The Children
ONE
One August morning in 1956, Whit Whitman sat down to a breakfast of soft-boiled eggs and toast with his grandmother Trudy. They dined outdoors on the wide front porch of Lakeside Cottage. Whitās father had an early golf game that morning. His mother and sister had gone for a sail on the lake. Although he was only eight at the time, Whit would always remember what he and his grandmother talked about during their breakfast. First, Trudy had described her displeasure at finding the family cat on her bed when she awoke. She had thought it was her sweater and was alarmed when it sprang from her hands. Then they had discussed the weather.
āIsnāt it cold for August?ā Trudy asked.
āNot really,ā said Whit. He wanted to go sailing and was bitter about being left behind to look after his grandmother.
āWonāt you and your father want to plant bulbs this afternoon? Or is it too soon for bulbs? Didnāt we just plant the tomatoes?ā
Whit answered in a dull monotone. It was a bit soon for the bulbs. The tomatoes had been planted in May.
āOh, didnāt we have the loveliest tomatoes last night?ā Trudy asked.
āYes, Gran.ā
āWerenāt they perfectly ripe, dear?ā
āYes, they were.ā
āThe roses, have they been cut back?ā
āI donāt know, Gran,ā Whit said, squinting out at the lake in search of his motherās boat. (Hereās the point in the story where I always see the two white birches, gone now, against a flat blue sky, and the lake spread all around them like a pool of shimmering silver.)
āItās too soon to cut them back. Theyāre still blooming,ā Trudy scolded, as if it had been Whit who suggested cutting the roses back in the first place.
āWould you like to walk down to the garden, Gran?ā Whit asked.
āNo, dear, thank you,ā Trudy said. āBut if youāll excuse me, I think Iāll just go upstairs and die now.ā
āGran, not die,ā Whit corrected her. āYou mean lie, not die.ā
But Trudy had meant die. She walked up the back stairs to her bedroom. She used the servantsā staircase behind the kitchen because she found the carpeted front stairs harder to manage. Then she folded back the quilt on her bed, pressed herself against the cool sheets, and died.
āIt was her time. She was eighty-nine years old,ā Whit would explain years later, his eyes sparkling and sometimes streaming with tears in the telling. (Whit was unable to laugh properly without crying.) āStill, it was the way she did itāso polite. Well, she was a Farmington girl, after all. One doesnāt just die.ā
Whit was my stepfather. My sister, Sally, and I grew up in his house, and we often begged him to repeat this story to us when we were little girls, usually interrupting him with demands for details.
āDid she really try to wear the cat?ā
āWas her body stiff when you found it?ā
āDid it smell?ā
Trudy Whitman wasnāt the first to die at Lakeside. Her mother-in-law, Ruth, died here twenty years prior. According to family legend, Ruth had spent much of her ninety-third summer in bed because she had some kind of heart problem. One night, a rabid raccoon ate its way through the window screen and leaped up on her bed, snarling and spitting blood-tinged foam everywhere, so old Ruth Whitman beat it to death with her book. Ruth didnāt contract rabies from the animal, but instead enjoyed several weeks of renewed vigor, dressing each evening for dinner with very little help from the maid. One night, after tasting her dessert, she said, āThat German cook has finally stopped using too much sugar in the rhubarb. Itās quite good.ā Then she astonished her family by appearing to forgo utensils and eat her pie from the plate like a dog. In fact, her heart had stopped. She had died, and thatās just where her face had come to rest, there in the German cookās rhubarb pie.
Whit loved telling family stories, their general theme being that Whitmans are gritty and combative, they live long and then die when theyāre good and readyānot a moment sooner. So it must have come as a shock to him to learn that he had cancer at age sixty-five, though it was anybodyās guess how he reacted, as he kept the diagnosis to himself until just a few months before he died. Then he told only our mother, Joan, who neglected to inform any of us kids until after he was gone.
āItās what Whit wanted,ā she had said at the time. It seems that he didnāt think he was going to die as soon as he did. Perhaps he thought the rules of cell division, malignancies, and whatnot, like so many other boring rules, simply didnāt apply to him. Maybe he thought he could opt out of the whole cancer scheme that his doctor had laid out before him. In any case, he did die, less than a year after his diagnosis, leaving Lakeside in a sort of limbo.
Lakeside Cottage is still owned by the Whitman estate. It was left to my stepbrothers, Perry and Spin Whitman, but Whit requested that Joan be allowed to live here for the remainder of her life. Itās all part of a family trust. Sally and I arenāt part of the trust, being May-nards and not Whitmans.
Sally lives in Manhattan now, but I live at Lakeside with Joan. Iām twenty-nine. I knowāIām a little old to live in my motherās house. I like it here, though, and not just because itās free, as my stepbrother Perry is always hinting. I work at home. I have a blog, and Iām also thinking of writing a book about Laurel Atwood. Maybe a sort of memoir.
