Shrinkage

Manhood, Marriage, and the Tumor That Tried to Kill Me

Bryan Bishop, Adam Carolla

• Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books
• Year: 2024
• Print ISBN: 9781250039842
• eBook ISBN: 9781466835337
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Medicine Biographies
• Index: Social Sciences

A New York Times bestseller!
An Amazon Best Books of 2014 selection
"If you're reading this, it means I'm already dead. Just kidding."
In 2009, at thirty years old, Bryan Bishop's life was right on track. Known to millions as "Bald Bryan," the sidekick and soundman on the record-setting podcast, The Adam Carolla Show, his radio career was taking off. He was newly engaged. Then, he and his fiancée Christie were delivered a crushing blow when he was diagnosed with a brain stem glioma—an inoperable brain tumor. Suddenly Bryan's promising future was transformed into a grueling schedule of radiation and chemotherapy while facing his mortality.
In this poignant narrative that is alternately heartbreaking and hysterical, Bishop shares the surreal experiences of writing his will with the bravado of a pulp novelist, taking chemo in a strip club, and (technically) the closest he ever got to achieving his lifelong dream of a threesome—when a physical therapist had to show his wife how to bathe him in the shower during his weakened state.
Whether recounting his search for the most aggressive form of treatment, how radiation treatment jeopardized his ability to (literally) walk down the aisle or even smile for his wedding photos, or recalling the time his wife inadvertently drugged him in a pool in Maui, Bishop's inimitable voice radiates through his story.
As the author celebrates how treatment shrunk his tumor and gave him a new lease on life, Shrinkage reveals the resilience of the human spirit—and the power of laughter—during even the darkest times.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Notice
• Dedication
• Contents
• Foreword by Adam Carolla
• Prologue
• 1. Breaking Bald; or, A Not-So-Mini Biography
• 2. Making ADHD Pay; or, How I Turned a Disorder into a Career
• 3. Falling in Love; or, “Will You Stop Talking Please? I’m Trying to Kiss You”
• 4. Signs of Trouble; or, “Christie, I’m Sick”
• 5. Diagnosis; or, “Whatever You Do, Don’t Google Low-Grade Glioma”
• 6. The Worst Phone Call of My Life; or, “Mom and Dad? I Have Some Bad News”
• 7. Telling Adam; or, “So, I Won’t Be Able to Come to Work on Monday…”
• 8. Always Bet on Black; or, Everything I Know, I Learned from Watching Wesley Snipes Movies
• 9. Dr. Black; or, The “Rock” Star Brain Surgeon
• 10. Dr. McHottie and Dr. Redneck; or, The Rest of the Dream Team
• 11. The Worst People I’ve Ever Met; or, My Mount Rushmore of Douche Bags
• 12. Best-Case Scenarios; or, My Trip to the Sperm Bank
• 13. Chemo, Day One; or, A Journey of a Thousand Miles …
• 14. Radiation; or, “I Wonder What She Has?”
• 15. My Feel-Good Playlist; or, “You’ve Got to Pay Your Dues If You Want to Sing the Blues”
• 16. Constipation; or, When the Shit Doesn’t Hit the Fan
• 17. Sobering News; or, Announcing on the Podcast
• 18. Barbara’s House of Healing; or, Alternative Therapies
• 19. “Rock” Bottom; or, The Day We Lost Our Engagement Ring
• 20. My Bachelor Party; or, I Can’t Be the First Guy to Take Chemo in a Strip Club … Can I?
• 21. Lies Doctors Tell You; or, “You’re Going to Feel Like a Million Bucks!”
• 22. Our Wedding; or, Michael Jackson, Simply Red, and Glow Sticks
• 23. Our Honeymoon; or, The Time My Wife Drugged Me at a Kids Pool in Maui
• 24. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying; or, Italy
• 25. My Brother’s Wedding; or, “Stuck in Lodi Again”
• 26. Drew Brees, My Secret Admirer, and Poop; or, My Greatest Regrets
• 27. Physical Therapy; or, Koosh Balls, Crutches, and Brightly Colored Shirts
• 28. “Sleepless Nights” and “Pain”; or, Christie’s Story
• 29. Avastin; or, The Big Gun
• 30. Inpatient Therapy; or, The Closest I Ever Got to a Threesome
• 31. Family Stress; or, Save the Drama for Your Mama
• 32. The Exam of a Lifetime; or, My Next MRI
• 33. “Laughs for Bald Bryan”; or, “Baby, How?!”
• 34. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying; or, Italy
• 35. Razor Blades; or, How a Trip to Costco Became My Most Life-Affirming Moment
• 36. Epilogue; or, Postscript, Afterword, Coda, Dénouement, Etc.
• Notes
• Acknowledgments; or, Thanks, Shout-Outs, Etc.
• About the Author
• Copyright