America's Dumbest Criminals

Daniel Butler, Leland Gregory, Alan Ray

• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Year: 1995
• Topic: Social Sciences
• eBook ISBN:
  9781418558796
• Subtopic: Social Science Biographies
• Index: Social Sciences

100 crazy stories of America's dumbest criminals.

WARNING: The crimes you are about to read are true. The names have been changed... to protect the ignorant.

Here is the ultimate collection of the most incredibly stupid and painfully dumb attempts at crime ever brought together.

• The woman who invalidated her winning $5, 000 lottery ticket by altering it to match the $20 prize number
• The accused vending-machine thief who paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters
• The streaking robber who thought clothes would make him more identifiable
• The convenience store thief who got away with just a hotdog, only to end up in the parking lot choking on the wiener

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction
• 1. Never Mind
• 2. The World’s Shortest Trial
• 3. Look Out! He’s Got a What is That?
• 4. Positive I.D.
• 5. Riches to Rags
• 6. D.O.B.
• 7. Drive Aaround, Please
• 8. The Considerate Criminal
• 9. Taken for a Ride
• 10. Jumpin’ Jack Flasher
• 11. Beats the Hell out of Me
• 12. Insulated from Good Sense
• 13. Going out with a Bang
• 14. A Large Naked Anchovy and Pepperoni
• 15. “Not by the Hair of My Chinny-Chin-Chin!”
• 16. Junior Meets the Sandman
• 17. Write On!
• 18. Go Directly to Jail
• 19. It’s the Law
• 20. He Can Hide, but He Can’t Run
• 21. Lovin’ in Fifteen Minutes
• 22. Look Out! He’s Got a Turtle and He Knows How to Use It!
• 23. Luck of the Draw
• 24. Pulling the Rug Out
• 25. Don’t Try It Again, Sam
• 26. Bound for the Cooler
• 27. Two-Bit Thief
• 28. A Really Big Bust
• 29. Bare Truth
• 30. Love Thy Neighbor
• 31. Five Will Get You Ten or Twenty-Five
• 32. Big Mac Attackers
• 33. In the Mood
• 34. There’s One Born Every Minute
• 35. The Sad Saga of Bad Luck Brown
• 36. Another Run of Bad Luck Brown
• 37. A Dam Dumb Idea
• 38. Arrest Record
• 39. It’s the Law
• 40. The Light at the End of the Tennie
• 41. Possession Is Nine-Tenths of the Law
• 42. All Thumbs
• 43. What’s the Number for 911?
• 44. Backseat Driver
• 45. Door-to-Door Crime Buster
• 46. Drag Race
• 47. Bad Bribes
• 48. Type Ohhhhhhh!
• 49. Sticky Situation
• 50. Big Brother Is Watching You
• 51. Going My Way?
• 52. Asleep at the Wheel
• 53. I Can’t Believe It
• 54. Hop in Back
• 55. Good Thinking
• 56. Read My List
• 57. If You Can’t Beat ’Em
• 58. Camera Hog
• 59. Another Crime of Passion
• 60. Once Bitten, Twice Bitten
• 61. All Aboard!
• 62. Life Is Like a Pair of Brown Shoes
• 63. The Clothes Make the Man Dumb!
• 64. Potted Plants
• 65. Once a Soldier
• 66. A Shining Example
• 67. Always Wear Your Seat Belt
• 68. Auto Suggestion
• 69. You’ve Come a Short Way, Baby
• 70. Don’t Pull That One on Me
• 71. Left Holding the Bag
• 72. The Wrong Guy
• 73. When You Gotta Go
• 74. Go Figure ...
• 75. Stop That Thief and Step on It!
• 76. The Twenty-Eight Daze of February
• 77. Name-Brand Robbery
• 78. Gone Fishin’
• 79. The Robber with a Lemon
• 80. A Con a Sewer
• 81. The Case of the Beer-Box Bandit
• 82. Skid Row
• 83. Back Door Man
• 84. Step by Step
• 85. Dressed for Arrest
• 86. Four-Wheel Suspicion
• 87. Quick Comeback
• 88. As the Crow Pries
• 89. Stealing Home!
• 90. The Fall Guy
• 91. Wrong Side of the Tracks
• 92. My Name’s Steve, and I’ll Be Your Dealer Today
• 93. Hooked on Crime
• 94. A Red-Hot Robbery
• 95. The Five-Year Cab Ride
• 96. Winner Loses
• 97. The Civic-Minded Cocaine Cooker
• 98. Cold Cash
• 99. Bloodhound Blues
• 100. All’s Well That Ends