What If?

Short Stories to Spark Diversity Dialogue

Steve L. Robbins

• Publisher: Nicholas Brealey Publishing
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9781473690547
• eBook ISBN: 9781473698369
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Human Resource Management
• Index: Business

From incomparable storyteller and beloved diversity and inclusion expert, Steve L. Robbins, comes the 10th Anniversary Edition of his classic book used by scores of companies globally for diversity training.This 10th anniversary edition of the beloved classic features 10 new stories written by Dr. Robbins that help readers gain deeper insight into the role our brains play in shaping our thoughts and actions, and what we can do to be more curious and open-minded in our diverse world. Based on his study of the fields of behavioural science and cognitive neuroscience, Robbins explores unconscious bias in many of its forms, including; availability bias, confirmation bias, anchoring bias and others. What If? is a fun, unpretentious guide for individuals and organizations that will help break down defenses and shine a helpful light on human behaviour in a world filled with differences.

REVISING
MENTAL
MODELS

“While walls can serve to protect,
they can also isolate and imprison.”

—Steve L. Robbins

11

A Bunch of Noise

Are you a good friend? According to a high school buddy of mine, the answer to that question lies in your willingness to tell a person that they have food in their teeth. And he wasn’t referring to a tiny piece of black pepper. No, he meant the big, distracting blob of spinach or kale that commands attention in the midst of a face-to-face conversation. Set aside that embarrassing mental image for a second, and you’d have to admit that my friend’s litmus test for friendship strength has some validity.

The problem, as you’re realizing, is that you can’t let go of that image. If you’re like most people, you are now thinking about that green blob! It just hijacked your mind. You’re thinking of all the times you’ve been in that situation. You’re trying to recall what you did on those occasions. Or you’re checking your teeth right now, just to make sure you aren’t the one presently in need of a good friend. This mental image is what we in the field of communication call “noise.”

Noise, technically, is anything that might prevent you from getting your message across to another the way you originally desired. It’s a message, verbal or nonverbal, that’s not interpreted by the receiver the way the sender intended. Most people think of noise in terms of physical loudness, as measured in decibels. Ever wonder how loud some things are? A normal conversation takes place at about 60 decibels. An average gas-engine lawnmower is fairly loud, at something near 100 decibels. Within 10 feet, a jet engine attacks your eardrums at 140 decibels—definitely deafening!

Sometimes, however, noise has nothing to do with decibels. Noise can be something psychological or emotional caused by something physical. It can be that disgusting green blob of spinach in someone’s teeth that you can’t stop looking at. It’s akin to a Justin Bieber song. You know you shouldn’t listen, but you end up doing it anyway. Or, it’s your boss’s receding hairline that he tries to cover up with the “comb-over.” While these things have nothing to do with physical loudness, they are also noise.

Noise can be understood as distractions that cause misunderstandings, disruptions that block goal attainment, and perceptual filters that create misjudgment. In a workplace setting, noise then can be the tattoo or body piercing that causes you to underestimate the ability of a young coworker, or even an older one. It can be the style of someone’s clothing that doesn’t fit your perceptions of appropriate dress (emphasis on “your”). Noise can be another’s accent that conjures up thoughts of snobby, arrogant people. Noise can range from a person’s skin color to their gender to even which department they work in. It can be the type of educational degree one has or doesn’t have.

Noise can be as simple as another person’s name. For example, my wife (once a schoolteacher) and I had a very difficult time naming our children. Whenever I would mention a name, say Jeffrey, my wife would mention, “No, I once had a Jeffrey as a student, and he was difficult to deal with. Our kid can’t be named Jeffrey.” Then I would offer up James. “We can’t have a James,” my wife would say. “I had a James one year. I wouldn’t wish him upon anyone.” And it would go on and on. It’s a miracle our four kids have first names.

To understand how noise influences us, it might be helpful to think of noise and its impact similar to how a sound engineer views noise. Sound engineers are concerned about signal-to-noise ratio (S/N). In most cases, they want to decrease the amount of noise that might exist in a signal because noise operates to attenuate the clarity of the signal. In other words, noise hides parts of the signal. When it comes to people, noise can have a similar effect. Noise can hide talent. One person may not be able to get past another’s accent to see how smart they are. Another person can’t reconcile someone’s sexual orientation to realize how hardworking and talented they are. Still another isn’t able to overcome a person’s type or lack of a particular educational degree to appreciate their innovative ideas.

