Not a Perfect Fit

Stories from Jane's World

Jane A. Schmidt

• Publisher: She Writes Press
• Year: 2017
• Topic: Social Sciences
• eBook ISBN:
  9781631522079
• Subtopic: Social Science Biographies
• Index: Social Sciences

Not a Perfect Fit is a collection of stories that are laugh-out-loud funny one minute and thought-provoking the next. Stories range from Schmidt’s experience living off-grid as the only English woman in an Amish neighborhood to family trips that are remarkably similar to National Lampoon’s Vacation. Through it all, she manages to rise above the many challenges she faces—inspiring and entertaining her audience along the way. Filled with animal antics, gratitude, mishaps, and madcap adventures, Not a Perfect Fit’s tell-all, single-girl-gone-country, down-home stories give readers permission to laugh and cry—and, most important, to carry on.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Preface
• ADDing Things Up!
• Airport Antics
• Exercising at the County Fair
• A Lesson from Eddi
• Getting Lost with Dad
• A Farmer and His Concubine
• The Dirt on Cleaning
• The White House
• M-I-C-K-E-Y
• The Many Sources of Happiness
• The Long Good-bye
• Backyard Camping with Dad
• Buying Blue Jeans
• Birthday Brows
• Making Hay at Midnight
• Smells Like Trouble
• No Thanks, I’d Rather Walk
• Reflections on Gratitude
• Bringing Home the Ducks
• Highway 61 Revisited
• It’s Just Winter
• Phone Messages from Mom
• Trick or Treat
• One-Way Ticket to an Island
• What Did I Say?
• Becoming Tick Savvy in a Lyme World
• Have Puppies, Will Share
• Meditation Madness
• Hooked!
• Laundry Line
• Central Heating, Amish Style
• Coming Out
• Meeting the Haugruds
• Unwelcome Bathroom Visitor
• Saying the Darndest Things
• Cars and Mascara
• Amish Fire Department
• I Am What I Ham
• Romancing the Crows
• Not a Perfect Fit
• Monkeying Around
• How I Played the Game
• Blackie
• Moses Walks on Water
• Is Less More?
• Plane Jane
• The Eagles Have Landed
• It’s a Small, Small World
• Weighing In
• Blindsided on a Date
• Nighttime Intruder
• Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!
• The Lesson of Falling Again and Again
• Mother-Son Traditions
• Learning Compassion
• Kangaroo Momma
• My Mom and Me
• Ode to Angie
• The Heat Was On
• Vacations, Aliens, and Underwear
• Looking in the Mirror
• Lost and Found
• Telling a Good Fish Story
• Too Close for Comfort
• My Prince Remembered
• All on a Saturday Night
• Ho Ho Ho!
• We’re on Vacation
• Doggone It
• For the Love of a Book
• A Drink by Any Other Name
• Trail Magic
• Summertime Fun
• A Fitting Fit
• Thanksgiving Day Reflections
• The Healing Hike
• The Magic Jar
• No Stopping Me!
• Thigh Management
• Y2K Mix-Up
• New Year’s Revolution
• In-Between Season
• The Skinny on Hiking
• Born on Mother’s Day
• Parasites and Me
• Decades of Goals
• Tomorrow May Be Different
• Neighbors Forever
• Sun Dogs
• In the Quiet after the Storm
• Acknowledgments
• About the Author