Today I Left the House

Diary of a First-Time Mom

Sarah M. White

• Publisher: Resource Publications
• Year: 2024
• Print ISBN:
  9798385200092
  9798385200108
• eBook ISBN:
  9798385200115
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Social Science Biographies
• Index: Literature

Today mothers at church smile at me in the hallway; they can see I'm a coresident in the land of sacrifice and wonder. Stepping into motherhood can feel like entering an entirely new world without ever leaving home. In Today I Left the House, Sarah White shares a beautifully real journey through pregnancy, childbirth, and the early days of life with a newborn. With the elegance of poetry and the openness of memoir, White's writing draws readers into the inner scenery of a new mother as she navigates the space between who she was and who she's becoming. White's reflections--raw, tender, and full of truth--offer glimpses into the small victories, uncertainties, and deep feelings that come with bringing new life into the world. With each page, she reminds readers that these experiences, while deeply personal, are shared by many. For anyone standing on the doorstep of motherhood, Today I Left the House is a gentle companion, encouraging them to trust their instincts and embrace the unknowns on the other side of the door. This book is an invitation to step inside--to walk through.

Table of contents

• Title Page
• I met my husband Caleb
• I first wanted a baby
• In my first adult life
• Since Caleb and I like
• At my baby shower
• I decided to take a break
• “Hey, Caleb, wake up.”
• While Caleb drove
• We checked into the birth suites
• After they decided
• While we waited in early labor
• I brought charts and markers
• I chose nitrous oxide
• “I need a break,”
• I waited for the wave,
• The resident sat calmly
• The nurse at our birth class had said,
• The nurses put eye salve on her eyes,
• We were in shock
• My mother arrived.
• Caleb slept beside me.
• Feeding my baby
• Every nurse tried
• We left the hospital
• The first time pumping
• You’re so cute.
• We took baby to the doctor
• One night when she woke
• When unwrapped from her swaddle
• Today I left the house.
• My list of fears was lengthy:
• Around the fifth day
• At baby’s bilirubin check-up,
• “Come on. Please latch.
• On a drizzly day we took baby
• On the evening of my birthday
• In the ER waiting room
• The nurse led us to a room
• Around eleven p.m., the ER doctor
• Later, the ER doctor returned:
• I woke up on the fourth floor.
• Whenever the shift changed
• I pumped on the edge
• Since I couldn’t sit or stand
• Our friends stopped by
• “You have mastitis,”
• “My baby still isn’t latching,” I told the consultant.
• The final hurdle was
• All I want to do
• I was home,
• The headache faded.
• Newborns open social doors;
• My mom’s parents
• The first time she latched
• The A/C broke the next day.
• Dream scene one:
• Before I had the baby
• I completed all my follow-ups at once:
• My grandma called again,
• It’s a six-hundred-
• On road trip day one,
• The night before the service
• Babies
• Teach us to number our days
• A white canopy blocked the Memphis heat.
• I never heard
• Caleb went to Dubai for work
• In week seven
• At my appointment with the general surgeon,
• At the two-month baby check-up,
• Tired is when
• Every Sunday night, I envied Caleb.
• At the follow-up breast ultrasound,
• When anyone asks me,
• I was breastfeeding on the couch
• I finished feeding the baby
• It’s been twelve weeks
• Dear Mrs. White,
• “I tried to push it off
• I knew the biopsy wouldn’t be
• The next morning was the first
• After we got home from group
• Clinical staff called
• The next day at the surgeon’s office
• In the middle of the night
• When I saw the surgeon again,
• At fifteen weeks
• One night looking through photos,
• At an evening service
• I carted baby across town
• Today mothers at church
• She is one.
• Ten days later,