Interestingly, noise not only has the ability to hide talent; it can also hide a lack of talent. A lot of research suggests that perceived physical attractiveness influences our judgment of the competency in others. In other words, we might overrate a person’s writing ability because we think of them as attractive, and vice versa. Unless you can make the case that physical attractiveness is causally, or even in a correlational sense, related to writing ability, then what you have is noise. The type of educational degree one has can also hide a lack of talent. Just because a person holds a degree from an Ivy League school does not mean that individual is competent for the job you are asking them to do.

So how can you and I overcome the limiting effects of the noise that exists all around us? First, it’s helpful to remind ourselves that noise resides in the person making the judgment of the target. Noise does not reside within the target. In other words, think of noise as something that’s in us (not them) but prevents us from seeing or understanding others the way they want to be seen and understood. Second, we must become more aware and take inventory of the types of noise (i.e., biased mental models, opinions, beliefs) we have within us that can distort our thinking and interpretations of others and others’ ideas. Finally, we can practice becoming more mindful of intentionally addressing noise by challenging ourselves to learn more about others we presently deem to be “noisy.”

So, the question we began with, “How good a friend are you?” is actually a coded question for how well you are able to overcome and break through all of the noise you might experience in encounters with others. Are you willing to work to become more aware of the subtle noises that often lie beneath our level of awareness? If not, make it a point to become more aware. Make a list. Take some time with coworkers to identify the types of noise that inhabit your particular workplace. I think you’ll find there are many, and that many of the issues you face at work are the result of the noise you identify.

By the way, my high school buddy, you know, the one with the litmus test for relationships? He pondered other significant things, such as, “A good poop is often underrated.” Now, there’s some more mental noise for the rest of your day.

Minimizing the Negative Effects of Noise

To help you recognize and minimize the noise that can prevent you from seeing and understanding others the way they’d like to be seen and understood, here are some questions to ask, an activity, and an assignment for this week.

1. First glance. What operates like noise in your organization? Consider aspects of people (i.e., dimensions of diversity) that can have the effect of hiding talent as well as lack of talent. How has/does noise impact your organization in the competition for twenty-first-century talent?

2. Looking inward. What types of noise operate within you? How does noise influence the way you interact with people in the workplace? Home? Community?

3. What if? What if your organization took a critical look at “noise” and its effects on the workplace? What are some potential outcomes of such an examination, both negative and positive?

4. Activity. In a small group, ask people to list five things that they believe are noise. Compare people’s lists to see if there are commonalities. Have a conversation about your lists and any commonalities they may have.

5. This week’s assignment. On a piece of paper, write down one thing that operates as noise to you that you would like to address this week. Find ways to keep whatever you wrote down at the top of your mind and practice discovering what might be hidden behind the noise as you encounter people that your brain considers to be “noisy.”

12

“Bizeer Gummies”

“So, guys, what would you like for a snack before bedtime?” I asked as my three sons and I drove home one night. Nicholas and Zachary, the two eldest, quickly responded in unison: “Fruit roll-ups!”

“Now, there’s good eating,” I thought. I looked back at Jacob, our 2-year-old, who hadn’t yet put in his order. He seemed to be processing an algorithm in deciding what he wanted. “What would you like, Jacob?”

“Umm, umm, umm . . . bizeer gummies.”

“What kind of gummies?” I asked for clarification.

“Bizeer gummies!” he said confidently.

I searched my brain’s toddler-to-adult language translation database. Nothing. What in the heck are “bizeer gummies”? Maybe I was losing my hearing. Should have listened when my mom warned me about going to Bee Gees and Andy Gibb concerts.

“Can you say that again, Jacob? What would you like for a snack?”

“Bizeer gummies!” he said again, this time with a look and tone that made me feel like I was the language-challenged person in this dialogue. “I want bizeer gummies.”

I have a PhD in communication, yet I was floundering. What could this young alien be talking about? I had encountered other alien forms of communication in the past with my first two sons, but this was a different dialect. “Gummies” I understood. But “bizeer” did not register.

“Say it one more time, Jacob. What would you like for a snack?”

I turned my head to see Jacob scowling at me with eyebrows furrowed. “I WANT BIZEER GUMMIES!”

