So You're Going Bald!
eBook - ePub

So You're Going Bald!

  1. 243 pages
  2. English
  3. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  4. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

So You're Going Bald!

About this book


Educational, uplifting, and thoroughly hilarious, this rollicking "bald memoir" is a one-stop guide to appreciating life as you lose your hair, and offers dating, grooming, marriage, sex, and even toupee advice for bald men and the people who claim to love them.
Humorist and comedy television writer Julius Sharpe woke up on 9/11 to his own personal disaster: his hair was falling out. So You're Going Bald is his hilarious odyssey—a tale filled with despair, horror, acceptance, and humor that everyone can relate to, whether you're nineteen or approaching ninety—or are simply bald-curious.

As Julius tells it, going bald is for-real traumatic. Losing his hair preoccupied his days and kept him up Googling every night for five straight years. He suffered in private, but now he's making it his mission that no cue ball will live alone with the agony of hair loss ever again. Sharpe examines what it means to be hairless up top, and walks you through how to look at yourself in the mirror and not want to die. He outlines the three stages of baldness (anger, more anger, even more anger), and volunteers himself as a guinea pig, testing laser helmets, plugs, and toupees. So You're Going Bald is one-part tough love and one-part inspiration . . . the same way that Fran Drescher's Cancer Schmancer inspired a cure for schmancer.

We all know someone who is bald, or going bald, or got their hair cut way too short. In So You're Going Bald, Sharper provides an emotional roadmap for living life in the bald lane, giving voice to what it feels like to know that "grass doesn't grow on a busy street."


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Information

Publisher
Harper
Year
2019
eBook ISBN
9780062859402
Print ISBN
9780062859389

Table of contents

  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Contents
  6. Preface
  7. 1. What the Fuck Is Happening to Me?
  8. 2. I Went Bald on 9/11
  9. 3. Life as a Bald Man and Why It Sucks
  10. 4. How to Get a Personality, and Fast!
  11. 5. What People with Personalities Do
  12. 6. What to Say
  13. 7. How to Look
  14. 8. Glasses
  15. 9. Facial Hair
  16. 10. Plugs, Drugs, and Rugs
  17. 11. Drugs!
  18. 12. A Tale of Toupees
  19. 13. Shaving Your Head
  20. 14. DWB (Dating While Bald)
  21. 15. Sex Robots Are on the Way, and No, They Are Not the Answer
  22. 16. How to Act on a Date
  23. 17. The Sex Decision
  24. 18. Bald Sex (aka B.S.)
  25. 19. Marriage
  26. 20. Bald Man Tips for a Healthy Marriage
  27. 21. Toupee, Part Toupee
  28. 22. Loving Someone Bald
  29. 23. Employing the Bald
  30. 24. Skinspirations
  31. 25. Matthew McConaughey
  32. 26. What Does It All Mean?
  33. 27. Toupee: Threepee
  34. 28. So You Are Bald!
  35. 29. (Kinda) Serious Conclusions
  36. Acknowledgments
  37. About the Author
  38. Copyright
  39. About the Publisher

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