Jeremy

Hugh Walpole

• Publisher: Averill Press
• Year: 2013
• Print ISBN: 9781408634264
• eBook ISBN: 9781473391321
• Topic: Literature
• Index: Literature

This antiquarian volume contains the narrative of a year in the life of a content, normal but extremely imaginative boy growing up with his two siblings and his dog, Hamlet, in Colchester-by-the-sea, Cornwall. It is a heart-warming and humorous tale written with an affection and insight that is indicative of its autobiographical nature. 'Jeremy' is a lovely text worthy of a place on any bookshelf, and one not to be missed by fans and collectors of Walpole's work. The chapters of this book include: The Birthday, The Family Dog, Christmas Pantomime, Miss Jones, The Sea-Captain, Family Pride, Religion, The Cow Farm, The Awakening of Charlotte, and more. Sir Hugh Seymour Walpole (1884 - 1941) was English novelist who was born in New Zealand. This volume is being republished now in an affordable, modern edition complete with a specially commissioned new biography of the author.

CHAPTER IV

MISS JONES

I

THE coming of the new year meant the going of the Jampot, and the going of the Jampot meant the breaking of a life-time’s traditions. The departure was depressing and unsettling; the weather was—as it always is during January in Glebeshire—at its worst, and the Jampot, feeling it all very deeply, maintained a terrible Spartan composure, which was meant to show indifference and a sense of injustice. She had to the very last believed it incredible that she should really go. She had been in the old Orange Street house for eight years, and had intended to be there until she died. She was forced to admit that Master Jeremy was going beyond her; but in September he would go to school, and then she could help with the sewing and other things about the house. The real truth of the matter was that she had never been a very good servant, having too much of the Glebeshire pride and independence and too little of the Glebeshire fidelity.

Mrs. Cole had been glad of the opportunity that Hamlet’s arrival in the family had given her. The Jampot, only a week before the date of her departure, came to her mistress and begged, with floods of tears, to be allowed to continue in her service. But Mrs. Cole, with all her placidity, was firm. The Jampot had to go.

I would like to paint a pleasant picture of the sentiment of the Cole children on this touching occasion; something, perhaps, in the vein of tragi-comedy with which Mr. Kenneth Graham embroiders a similar occasion in his famous masterpiece—but in this case there was very little sentiment and no tragedy at all. They did not think of the event beforehand, and then when it suddenly occurred there was all the excitement of being looked after by Rose, the housemaid, of having a longer time with their mother in the evening, and, best of all, a delightful walk with Aunt Amy, whose virginal peace of mind they attacked from every possible quarter.

The Jampot left in a high state of sulks, declaring to the kitchen that no woman had ever been so unfairly treated; that her married sister Sarah Francis, of Rafiel, with whom she was now to live, should be told all about it, and that the citizens of Rafiel should be compelled to sympathise. The children were not unfeeling, but they hated the Jampot’s sulks, and while she waited in the nursery, ldnging for a word or movement of affection, but wearing a face of stony disapproval, they stood awkwardly beholding her, and aching for her to go. She was the more unapproachable in that she wore her Sunday silks and a heavy black bonnet with shiny rattling globes of some dark metal that nodded and becked and bowed like live things. Hamlet, who had, of course, always hated the Jampot, barked at this bonnet furiously, and would have bitten at it had it been within his reach. She had meant to leave them all with little sentences about life and morals; but the noise of the dog, the indifference of the children, and the general air of impatience for her departure strangled her aphorisms. Poor Jampot! She was departing to a married sister who did not want her, and would often tell her so; her prospects in life were not bright, and it is sad to think that no inhabitant of the Orange Street house felt any sorrow at the sight of the last gesticulating wave of her black bonnet as she stepped into the old mouldy Polchester cab.

“The King is dead—long live the King!” The Jampot as a power in the Cole family has ceased to be.

The day following the Jampot’s departure offered up the news that, for the first time in the history of the Coles, there was to be a governess. The word “governess” had an awful sound, and the children trembled with a mixture of delight and terror. Jeremy pretended indifference.

“It’s only another woman,” he said. “She’ll be like the Jampot—only, a lady, so she won’t be able to punish us as the Jampot could.”

I expect that Mr. and Mrs. Cole had great difficulty in finding anyone who would do. Thirty years ago governesses were an incapable race, and belonged too closely either to the Becky Sharp or the Amelia type to be very satisfactory. It was then that the New Woman was bursting upon the scene, but she was not to be found amongst the governesses. No one in Polchester had learnt yet to cycle in rational costume, it was several years before the publication of “The Heavenly Twins,” and Mr. Trollope’s Lilys and Lucys were still considered the ideal of England’s maidenhood. Mrs. Cole, therefore, had to choose between idiotic young women and crabbed old maids, and she finally chose an old maid. I don’t think that Miss Jones was the very best choice that she could have made, but time was short. Jeremy, aided by Hamlet, was growing terribly independent, and Mr. Cole had neither the humour nor the courage to deal with him. No, Miss Jones was not ideal, but the Dean had strongly, recommended her. It is true that the Dean had never seen her, but her brother, with whom she had lived for many years, had once been the Dean’s curate. It was true that he had been a failure as a curate, but that made the Dean the more anxious to be kind now to his memory, he—Mr. Jones—having just died of general bad-temper and selfishness.

Miss Jones, buried during the last twenty years in the green depths of a Glebeshire valley, found herself now, at the age of fifty, without friends, without money, without relations. She thought that she would be a governess.

The Dean recommended her, Mrs. Cole approved of her birth, education and sobriety, Mr. Cole liked the severity of her countenance when she came to call, and she was engaged.

“Jeremy needs a tight hand,” said Mr. Cole. “It’s no use having a young girl.”