Still nothing. Just as I was about to throw in the translation towel, a voice piped up from the back of our minivan, “I know what Jacob wants.” Speaking with a calmness that belied my true feelings, I asked Nicholas, my eldest son, why he hadn’t said something sooner. All I got back was, “I don’t know.” He’s not even a teenager and already he doesn’t know things.

“So, what does Jacob want, Nicholas?”

“He wants Buzz Lightyear gummies,” my son responded nonchalantly, as if to suggest that I had received my PhD by mail order.

“Of course, Buzz Lightyear gummies,” I said to myself. It made perfect sense. My epiphany came just as we pulled into our driveway.

When I got in the house, I asked my wife if she knew what “bizeer gummies” were, just to reassure myself that other adults also are ignorant about toddler talk. “Of course!” she said with that how-did-men-come-to-run-the-world? look. “Bizeer gummies are Buzz Lightyear gummies. You would know that if you did more grocery shopping with your sons.”

Ouch! Ouch! and Ouch! In a span of 10 minutes my youngest son had taught me how frustrating it can be when one is not well understood, and my dear, loving wife had underscored the fact that to understand others, you must get to know them. And to get to know them, you must take intentional steps to spend time with them.

Who Are Your “Aliens”?

We’ve all heard it said that you can’t understand what you don’t know. But how many of us take to heart the fundamental lesson in that statement? To get to know people, you have to interact with them. And by interact, I do not mean exchanging polite, yet insincere, “drive-by” hellos while passing in the hall at work. Real, substantive interaction means taking time to hang out, to communicate, and to learn about one another.

Fundamentally, communication is the process of creating shared meaning and understanding. Even in this age of proliferating electronic communication, there is no substitute for face-to-face contact when developing relationships. The more time we spend with others, the more we tend to learn about them. The more we learn about them, the greater the chance that there will be fewer misunderstandings between us. Strangers become less strange. So, investing time in communicating with others is like taking out an insurance policy against lack of understanding in the future.

It’s hard to set aside time for people we don’t know. But with the United States becoming more racially and culturally diverse, it is imperative that individuals and organizations that want to be culturally competent take out that insurance policy. The more time we invest, the greater the chance we will learn that we have a lot in common, or that substantive differences are launchpads for greater learning.

When we don’t take the time to create shared meaning and understanding, we assure ourselves of future communication problems. Misunderstanding and lack of understanding often result in frustration and anger for all parties. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, or even a PhD in communication, to recognize that frustrated and angry people generally are not beneficial to organizations.

It’s in the best interest of organizations to encourage an investment in building relationships among their personnel, on and off the clock. And that means relationship building not just between people who feel comfortable with each other, but also between people who don’t find a lot in common right away. It’s with these “other” people that the potential for lack of understanding and misunderstanding is highest.

This failure in understanding often occurs when there is “noise” in the message transfer. By noise, I mean anything that hinders the receiver from getting the message the sender intended. Noise can be anything from a language barrier to distracting nonverbal signs to having lenses and filters that distort the message. Noise is not necessarily anyone’s fault. But we must recognize it as a cause of communication problems, and we must overcome it if we are to achieve effective communication.

A combination of factors contributed to the noise between Jacob and me. One factor was my lack of the correct filter to decipher the word “bizeer.” Another was my son’s way of pronouncing words, which did not fit my method and style of oral communication. Neither Jacob nor I can do much to muffle these types of noise. So I am left with only one course of action if I want to fix the noise problem immediately: I need to spend more time with Jacob, to get to know him and his method of communication better.

It’s really just that simple to overcome “understanding” problems with others who may communicate or act a little differently from the way we do. Yep, that’s right, we need to allocate more time to getting to know others. By building relationships, we will foster an environment in which creating shared meaning is more possible and reaching mutual understanding is more likely.

So take out that insurance policy and get to know others with whom you rarely spend time. But remember, insurance policies mature over time with regular payments. In the same way, relationships are built over time, with regular and frequent payments of attention. It’s hard work that often yields lasting benefits.

Getting Rid of the Noise

Is it time to cut down on the noise? To achieve noise reduction for yourself and your organization, here are some questions to ask, an activity, and an assignment for this week.

1. First glance. Identif...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Praise for What If? and Dr. Steve Robbins
• Preface
• Acknowledgments
• My Story
• Introduction
• REFRAMING THE WORLD
• REVISING MENTAL MODELS
• LEADING AND DOING
• CHANGING THE ORGANIZATION
• About the Author