A Pocket Coach: The Confidence Coach

Dr Sarah Jane Arnold, Sarah Jane Arnold

• Publisher: Michael O'Mara
• Year: 2018
• Print ISBN: 9781782439165
• eBook ISBN: 9781789290141
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Mental Health & Wellbeing

Your cool pocket companion and one-stop guide to capturing confidence! From the best-selling author of The Mindfulness Companion and The Can't Sleep Colouring Journal comes the second in our pocket-sized range of gift self-help titles, designed to help you tackle self-doubt and lack of confidence in every day life. Through helpful exercises, guidance and expert narrative, Dr Arnold's techniques for reclaiming your mojo, and getting closer to achieving your goals is now your coolly designed, pocket companion – and a perfect gift for a loved one.

INCREASING
our
WILLINGNESS

Now that we’ve gained insight into some of the key experiences that block us from building and enjoying genuine confidence, we want to turn the focus of our attention to what we can do to help ourselves and our situation. If we can make the risks associated with trying feel less frightening – by imbuing ourselves with helpful skills, new knowledge and experiences – then we will feel a little more willing to take steps outside of our comfort zone.

Trying anything even slightly unfamiliar and challenging will still feel daunting, and it will probably evoke stress, but you can support yourself to feel more able – and prepared – to cope well with your experiences. This will help you to build genuine confidence.

THE CONCEPT OF VALUE-BASED LIVING

Many of us know what it’s like to move through life on autopilot, aiming for arbitrary goals that we think we should achieve. Once we complete the goal of getting that qualification, that job, that house, that car, etc., we move on to the next thing. Goal after goal, these achievements can leave us feeling empty – without any real sense of personal fulfillment – if they’re not underpinned by our values (ongoing principles that really matter to us). If we’re not being authentic and honest with ourselves, it can really hinder our ability to build genuine confidence. This is where focusing on our values is useful.

‘Value-based living’, also known as value-based action, is a transformative concept that comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It’s a way of being and living that helps us to:

• know who we are

• come to like who we are

• feel motivated to act upon the things that really matter to us

• focus on the things that we can control

• develop genuine confidence.

Authentic, value-based living facilitates genuine self-worth and feelings of fulfillment. It positively impacts how we choose to spend our time, nurtures our self-esteem, encourages personal autonomy, and it develops self-efficacy – all of which help us to become more confident. Here’s a useful exercise for value-based living.

Take a look at the following values and select some that matter most to you – at the moment – within the context of your life now. Then shine the spotlight of your attention on these values for the next seven days:

Friendship

Reliability

Respect

Forgiveness

Fun

Control

Beauty

Friendliness

Authenticity

Bravery

Acceptance

Activity

Freedom

Reciprocity

Adaptability

Patience

Personal growth

Self Respect

Adventure

Assertiveness

Community

Connection

Autonomy

Caring

Charity

Determination

Dependability

Contribution

Discipline

Gratitude

Excitement

Fairness

Challenge

Commitment

Fitness

Cooperation

Creativity

Willpower...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Also in the Pocket Coach Series
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction
• Understanding Our Unwillingness
• Increasing Our Willingness
• Helpful Resources
• About the Author