Itās hard to understand what attracted Spin to Laurel, and vice versa, without understanding the Whitmans. You need the whole picture. I stupidly told Joan about the book idea the other day, and now she keeps insisting that she doesnāt want me to write about her. āGo ahead, tell the story, just keep me out of it,ā sheāll say, and then sheāll remind me of the time she ran the Boston Marathon, or the time she won the regional womenās amateur open tennis championship.
āWhitās marriage was over when we got together. People forget that,ā sheāll announce suddenly, as if I had asked. āIn any event, if youāre going to write about me at all, I think itāll give a more rounded perspective if you include the fact that I went to Princeton.ā
āOkay, well, Iām really focusing on Whit now,ā I told her the other day after she offered another writing prompt involving her triumphant goal in a field hockey match sometime in the 1970s.
āWhit? What on earth has Whit got to do with it? He was already dead when Spin met Laurel.ā
I donāt leave our property in the day much anymore, but when I do, I stay close to home. I often walk in the woods. I like wooded paths. I like the dark. I can go anywhere in the dark, I just donāt go to strange outdoor places during the day very often. Fields, roads, parking lots, open places like that make me anxious. Vast indoor areas like shopping centers are tricky because of all the people, but at least there you can grab a wall or a railing or something. In open outdoor places, thereās nothing you can hold on to, nothing to anchor you to the earthās surface. I was always a homebody, a āhouse mouse,ā as Whit used to say. I think itās just part of my nature, but over time itās gone from a quirk to something more.
Three summers ago, not long after Whit died, I stood on the town beach of this lake one afternoon and was suddenly undone by its vast, yawning strangeness. I think thatās when I first got this sense of needing to grab hold of something. The ground would have been fine. If I could have crawled back to my bicycle from the lakeās edge, I would have. But there were people at the beach, watching me with all their eyes. I walked away slowly, looking down, each footstep placed deliberately, heel-toe, heel-toe, so as not to scuttle sidelong before the entire group like a crab with no shell. I walked back to the cool shade of the tree where my bike was resting. Once I caught my breath, I pedaled home.
Another thingāI donāt drive, but Iāve always been able to ride my bike on roads that I wouldnāt dream of walking along, especially during the day. Of course, at night, itās different. I can ride anywhere at night, as long as the weatherās not too cold.
Joan says I need to learn to adapt. I think sheās wrong. I think my problem is that Iām too adaptable. Have you ever seen a large cat fold itself into a tiny shoe box? Or the way a bat wraps its vast wings around its torso until itās no bigger than a prune? A grown rat can squeeze through a hole the size of a dime. Iām like that. Iām like a contortionist that way. I must have softer bones than most people. I can deflate myself into the tiniest recesses and be quite comfortable there.
āItās a beautiful day, Charlotte,ā Joan said this morning. āWhy donāt you go outdoors and enjoy the nice weather?ā
I donāt have to go out to know that itās a beautiful day. I donāt have to walk on the grass to feel it cool and damp beneath my feet. We had a thunderstorm an hour ago, and the lake is almost black. In a moment, the light will shift and itāll be steely and blue. I donāt need to go out to know that; I can see the weather from here. Now the evenings are getting warmer. Iāll be able to walk down to the lake in the moonlight tonight. Iāll watch my legs sawn off at the ankles, calves, knees, and finally the thighs as I wade into the dark water. When Iām cut off at the waist, Iāll lie back and float like a spirit. I swim only at night now.
TWO
Not everybody has heard of Laurel AtwoodāI have to keep reminding myself of that. Not everybody watches reality TV and reads tabloids. The funny thing is, when we first met Laurel, she acted as if she had never watched TV or read anything but booksāimportant books, important literary works, as she liked to call them. And she didnāt read magazines like everybody else. She read quarterlies. She was a writer. She had just gotten her MFA from USC and had received a six-figure advance for her first novel. Her agent had sent the publisher one chapter and an outline. That was all they needed.
Her accomplishments didnāt sound so far-fetched when we first heard about themāthe book deal, the training for the Olympic ski team, all before her twenty-seventh birthday. Of course, we didnāt learn about everything at once. Laurel has a way of unveiling herself little by little. I think she tried to give herself a more human scale that way. Spin was always like that, too, before he met Laurel, but his motives were the opposite of hers. He wouldnāt tell people about his accomplishments because he didnāt want people to envy him. Laurel does.
Kindness always came naturally to Spin. He got that trait from his father. Whit was actually a very kind man, but he could come off a little gruff if you didnāt know him. Iād known him since I was two years old. Thatās when he and my mother got together. Of course, I didnāt really understand what was going on between them at first. Apparently, no one did. They somehow managed to keep it a secret for over a year. But in the summer of 1988, just before he turned forty, Whi...