
This Far
My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light
- 256 pages
- English
- ePUB (mobile friendly)
- Available on iOS & Android
About this book
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“A celebration of the healing power of family and dance, Holker’s memoir shows how to heal from tragedy without wrapping everything up in a neat bow.” – Library Journal
In this candid and emotional memoir, Allison Holker opens up about her incredible dance career, her relationship with Stephen “tWitch” Boss, and the resilience that has carried her forward after his death.
Allison Holker was just eighteen when she found fame as a contestant on the reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance. Over the next several years, she had her first child, built a successful career as a professional dancer despite the industry being hostile to working moms, and fell in love with and married fellow dancer Stephen Boss, the former hype man and DJ of The Ellen DeGeneres Show known for his charisma and relentless positivity. Two more children and a wealth of professional opportunities for both Allison and Stephen followed, and the Bosses appeared to be one of the great Hollywood love stories.
Then, in December 2022, Stephen took his own life, leaving Allison to wrestle with unanswered questions, haunting what-ifs, and the heartbreaking realization that Stephen’s infectious joy was hiding pain, addictions, and self-doubt deeper than anyone knew.
For the first time, Allison reveals how she has navigated the emotional and financial aftermath of Stephen’s choice, guided their three children in their grief while managing the outpouring from a well-meaning public, and reopened herself to the next chapter in her professional and personal life. A beacon of hope and comfort for anyone experiencing grief—especially unexpected loss due to suicide—Allison’s story is an honest reflection on the pain of looking back on a complicated life and the resilience required to move into the future.
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Information
Table of contents
- Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Contents
- Prologue
- Chapter 1: Resolve and Resilience
- Chapter 2: Dancing for My Life
- Chapter 3: So You Think You Can Dance
- Chapter 4: My Perfect Angel
- Chapter 5: Stephen
- Chapter 6: One and Only
- Chapter 7: Push It Real Good
- Chapter 8: The Boss Family
- Chapter 9: Baby, Are You Okay?
- Chapter 10: “I Lied. I Lied. I Lied.”
- Chapter 11: What Do We Do Now?
- Chapter 12: Paying Our Respects
- Chapter 13: A Staggering Discovery
- Chapter 14: Lean on Me
- Chapter 15: Home Sweet Home
- Chapter 16: Finding My Voice
- Chapter 17: Moving Forward Step-by-Step
- Chapter 18: New Routines
- Acknowledgments
- Notes
- About the Author