Secrets of Resilient People

50 Techniques to Be Strong

John Lees

• Publisher: Teach Yourself
• Year: 2014
• Print ISBN:
  9781473600218
• eBook ISBN:
  9781473600232
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Careers

What do resilient people know that the rest of us don't?Do they have a secret recipe for maintaining their equilibrium during tough times?Is there a special alchemy at work?'The Secrets of Resilient People' reveals the 50 things you need to know to survive and thrive in tough times, maintaining a positive and productive outlook whatever the circumstances. Some will surprise you, and all will inspire you. Put these 50 simple strategies together and you will have a recipe for success, a proven formula that will unlock the secrets and uncover your potential.

Check your resilience levels

‘The most resilient people are like children who never grew up. A curious, playful spirit contributes directly to resiliency because playfulness and asking questions let you learn your way out of difficult circumstances.’

Al Siebert

‘Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.’

Francesca Reigler

‘Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.’

Winston Churchill

‘I don’t like people who have never fallen or stumbled. Their virtue is lifeless and it isn’t of much value. Life hasn’t revealed its beauty to them.’

Boris Pasternak

‘One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.’

Abraham Maslow

You can’t change your entire personality. What you can do is to understand yourself better, and adjust how you act.

Becoming more aware of how your brain is hard-wired will explain why some relationships don’t work and why you operate better in some environments. For example, learning you’re someone who needs regular feedback and encouragement means you can exercise more care when choosing contexts, or you can compensate (for example by working with a mentor).

The second step is starting to change behaviours. If your learning style means you work best with explicit instructions, get better at asking for them without sounding incompetent or lacking in resources. Draw on other people’s strengths; enlisting a ‘people person’ to help you pitch a difficult idea to a team meeting covers your blind side (see Chapter 40 on decoding people to cover your gaps in people situations).

This book explores resilience by investigating many ways in which new insights and behaviours can help you adapt, grow, survive with more integrity intact, and sometimes flourish. We begin by checking your current state. In the three tables below give yourself a score using the five-point scale.

If you are unsure what to score, put down your best estimate and a question mark. In the last column tick any factors that are very important to you right now; double tick any that are vitally important.

MONITORING YOUR BASE-LINE PERSONAL RESILIENCE

High = 5, Uncertain = 3, Low = 1

MONITORING YOUR RESILIENCE AT WORK

High = 5, Uncertain = 3, Low = 1

MONITORING RESILIENCE-SHAPING RELATIONSHIPS

High = 5, Uncertain = 3, Low = 1

Putting it all together

These questionnaires provide no overall scores, nor is there any kind of simplistic reference to the ‘average’. Your scores are entirely subjective, and ...

Table of contents

• Cover 
• Title
• Dedication
• Contents 
• Introduction
• 1. Check your resilience levels
• 2. Fail forwards, not backwards
• 3. Look at what’s working, not what isn’t
• 4. Focus on facts
• 5. Reframe your experience
• 6. Get out of victim mode
• 7. Learn from past bounce-backs
• 8. Blame yourself only when you can learn something
• 9. Don’t listen to 2 a.m. voices
• 10. Stop worrying
• 11. Rethink the way you set goals
• 12. Get better at decision-making
• 13. Use problem solving more effectively
• 14. Fix the things you can and accept the things you can’t
• 15. Understand your learning curve
• 16. Learn from others
• 17. Recognize how far other people impact on your resilience
• 18. Believe in yourself just a little more
• 19. Deal with Imposter Syndrome
• 20. Fake it, but just a little
• 21. Talk about how you feel, not just what you think
• 22. Modify your behaviours under pressure
• 23. Engage with conflict where you need to
• 24. Manage difficult relationships better
• 25. Learn to ask for help
• 26. Get honest feedback
• 27. See yourself as others see you and shape your reputation
• 28. Get better at organizational politics
• 29. Learn to say ‘no’ better
• 30. Pause
• 31. Seek out calm space
• 32. Think differently about the ups and downs
• 33. Get over yourself
• 34. Practise gratitude
• 35. Cut yourself some slack
• 36. Look after yourself better
• 37. Look at stress differently
• 38. Find the right support
• 39. Help somebody else
• 40. Decode people more effectively
• 41. Go with the grain
• 42. Watch out for catastrophic thinking
• 43. Focus your time on the things that matter
• 44. Remember your values
• 45. Get your life in balance
• 46. Tackle change head-on
• 47. Learn optimism
• 48. Toughen up
• 49. Grab the steering wheel
• 50. Bounce back and bounce right
• Further reading
• About the author
• Acknowledgements
• Copyright