
- 304 pages
- English
- ePUB (mobile friendly)
- Available on iOS & Android
About this book
THE INSTANT SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
'Brutally honest as well as poetic' DOLLY ALDERTON
'Necessary, urgent and totally original' AFUA HIRSCH
'Intimately life-affirming . . . tackles enormously complex questions' CALEB FEMI
Someone once asked me how I'd want to be remembered.
I said, 'As the boy who grew.'
Diagnosed with ADHD as a child, Jordan Stephens found his teens and twenties to be a whirl of career success and nurturing friendships but also a brutal pattern of self-harm, hedonism, destructive coping mechanisms and heartbreak. When he tried to live up to his own damaged expectations and his world exploded, he allowed himself to explore the pain he'd repressed his entire life.
Unsparingly digging into the fear, tenderness and trauma, Jordan Stephens discovers what it means to be a modern man and how the price we pay for love, in all its forms, is worth it.
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Information
Table of contents
- Cover
- Title Page
- Dedication
- Copyright
- Contents
- Preface
- 1. Wired
- 2. My Mum Killed Our Neighbourâs Dog
- 3. A Year After I Fucked Up: Part One
- 4. Six Months Before I Fucked Up
- 5. Five Months Before
- 6. Four Months and Three Weeks Before
- 7. Two Weeks After It Happened
- 8. A Young Father
- 9. The Mourning After
- 10. Removal
- 11. Punching Custard
- 12. Who Am I to You?
- 13. The Corners of the Painting
- 14. A Week After
- 15. When It Happened
- 16. Three Weeks After
- 17. Canât Escape Yourself
- 18. Shock Resistance
- 19. The Body Never Lies
- 20. Fear
- 21. Touched by the Other Side
- 22. âToo Depressed for Eastern Medicineâ
- 23. When One Door Closes
- 24. Cutting Ties
- 25. The Power
- 26. The Emergency Spiritual Intervention
- 27. The Mandy Interlude
- 28. Well Done for Being a Prick
- 29. Suzy
- 30. Amalie
- 31. Feels Different When You Say It Out Loud
- 32. The Bridge to Love
- 32A. Smoky Father
- 33. That Boy Shit
- 34. A Year After What Happened: Part Two
- 35. The Right Kind of Anger
- 36. Manuka
- Moulting â Exclusive Extra Chapter for the Paperback Edition
- Acknowledgements