Reclaiming the Church Family

A Solution to the Corporate-Church Crisis

Matthew T. Kimbrough

• Publisher: Wipf and Stock
• Year: 2022
• ISBN:
  9781666722093
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Systematic Theology & Ethics

Why bother with church? Can't I follow Jesus on my own? Christians young and old struggle to answer these questions, believing Scripture says little about church life. But the Bible is far from silent. The New Testament envisions a vibrant church of devoted brothers and sisters adopted into God's family. The biblical image of the church family has the power to reshape everything our local churches do--the ways pastors lead, how members engage one another, what worship leaders sing, and much more. Now is the time to reclaim a biblical vision of the church as a family and reject the prevailing corporate-church paradigm assumed by church growth gurus. The church that thinks of itself as a family will learn to build meaningful relationships and show the unbelieving world how good church life can be.

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Introduction

The Power of a Metaphor

The church is a family, not a business. Church leaders are pastors, not CEOs. Members are siblings, not colleagues. I intend to explore these claims in the pages that follow. But do such distinctions really matter? So what if our pastor sees himself as a corporate executive. As long as he accomplishes his weekly tasks—preaching, counseling, and organizing—and the church fulfills its obligations—evangelism and discipleship—should we split hairs over terminology? In other words, is this book worthy of my time?

Yes, it is! In case my answer doesn’t satisfy you, let’s look at the facts. The familial metaphor appears in twenty-five of the twenty-seven New Testament books. Every New Testament author except Jude calls followers of Jesus siblings.1 And when the original New Testament audiences thought of a brother or sister, they didn’t imagine someone they called once a week. They thought of siblings as deeply connected, loyal, and affectionate family members. Siblings protect one another. They encourage and correct. And they work hard to preserve their relationship. And the New Testament expects fellow believers to do the same. Not every author emphasizes the siblingship of believers to the same degree, but sibling language quickly became the standard way to describe the church.2 So, this book is worthy of your time if you desire your local church to conform to the image of church life we see in Scripture.3

Before we jump into Scripture, though, we need to understand the importance of metaphors. Why does it matter that the New Testament so frequently employs familial metaphors? If metaphors are mere analogies meant to entertain an audience, then the prominence of sibling language doesn’t hold much weight for our churches today. They used some metaphors, and we use others. No harm, no foul. But if metaphors dramatically alter how we think and, as a result, determine how we act, then metaphors matter. So, hang with me as we briefly discuss the sneaky power of the metaphor.

Friend, Teacher, Warden, or Coach?

The Christian Scriptures lay down the law on marriage. Leave and cleave (Gen 2:24). Don’t divorce (Matt 19:9). Husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the church, and wives should respect their husbands (Eph 5:28–33). Paul even prohibits married couples from pursuing holiness through celibacy (1 Cor 7:2–5). But when it comes to parenting, the waters become murky. Proverbs celebrates fatherly discipline as an act of love, and Paul warns fathers not to irritate their children needlessly (Col 3:21).4 But where is the biblical book devoted to clear, direct parenting guidelines?

Today, parenting blogs fill the vacuum of Scripture’s relative silence on the hows and whens of raising children. New mothers and fathers desperate to locate a rescue raft on the raging river of dirty diapers and all-night crying sessions (for the infant and parents) cling to parenting blogs. At least someone can give a solution at three in the morning when the real trouble begins. The problem, though, is that bloggers disagree—not just about specific strategies but about the foundation of parenting. At the heart of their disagreement is the root metaphor for parenting. In other words, what image should we use to describe the parent-child relationship? Is the parent a friend? A teacher? A prison warden? A life coach? What exactly is a parent?

Such questions may sound philosophical and abstract, but the practical implications matter. Parents whose root metaphor is warden inevitably make their children into prisoners. The warden strives to produce children who obey the rules, and insubordination is the ultimate crime. Contrast the life coach root metaphor. Life coaches guide their children with words of encouragement, so little Jack and Jill can reach their personal goals. Life coaches don’t set the agenda or demand obedience. They practice a soft touch, gently buffering their children along the path to success.

I doubt many parents consciously articulate their root metaphor. And most mix and match metaphors as needed, an essential practice for the challenging and endlessly fluctuating task of parenting. Good parents seamlessly shift from coach to teacher to drill sergeant without grinding their gears. The problem comes when parents latch onto a single root metaphor and don’t let go—especially when they don’t realize it. Wardens mindlessly scream at their children without remorse and demand compliance without grace because their primary image of what a parent is does not allow mercy. Children can’t step outside the house—the penitentiary—because the warden can’t trust them. The subconscious root metaphor becomes a filter for all parenting decisions and attitudes because how parents think about their role determines everything they do.

Thinking Begets Doing

The apostle Paul also believed that the way people think determines what they do. Paul frames the theologically rich epistle to the Romans around the issue of thinking. Paul begins the letter in 1:18–32 with idolatry—the creature worshiping fellow creatures rather than the Creator. God’s response is judgment, though not the kind often depicted in popular culture. God doesn’t threaten to strike down profane sinners with a lightning bolt. No, God offers an even more alarming response, essentially telling the sinner, “Thy will be done.”

Specifically, Paul describes three ways God hands over sinners to their sin, enacting what we might call passive judgment. Parents practice passive judgment by permitting their daughter to wear those sparkly but uncomfortable shoes on a hike, allowing natural consequences to teach the lesson. Active judgment, on the other hand, looks like grounding the teen who misses curfew.

Paul begins his discussion of sin and judgment in Romans with a sequence of passive judgments against those who idolize fellow creatures. God hands idolaters over to their impurity (v. 24) and then to degrading passions (v. 26). But God reserves the third act of passive punishment for those who refuse even to acknowledge God’s existence: God gives them over to a depraved mind (v. 28). Depraved thinking produces a litany of sinful behaviors (vv. 29–31) and causes sinners to celebrate the sinfulness of others (v. 32). The depraved mind sets no boundaries on depraved actions, and utter sinfulness inevitably follows.

Thankfully, Paul doesn’t end his epistle after chapter 1. We can’t discuss the entire epistle, but two other pit stops will illustrate the value the apostle places on thinking. First, let’s jump to Romans 6:11, the middle of the primarily...