“Miss Jones easily escapes that charge,” said Uncle Samuel, who had met her in the hall.

The children were prepared to be good. Jeremy felt that it was time to take life seriously. He put away his toy village, scolded Hamlet for eating Mary’s pincushion, and dragged out his dirty exercise-book in which he did sums.

“I do hate sums!” he said, with a sigh, regarding the hideous smudges of thumbs and tears that scored the page. “I shall never understand anything about them.”

“I’ll help you,” said Mary, who was greatly excited at the thought of a governess. “We’ll do them together.”

“No we won’t,” said Jeremy, who hated to be dependent. “I’ll learn it myself—if only the paper didn’t get dirty so quickly.”

“Mother says,” remarked Helen, “that she’s had a very hard life, and no one’s ever been kind to her. ‘She wants affection,’ Mother says.”

“I’ll give her my napkin-ring that you gave me last Christmas, Mary,” said Jeremy. “You don’t mind, do you? It’s all dirty now. I hope Hamlet won’t bark at her.”

Hamlet was worrying Mary’s pincushion at the moment, holding it between his paws, his body stretched out in quivering excitement, his short, “snappy” tail, as Uncle Samuel called it, standing up straight in air. He stopped for an instant when he heard his name, and shook one ear.

“Mother says,” continued Helen, “that she lived with a brother who never gave her enough to eat.”

Jeremy opened his eyes. This seemed to him a horrible thing.

“She shall have my porridge, if she likes,” he said; “I don’t like it very much. And I’ll give her that chocolate that Mr. Jellybrand sent us. There’s still some, although it’s rather damp now, I expect.”

“How silly you are!” said Helen scornfully. “Of course, Mother will give her anything she wants.”

“It isn’t silly,” said Jeremy. “Perhaps she’ll want more than she really wants. I’ often do.”

“Oh, you!” said Helen.

“And if for ever so long,” said Jeremy, “she hasn’t had enough to eat, she’ll want twice as big meals now as other people—to make up.”

“Mother says we’ve got to remember she’s a lady,” said Helen.

“What’s the difference,” asked Jeremy, “between a lady and not a lady?”

“Oh, you are!” said Helen. “Why, Aunt Amy’s a lady, and Rose isn’t.”

“Rose is nicer,” said Jeremy.

Miss Jones had, I am sorry to say, lied to Mrs. Cole in one particular. She had told her that “she had had to do with children all her life,” the fact being that on several occasions some little cousins had come to stay with herself and her brother. On these occasions the little cousins had been so paralysed with terror that discipline had not been difficult. It was from these experiences that Miss Jones flattered herself that “she understood children.”

So audacious a self-confidence is doomed to invite the scornful punishment of the gods.

Miss Jones arrived upon a wet January afternoon, one of those Glebeshire days when the town sinks into a bath of mud and mist and all the pipes run water and the eaves drip and horses splash and only ducks are happy. Out of a blurred lamp-lit dusk stumbled Miss Jones’s cab, and out of a blurred unlit cab stumbled Miss Jones.

As she stood in the hall trying to look warm and amiable, Mrs. Cole’s heart forsook her. On that earlier day of her visit Miss Jones had looked possible, sitting up in Mrs. Cole’s drawing-room, smiling her brightest, because she so desperately needed the situation, and wearing her best dress. Now she was all in pieces; she had had to leave her little village early in the morning to catch the village bus; she had waited at wayside stations, as in Glebeshire only one can wait; the world had dripped upon her head and spattered upon her legs. She had neuralgia and a pain in her back; she had worn her older dress because, upon such a day, it would not do to travel in her best; and then, as a climax to everything, she had left her umbrella in the train. How she could do such a thing upon such a day! Her memory was not her strongest point, poor lady, and it was a good umbrella, and she could not afford to buy another. Perhaps they would find it for her, but it was very unlikely.

She had had it for a number of years.

She was a little woman, all skin and bone, with dried withered cheeks, a large brown nose and protruding ears. Her face had formed severe lines in self-defence against her brother, but her eyes were mild, and when she smiled her mouth was rather pleasantly pathetic.

“Oh, she’ll never do,” thought Mrs. Cole, as she looked at her dripping in the hall.

“I can’t think how I forgot it,” said the poor lady, her mind fixed upon her umbrella. “They said that perhaps they would find it for me, but there was a man in my carriage, I remember, who will most certainly have taken it—and it was a nice one with a silver handle.”

“Never mind,” said Mrs. Cole cheerfully, “I’m sure they’ll find it. You must come up to the nursery—or the schoolroom I suppose we must call it now; there’s a lovely fire there, and we’ll both have tea with the children to-day, so as to feel at home, all of us, as quickly as possible.”

What Miss Jones wanted was to lie down on a bed in a dark room and try and conquer her neuralgia. The thought of a lighted nursery filled her with dismay. However, first impressions are so important. She pulled herself together.

The children had heard the arrival; they waited in a bunch by the fire, their eyes partly fixed on the door, partly on the strawberry jam that they were allowed to-day as a treat in the new governess’s honour. Hamlet, his eyes and ears also upon the door, expecting perhaps a rat, perhaps Aunt Amy, sat in front of the group, its bodyguard.

“She’s in the hall,” said Helen, “and now Mother’s saying: ‘Do take off your things. You must be wet,’ and now she’s saying: ‘You’ll like to see the childre...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Contents
• I The Birthday
• II The Family Dog
• III Christmas Pantomime
• IV Miss Jones
• V The Sea-Captain
• VI Family Pride
• VII Religion
• VIII To Cow Farm
• IX The Awakening of Charlotte
• X Mary
• XI The Merry-Go-Round
• XII Hamlet Waits