Secrets of Confident Communicators

50 Techniques to Be Heard

Diana Mather

• Publisher: Teach Yourself
• Year: 2014
• Print ISBN: 9781473600270
• eBook ISBN: 9781473600294
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Self Improvement

- What do highly successful communicators know that the rest of us don't?
- Do they have a secret recipe for success?
- Is there a special alchemy at work?Whatever your situation or motivation, 'Secrets of Confident Communicators' reveals the 50 things you need to know to express yourself with assurance and get your message across effectively. Some will surprise you, and all will inspire you. Put these 50 simple strategies together and you have a recipe for brilliant communication skills, a proven formula that will unlock the secrets and uncover your potential.

Start on the path to true confidence

‘Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.’

Norman Vincent Peale

‘Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.’

Helen Keller

‘The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.’

Nelson Mandela

‘If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.’

Maya Angelou

‘I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself.’

Oprah Winfrey

To be a confident communicator, you need to have confidence. That goes without saying, but if you haven’t got confidence to begin with, how do you get it? Confidence is something we all strive for because true confidence helps you communicate effortlessly and successfully. It comes from knowing and believing in yourself. That may sound blindingly obvious, but most people do not really know themselves or believe in themselves. Confidence is something we are born with but often lose as time goes by and life throws us its brickbats, so it is often a case of rebuilding what we once had.

Having true confidence means being able to rely on your own decisions and choices, to be able to make valid judgements without constantly having to ask the opinions of others – in other words, to have the confidence to determine your own future. It requires confidence to walk into a room and enjoy the fact that you won’t know a single soul, or to wear what you want to wear and not worry about what others may think. Starting up a business or going for a high-flying job demands true confidence, if you are going to be a success. True confidence also means not being afraid of taking criticism or making mistakes and being bold enough to try something new.

It is true that, if you are dissatisfied with yourself, you will never be satisfied with life. For most jobs today it is vital that you radiate confidence because it denotes competence. It is the same in the social arena: having confidence will make people accept and admire you, and that will improve your private life. The following strategies will help you improve your confidence and help you achieve a new, positive outlook on life.

EVALUATE YOUR SELF-IMAGE KINDLY

Today the image of physical human perfection shines at us from magazine covers, billboards and TV advertisements. Very few of us, however, measure up to these faultless paragons and this can be a major cause of unhappiness and low self-esteem. You have to be honest with yourself when you evaluate your image in the mirror, but you must also be fair to yourself and appreciate your good points. Most people are dissatisfied with at least some aspects of their own appearance, which is why so many people resort to cosmetic intervention, but that doesn’t always create true confidence – sometimes the reverse.

Look at yourself as if you were looking at a dear friend who has asked you for an honest opinion. Be kind to yourself. We all have good points and you have to appreciate yours. You might have beautiful eyes, a noble nose, lustrous hair or a swanlike neck. Whatever your good points, start to appreciate them rather than wishing to be something you are not.

Of course, if you can do something about what you don’t like, do it! Don’t put up with crooked teeth if you can get them straightened and, if you want to be slimmer, go on a diet. A good haircut can do wonders to boost morale, so shop around and find a stylist who will take time to listen to you and help you try something new. Take a look at your wardrobe and decide what really suits you and get rid of anything you are not sure about. If you aren’t comfortable in your clothes, you can never feel truly confident. Keeping fit will also help boost energy levels, which in turn will boost confidence.

RECOGNIZE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS

Do you talk to yourself? If so, how? Some people talk to themselves in a way that they wouldn’t do to their worst enemy. I used to be one of those people. I have no sense of direction and constantly get lost in the car, with or without a satnav, and I used to call myself all sorts of names and tell myself how stupid I was until I realized that I was actually making things worse. I was eroding my confidence in even finding my own front door, so I had to reassess how I was valuing myself. I changed my attitude and started to treat myself with compassion and respect. Instead of criticizing, I started praising myself.

Try this exercise: look at yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself you are looking good and that it is going to be a good day. Before you go to bed, look in the mirror again and praise yourself for what you have achieved. Even if things have gone wrong, instead of letting it depress you and bring you down, discover what you can learn from the experience and tell yourself that you will do better next time. Do this for one month and you should feel more positive and more confident.

Write down any beliefs that hold you back. Where did those beliefs come from? When did you start believing those things and do they have basis in fact? So often, we believe things that are embedded in our minds during childhood. If you are constantly told you are not good at maths because your exam results weren’t top notch, or you can’t skate because you always fall down, you will lose confidence in yourself and never improve. If you want to do something enough, you can do it; tell yourself you can and have confidence in your own abilities!

We determine much of our attitude towards ourselves and the world around us by what we think. Having a positive attitude helps build true confidence, so start talking yourself up and remember, confident people are sexy people!

MAKE A LIST OF YOUR GOALS

What would you do if you had the confidence to do it? Some people dream of travelling down the Amazon, learning to ski, writing a book, designing clothes, climbing a...

Table of contents

• Cover 
• Title
• Dedication
• Contents 
• Introduction
• 1. Start on the path to true confidence
• 2. Blow up the mental block
• 3. Beef up your self-image
• 4. Know what to wear and when to wear it
• 5. Dress for success
• 6. Build your brand
• 7. Find your style
• 8. Perfect your posture
• 9. Mind your manners
• 10. Play the name game
• 11. Take care with the written word
• 12. Understand netiquette
• 13. Maximize the power of phoning and texting
• 14. Use social media with care and attention
• 15. Shed childhood influences
• 16. Read so you can talk with confidence about many things
• 17. Take your mouth to the gym to give your voice the edge
• 18. Put on an act to make a show of confidence
• 19. Use the power of a positive attitude
• 20. Understand body language to uncover a message
• 21. Find out how to be a confident speaker
• 22. Learn how to make a riveting speech
• 23. Know your audience
• 24. Know your venue
• 25. Get to know your event
• 26. Know the value of preparation – as host and guest
• 27. Thrive in the corporate scene
• 28. Get a grip on visual aids to make your ‘show and tell’ a success
• 29. Speak off the cuff with ease and enthusiasm
• 30. Keep your confidence levels up when age catches up with you
• 31. Offer telling tributes in your important speeches
• 32. Sharpen your ability to look, listen and learn
• 33. Hone your workplace communication
• 34. Make your meetings productive
• 35. Take and make effective conference calls
• 36. Understand why the customer is always right
• 37. Make effective complaints with confidence
• 38. Find out what it takes to kick-start your career
• 39. Learn how people on TV get their message across
• 40. Learn how radio presenters and actors use their voice
• 41. Learn the confidence secrets of the politicians
• 42. Get your message across in print
• 43. Cope confidently with your travelling customers
• 44. Make the right impression at networking events
• 45. Run your family and business life smoothly
• 46. Know how to talk to children to boost their confidence
• 47. Talk to teens so they will talk to you
• 48. Keep fit to gain confidence
• 49. Eat well, sleep well, feel well
• 50. Enjoy being a confident communicator
• Copyright