§1
A blurred face swam at the end of a tunnel. Croaked like a frog.
āIs that it?ā said Troy.
āIs that what?ā said his sister.
āIt, dammit, it. I mean the danm thing cost seventy guineasāis that as good as it gets?ā
The man in overalls, crouching behind the set, twiddling with a screwdriver, looked over the top.
āItās in its infancy, you know. You canāt expect it to look like the Gaumont, now can yer?ā
The face swam fishily, rippling like a mustachioed and unwelcome mirage. Troy recognised him. Gilbert Harding. A figure made by the new medium, a tele-pundit, a man with an opinion on everything, and quite probably the most famous ex-copper in the land.
āI thought we invented television years ago,ā Troy went on irritably. āI thought we led the world in this sort of thing. I thought it was like radar. The stuff of boffins. Barnes Wallis, Logie Baird and all those chaps.ā
āItās your own fault,ā said Masha. āIf youād got one for the Coronation like everyone else, itād be fine by now.ā
āYouāre not saying it takes three years of fiddling and twiddling to get it right?ā
āWell,ā she said, āSort of.ā
āThen I donāt want it. Take it back.ā
Gilbert Harding stopped wobbling. Troy could hear him clearly for the first time.
āAm I right in thinking youāre in the pottery industry?ā
Applause. A voice off-screen said an utterly unnecessary āyesā.
āAm I right in thinking youāre a saggar-makerās bottom knocker?ā
More applause. A third voice broke in, and the camera cut to a big, curly-headed man with a tough, if pleasing, boxer-like face, smiling genially at an embarrassed nonentity who had at some point thought it would be fun to waste thirty minutes letting four people in evening dress guess his occupation. It struck Troy as being bizarre in the extreme.
The telephone rang and saved Troy from throwing out the chap in overalls or physically assaulting his sister. Life with the goggle-box, he concluded, was not going to be easy.
āThe Branch want to see you,ā Onions said.
āI donāt work for the Branch.ā
āFor Christās sake, Freddie, knock it off.ā
āStan, I donāt have to work for thoseāā
āTwo of their blokes were killed today,ā Onions said bluntly.
Troy weighed this up momentarily. Carrot or stick? āYou mean murdered?ā
āNo. Car crash on theA3.ā
āThen I donāt see what itās got to do with us.ā
āIt leaves them short. They say they need you.ā
āWhy?ā
āNot over the phone, Freddie.ā
Troy sighed. He hated this pretence of hush-hush, as though anyone other than Special Branch would be tapping a phone line in England. All the same, if theyād asked for him by name he was intrigued.
āJust see them,ā Onions said. āYou donāt have to commit yourself to anything. Just hear them out.ā
It was an hourās drive to Scotland Yard down the Great North Road. Troy was due three more days holiday, but the drive into London had the added draw that it would free him from the attentions of his sisters, who had talked him into buying the goggle-box and would doubtless waste a whole evening talking him through their favourite programmes. If this guessing game were anything to go by, the damn contraption could be stuck in the servantsā hall the minute the sisters left and he need never be bothered with it again. By the time they next suffered a misdirected bout of maternal concern for him, some other fad would have taken its place.
§2
Troyās Bullnose Morris had expired in 1952 at the age of seventeen. He did not want another. He had liked the car. He had even appreciated the mockery it had elicited in its tattier latter years, but he did not want another. For the first time since the death of his father in 1943 he had blown a portion of his inheritance on an incontrovertible indulgenceāa five-litre, six-cylinder Bentley Continental Saloon with Mullinerās sports bodywork. Long, stylish and fiercely raked at the blunt end, it was a car in a thousand and, as all who knew him had pointed out, utterly un-Troy. The pleasure it gave him to deny familiarity beggared description.
He had the door open and was flinging his old leather briefcase onto the passenger seat when the other sister appeared. Sasha was drifting aimlessly in the spring twilight, clutching a handful of bluebells, humming tunelessly to herself as she approached the drive from the pig pens Troy had built at the bottom of the kitchen garden. She seemed to be in a very different mood from her twin. They read each other as though by telepathy but there appeared to be no rule in twindom that said they should think or feel alike at any one moment. When they did, of course, it was hell for those around themātwo bodies with but a single personality, thought and purpose. Sasha was in meditative whimsy, Troy thought.
