Change Makers

A Woman's Guide to Stepping Up Without Burning Out at Work

Katy Murray

• Publisher: Kogan Page
• Year: 2022
• Print ISBN: 9781398605060
• eBook ISBN: 9781398605077
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Management
• Index: Business

SHORTLISTED: Business Book Awards 2023 - Work & Life We've come some way in the fight for equality in the workplace, but we aren't finished yet. Join the women who are finding a powerful new way to lead. In Change Makers, expert leadership coach Katy Murray presents an actionable plan to expand your influence, step forward and make a difference at work. The book shares powerful habits that will reshape your brain and shift your behaviour. Learn how to clarify your purpose, increase your joy, and boost your energy, whilst also managing overwhelm and preventing burnout. Change Makers leads you through a personalized journey of self-discovery, with practical templates, exercises and coaching prompts to support your progress. Includes inspirational real-life examples of change-making women, including Lara Sheldrake of Found & Flourish, Davinia Tomlinson from rainchq, Naomi Evans from Everyday Racism and Lauren Currie OBE of UPFRONT. Uncover how to embody change, break down barriers, disrupt systems and co-create a more equitable world.

CHAPTER ONE

Change-making wisdom

‘Who are you and why are you here?’

An emotion’s only purpose in life is to be felt.

ANON

Chapters 1 and 2 give you a whistle-stop tour through key self-awareness concepts. It’s the ‘inner work’ foundation to equip you as change-making leaders and change makers in your workplace. In this chapter we’ll unpack what’s going on in your inner dialogue, and how tuning into your thinking and feeling gives you essential data!

I’m sharing powerful insights about how your mind, emotions and body are interconnected; we’ll look at perceptions, the purpose of emotions, our body’s threat response and thinking errors. We’ll close the chapter with a beautiful gratitude power practice.

The stories we tell ourselves

Let’s start with our perception and run an experiment together.

EXERCISE Perception

Jesse is travelling on a bus. Can you picture her? Allow your mind to picture her right now. What does she look like? What is she wearing? Where is she travelling to? What story does your brain give you about this particular woman? Is she like you?

Now let me give you more information about Jesse and let’s see what happens to your mental image of her.

• As I already mentioned, Jesse is riding on the bus.
• Jesse is swinging her legs and admiring her pink wellies, clutching a teddy bear in her arms.
• Can you see Jesse? What does she look like now?
• Let me tell you something more about Jesse.
• Jesse is so excited to see her grand-daughter Ali again.
• Jesse hasn’t seen Ali for many months, as Jesse’s only just returned from her round-the-world sailing trip.

Ok, let’s debrief that mini brain experiment.

• What happened to your image of Jesse? Did her identity change as you worked through that story?
• How old was she at the beginning of the story? What did she look like?
• How old is she in your mind now? What does she look like?

I start by seeing a woman like me, then a small kid with pigtails, then an old granny, stooped, with a walking stick and headscarf, then a super-toned gran wearing Lycra!

How about you?

Notice how your image of Jesse shifts. Notice how when you get a piece of data (‘she’s on the bus’, ‘she’s wearing wellies’) your brain fills in the gaps.

This is how bias and perception work. Your brain will choose from data that’s already stored and you’re most familiar with; it will pattern match. Here’s a granny… oh, grannies wear headscarves! You and I may share some stereotypical perceptions of grannies, so we may have had some similar images pop into our minds. And your brain will have given you data and imagery, unique to you and your experience of grannies… and buses… and wellies… and so on.

Notice then how the story your brain gives you (which includes all kinds of assumptions and biases) affects your perception of reality.

I share this exercise with you to demonstrate how malleable our perception of reality is, how we can shape and tell multiple versions of a story.

Our own version of a story will likely be very believable to us. The story we’re telling ourselves also shapes the experiences we have. We can change the story we’re telling ourselves, and see what difference that makes to what we’re experiencing.

When I ask ‘where are you?’ notice how you can answer that question in so many different ways. You can answer it in terms of geography and location (‘I’m currently in Scotland’), you can be more specific (‘I’m at Rannoch Road in Edinburgh’) and you can get even more precise (‘I’m in the kitchen cooking pasta’).

You can answer the question ‘where are you?’ in a way that reflects your emotions. ‘I’m a little lost right now’ or ‘I’m feeling really settled’.

You can answer ‘where are you?’ in terms of where you feel you’re at more broadly in life, for example ‘I’m at the stage of life where I’m questioning everything’, ‘I’m wanting to settle down’ or ‘I’m restless for more adventure…’.

REFLECTION POINT

• What’s the story you’re telling yourself about where you’re at?
• How does the story you’re telling yourself affect how you feel?
• How does the story you’re telling yourself affect the meaning that you’re giving to your situation?

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Through this book I’m inviting you to be open to some new stories, some new interpretations.

At the same time, our perceptions are also shaped by strong societal conditioning, which forms biases, pre-judgements and prejudices in our minds, and creates cultural norms across society. We often don’t see how much these factors have conditioned us and are shaping us so strongly.

Through this book I’m inviting you to be open to seeing and noticing this conditioning, so that you can start to unlearn it, and step up in your change-making leadership.

Let’s dive into some deeper self-discovery and self- awareness.

Tuning into your thoughts and feelings

Tuning into your inner dialogue is foundational for your wellbeing and change-making skillset. This may be new or a refresher for you – notice what your inner dialogue wants to say to you about that!

This gratitude power practice demonstrates how powerful our thoughts are to affect how we feel, and then how we show up. Read it through first before you close your eyes! Or ask a friend to lead you through it.

POWER PRACTICE Gratitude

• Find an undisturbed space, close your eyes.
• Take a few slow breaths. Notice where your breath enters and leaves your body.
• Every time there’s a new thought or a distraction, just bring your attention back to your breath.
• Do this for a few moments.
• Feel your body relax.
• Bring to your mind three things that you’re grateful for. They can be big, medium, small, doesn’t ...

Table of contents

• List of figures and tables
• About the author
• About this book
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• 1 Change-making wisdom: ‘Who are you and why are you here?’
• 2 Change-making self-awareness: ‘Where are you?’
• 3 Change-making resilience: ‘How are you?’
• 4 Change-making plan: ‘What do you want?’
• 5 Change-making focus: ‘How will you get there?’
• 6 Change-making barrier busting: ‘Who do you think you are?!’
• 7 Change-making ecosystem: Dialling up your visibility
• 8 Change-making impact: Pulling it all together to build a change-making life you love – stepping up without burning out
• Notes
• Resources to complement this book and working with Katy
• Index