try it now: Quick happiness boosters

1 Be grateful. Scribble down ten things you can be grateful for. Look at them and think about them. Remember that no matter how bad the situation seems, there are always these ten reasons (at least) to be grateful.

2 Forgive. Make the decision this minute that you’re going to forgive someone against whom you’ve been harbouring feelings of resentment. Always let go of negative emotions – when you brew poison against someone else, you only en...

Table of contents

• Cover 
• Title
• Contents 
• About the Author
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• 1 Choosing to be happy
• 2 Cultivating positive thoughts
• 3 Cultivating positive emotions
• 4 Eating happiness
• 5 Exercise for happiness
• 6 Neuro-linguistic programming, visualization and self-hypnosis
• 7 Meditating for happiness
• 8 Acceptance and commitment therapy, and mindfulness
• 9 Be who you are, do what you want
• 10 Building happy relationships
• 11 A happy sex life
• 12 Spirituality, gratitude and kindness
• 13 Your seven-day happiness plan
• Bibliography
• Books
• Copyright