āOff so soon?ā she said.
āThe Yard,ā muttered Troy, hoping this would suffice to kill the conversation.
āThat Old Spotās turned out to be beauty. Are you going to have her put to the tup this month?ā
āI think you only call them tups if theyāre sheep.ā
Sasha thought about this as though it were some great revelation, startling to contemplate and worth hours of harmless fun. Troy sat in the driverās seat and reached for the door, but she put her hand across the top of the frame and emerged from reverie.
āOh well . . . are you going to get her fucked by a daddy pig then?ā
āGoodnight, Sasha.ā
She let go of the door.
āGoodnight, Freddie.ā
Troy slipped the car into first and let it purr slowly down the drive, the crunch of gravel under-wheel louder than the engine. In his rearview mirror he could just make out Sasha sitting on the steps of the house gazing idly at the moon. He rounded the row of beech trees at the head of the drive and could see her no more. The way ahead was clear, he eased out of the gates and set the Bentley racing south towards the London road.
§3
Onions was waiting in Troyās office, perched on the edge of the desk, back to the door, staring out at the moonlit Thames. He was often to be found this way. As Superintendent in charge of the Murder Squad he had developed the habit of office-hopping. Never, in Troyās recollection, had Onions once summoned him to his own office. He would drop in, unexpected, uninvited and on occasion unwelcome, at any time of the day and expect to be briefed, or else Troy would arrive to find him hunched over the gas fire pulling on a Woodbine, or as now, watching the river flow. Almost idly, it seemedābut it never was. Onions learned every secret in his squad by rooting around with his nose to the ground. He was adept at reading documents upside down as he talked to you across the desk, and Troy had long ago learnt to leave nothing much lying around unless he felt happy with Onions reading it. Becoming Assistant Commissioner had not changed his habits. Meetings were always held in someone elseās office, information was still gleaned in this haphazard fashion. Troy returned the compliment. On days when he knew Onions was out he would go through his desk, as surely as Onions did his. The result: they had no secrets, except for the secret that they had no secrets.
Onions was bristling. A glimmer of something unknown played about him.
āGood,ā he said simply as Troy walked in. āGood, good.ā
Troy took the mood for excitement. Something as yet unspoken was giving him a great sense of anticipation, quite possibly great pleasure. He slipped off the desk. Troy heard the thick, black beetle-crusher boots clump on the floorboards. Onions slid his palms across the stubble that passed for a haircut, as though neatening that which did not exist to be neatened in the first place, and smiled. Troy slung his briefcase onto a chair and stuck his hands in his coat pockets, the merest hint of petulance and defiance in his posture.
āAre you going to tell me what this is about, Stan? Or do I have to guess?ā
āTed Wintrinchamās waiting for us in his office right now. Why donāt you give it half a moā and let him tell you.ā
Troy had no idea what to make of this.
āWhy?ā
āāCos I think it might amuse you.ā
āAha.ā
āOh yes, laddie. In fact, if it strikes you as being half as funny as it strikes me, youāll be a basket case in ten minutes.ā
āStan, Special Branch are about as funny as Jimmy Wheelerās rice pudding joke.ā
āTell me later. When youāve heard Wintrincham.ā
He smiled in a roguish way that was almost out of character. It seemed from the barely suppressed grin that Onions himself might corpse at any moment. He led off along the corridor. As they mounted the stairs to Wintrinchamās office, Troy fished.
āWho died in the car crash?ā
āHerbert Boyle, and his sergeant. Young chap name of Briggs. Did you know āem?ā
āI didnāt know Briggs. I knew Boyle. It was hard not to.ā
āAye. You could never say he didnāt speak his mind.ā
āYou could never say he wasnāt the most unconscionable bastard ever to walk the earth,ā said Troy.
ā...