You’re Gonna Die Alone (& Other Excellent News)
eBook - ePub

You’re Gonna Die Alone (& Other Excellent News)

  1. 264 pages
  2. English
  3. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  4. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

You’re Gonna Die Alone (& Other Excellent News)

About this book

A refreshingly honest, wonderfully humorous, and entirely inspiring exploration of change, fear, and what it really means to be alone, from everyone's favorite TikTok oracle, Devrie Donalson.

Dear Reader Just Doing Your Best,

Give me a minute, and I'll tell you a story.

I'll tell you about my junior high soulmate, my haunted house, and running away to Scotland to lose my virginity. I'll tell you about my ardent belief in the power of cheese and the goodness of pigeons, the rules for attending my funeral, and my struggle to reconcile feminism with Brazilian bikini waxes. I'll tell you about my greatest failures and the many ways I have suffered because of my fear. I'll tell you about my greatest triumphs and exactly how I figured out how to be a person I'm proud of.

If you've ever felt the visceral fear of being abandoned or the anxious anticipation of change, you might find something here like hope or validation. If you've ever wondered if you had it in you to start over, or if you've found yourself questioning what you've always believed, you might find a road map to navigating both.

I can't say I know a lot, but my life has been one of many lessons. The wisdom I have managed to collect while the universe desperately chased me down, clobbering me with things to learn while I scurried around like an oblivious rat in search of abandoned street pizza, I happily share with you now.

What I hope you find in these pages is a little laughter, a little healing, and permission to be okay. I hope you find the courage to embrace change and the sudden joy of believing you have always, always been enough. Above all and against all odds, from one pizza rat to another, I hope you feel seen.

Sincerely,
DD

Information

Year
2023
eBook ISBN
9798212186476
Print ISBN
9798212877114
9798212613361

Table of contents

  1. Cover
  2. Subscribe
  3. praise for you’re gonna die alone (& other excellent news)
  4. Title Page
  5. Copyright
  6. Dedication
  7. Contents
  8. read this first (seriously)
  9. a quick but important note
  10. I think it’s time
  11. furbys, beanie babies & other nasty lies
  12. Edinburgh
  13. scotland, grief & the vibrator in my grandma’s garage
  14. Hear Me, My Love
  15. an ode to cheese & those born hungry
  16. we deserve better supervillains than a dude named jeff
  17. Not Nice
  18. intimidating women & fear boners
  19. Bitter Ink
  20. rejection, failure & the end of the world
  21. Whisky Girl
  22. everything i learned from being in love
  23. notes from an amateur anthropologist: tinder
  24. Brother
  25. portrait of a good man
  26. am i still a good person if i keep waxing my pubes?
  27. Poems about Self-Love
  28. the righteous anger of the swindled & starving
  29. Haunted Hallways
  30. my roommate’s mother’s ghost
  31. Such a Pretty Face
  32. we’ve been working for free & we don’t even get dental
  33. affirmations for people just doing their best
  34. Satellites
  35. change is constant, karen’s on a vespa & we need to get on board
  36. twenty-nine-year-three-hundred-and-sixty-four-day-and-twenty-two-hour-old virgin
  37. Loose Hands
  38. so you auditioned for the leading lady & you got cast as the cow
  39. Flowers to the Hilltop
  40. heart surgeons, grizzly bears & the horrible, stubborn
  41. a messy bitch’s guide to letting go
  42. what if no one remembers me?
  43. This Healing Business
  44. outer space, felonies & the delicate magic of zooming out
  45. Unremarkable
  46. who wants to share their testimony? who wants to face who they’ve been?
  47. Clementine
  48. you’re gonna die alone
  49. Closure
  50. emo kids, daffodils & microdosing tragedy as a practice in survival
  51. Self-Portrait
  52. in defense of pigeons: the case for mercy
  53. Poem for a Child
  54. the most powerful question in the world
  55. Bad Habits
  56. a confession to my lover (should i ever find you)
  57. Little Girls
  58. to my mother’s inner child
  59. It Was Good Enough for Me
  60. instructions for my funeral
  61. Meet me in the garden . . .
  62. where you gonna go from here?
  63. everything the kids should know
  64. Notes
  65. Acknowledgments
  66. About the Author
  67. Subscribe

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