Psobriety

A Journey of Recovery through the Psalms

Jeff Dafler

• Publisher: Westminster John Knox Press
• Year: 2021
• Print ISBN: 9780664266967
• eBook ISBN: 9781646981908
• Topic: Teologia e religione

Psobriety helps people in recovery develop and strengthen their spirituality with daily readings on each of the 150 Psalms. This daily devotional features the beloved, comforting words of the Psalms to encourage and support those in recovery from alcohol and substance abuse. The ancient poems give voice to the full array of human emotion, seeking the mercy and guidance of a Higher Power. A recovering alcoholic, author Jeff Dafler shares his own journey to sobriety, as well as wisdom from twelve-step programs, to inspire others walking the brave path of recovery.

The Daily Readings

Psalm 1

Happy are those

who do not follow the advice of the wicked,

or take the path that sinners tread,

or sit in the seat of scoffers;

but their delight is in the law of the LORD,

and on his law they meditate day and night.

(vv. 1–2)

This first psalm begins with a powerful word: Happy! How elusive happiness seemed on my first day without alcohol. I was very sick—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My hands were shaking, my head throbbing, my stomach churning. I had lost my job, badly hurt the people who loved me most, and turned my back on the very idea of a Higher Power. I was broken, alone, and filled with despair.

I felt miles away from anything even remotely close to happy. Yet in the first words of the psalm, “Happy are those,” was a glimmer of hope. There are those in the world who are happy. I saw them at an AA meeting I went to the evening of that first day without a drink. And I desperately wanted to feel what they felt.

There in verse 2 was a clue that I didn’t fully understand yet. Those happy people find their delight in meditating on God’s teachings “day and night.” At this point, I was willing to try anything to stop the pain. So, I started reading a psalm, a section from the Big Book, and praying every day. It was the first step in a long journey of recovery. A journey toward happiness.

God of happy people, thank you for giving us a glimpse of a better way. Please keep us sober today.

Psalm 2

I will tell of the decree of the LORD:

He said to me, “You are my son;

today I have begotten you.

Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage,

and the ends of the earth your possession.”

(vv. 7–8)

This psalm opens with earthly rulers plotting and planning ways to increase their power and control. For years, I thought I had to control everything and everyone in my life. I obsessed over it almost constantly, full of anxiety and fear that my carefully crafted plans would fall apart, that my plots would be in vain, as verse 1 says.

The more I tried—and failed—to control things, the more I drank. Sometimes I drank to calm my anxiety and quiet my racing mind. Other times I drank to console myself when my grand schemes fell apart. Like many addicts and alcoholics, I found only temporary relief. Alcohol and drugs might give us a momentary escape from troubles of our own making, but they always make things worse in the long run.

In Psalm 2, we read a magnificent promise from God: “You are my child; today I have begotten you.” This God, our Father, has all power. No longer do we need to worry or be afraid, no longer do we need to plot in vain. The God of the Psalms invites us to find our rest and refuge in him. All we have to do is let go.

All-powerful Creator, thank you for making us your children. Help us to let go of our need to control everything, and instead, turn it over to you. Please keep us sober today.

Psalm 3

I cry aloud to the LORD,

and he answers me from his holy hill.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

I am not afraid of ten thousands of people

who have set themselves against me all around.

(vv. 4, 6)

When we first stop drinking and using, it can feel as if the whole world is conspiring against us like the foes in Psalm 3. Old friends want us to go out and party. Every commercial on television seems to be about alcohol. Even that little voice inside is saying, “Come on! Just one. No one will know!”

Sitting in my first AA meeting, I started thinking about two bottles of beer I still had at home in the fridge (I had drunk everything else). I thought maybe I should just polish those off when I got home, and then I would quit. I mean, I already paid for them, right?

As the meeting ended, a nice couple came up to me, introduced themselves and told me they were glad I had come. They said all I could do was just not drink, one day at a time. And then, the woman gave me a “healing spirit” coin with a small prayer on the back.

When I got home, I prayed the prayer on that coin and repeated the small prayer I had said the day before: “God, please help me!” Somehow, God answered my prayer. I felt a rush of strength come over me. I went to the fridge, got the two bottles of beer, opened them, and poured them down the sink. To me, that was evidence that God has the power to defeat alcohol, my biggest enemy.

All-powerful God, thank you for saving us from our relentless foe. Please keep us sober today.

Psalm 4

You have put gladness in my heart

more than when their grain and wine abound.

I will both lie down and sleep in peace;

for you alone, O LORD, make me lie down in safety.

(vv. 7–8)

The psalmist here is suffering some ongoing trouble and asking God to rescue him. It would be nice if all our problems would disappear when we stopped drinking and using, but that’s not usually how it works.

For most of us, the lies we told, the hurt we caused, and the damage we did—to ourselves and others—weren’t magically wiped out when we put down the bottle. We come to realize that years of destructive behavior take a long time to overcome.

We learn to accept, though, that those wounds can only heal if we stop doing more harm. Getting drunk, getting high, no matter how badly we might want to, would only make things worse. We must begin to trust that the happiness that comes from our Higher Power is greater than when the “grain and wine abound.” And, God won’t give us a hangover!

Help us to turn to you, God, instead of the bottle when the urge to drink or use hits. May we sleep in peace knowing that you will never abandon us. Please keep us sober today.

Psalm 5

Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness

because of my enemies;

make your way straight before me.

For there is no truth in their mouths;

their hearts are destruction

(vv. 8-9a)

There are many voices trying to tell us there is an easier, softer way than the Twelve Steps and total reliance on a power greater than ourselves. These may be the voices of our friends or the people with whom we used to drink or use. They may be the voices of enablers who made excuses for us and tried to protect us from the consequences of our addiction. For me, the voices came mostly from within.

We learn from the Big Book that alcohol (like any drug) is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Once it has us in its grasp, it doesn’t want to let us go. The good news is that there is a power greater than alcohol or drugs—a power that can “cast them out,” as the psalmist writes in today’s poem.

I found that the more meetings I attended, the more I prayed, the more I read the Big Book and surrounded myself with sober people, the quieter those voices became. I doubt they will ever leave me for good, but I hear them less frequently with each passing day. If I turn to my Higher Power for help and listen for this voice alone, whether in the words of a psalm or the encouragement of a friend in recovery, I can stay sober one more day.

God, we ask that you would silence the voices that call us back to misery and despair. May we listen only for your voice calling us to a life of freedom, peace, and joy. Please keep us sober today.

Psalm 6

Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing;

O LORD, heal me, for my bones are shaking with terror.

(v. 2)

We learn in “The Doctor’s Opinion” at the beginning of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that we suffer from a disease. In his letter, Dr. William Silkworth writes about his experience trying to treat the disease of alcoholism, its symptoms and causes, as well as his frustration with various methods and failed “cures.”

As with the writer of Psalm 6, Dr. Silkworth came to believe that only God has the power to save us from our suffering. Many of us alcoholics and addicts have tried without success to control our disease on our own. Perhaps we tried to moderate our intake. I tried switching to only beer and wine, tried to drink only on weekends, only in the evening, only after noon. None of it seemed to work for long. When we finally face the evidence, we must accept that we are powerless over alcohol and drugs—that our disease has made our lives unmanageable.

But as we begin to recover, we come to believe that there is One who has all power, One who will not leave us to languish in our disease forever, One who will hear our pleas and heal us. That One is God. Cry out—God will answer.

Loving God, the Great Physician, begin your healin...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Dedication
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Introduction
• The Daily Readings
• Works Cited