Handsome

Stories of an Awkward Girl Boy Human

Holly Lorka

• Publisher: She Writes Press
• Year: 2020
• Topic: Social Sciences
• eBook ISBN:
  9781631527845
• Subtopic: Social Science Biographies
• Index: Social Sciences

As a horny little kid, Holly Lorka had no idea why God had put her in the wrong body and made her want to kiss girls. She had questions: Was she a monster? Would she ever be able to grow sideburns? And most importantly, where was her penis?

The problem was, it was the 1970s, so there were no answers yet.

Here, Lorka tells the story—by turns hilarious and poignant—of her romp through the first fifty years of her life searching for sex, love, acceptance, and answers to her questions. With a sharp wit, endearing innocence, and indelible sense of optimism, she struggles through the awkward years (spoiler: that’s all of them) and discovers that what she thought were mistakes are actually powerful tools to launch her into a magical—and ridiculous—life.

Oh, and she discovers that she can buy a penis at the store, too.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• The Captain of Some Ridiculous Ship
• Off by Just a Little
• The Truth About Cookies
• Isn’t it Good
• Uncle Holly
• Fork Off
• A Legend on My Own Bus
• Thug Life
• Kitchen Window
• The Benefits of Being Tall and Creepy
• Harvest
• What I Didn’t Consider When I Went to Nursing School
• Happy Valentine’s Day
• You’ve Got a Friend
• In Bed With Buck Owens
• Poseur With Casserole
• Hotter, More Intensive Care
• There are Old Men in Oregon Who Pump Your Gas
• Giddy-Up, Pilgrim
• The Wonder of Migration
• When Alligators Attack
• The Simple Comfort of Rocks and Underpants (Just One More Horrifying Event)
• Treasure Hunt
• I Never Said I Was Good at Behavior
• Good Morning, Peacocks!
• Following Your Dreams While Avoiding Acorns
• Interesting Things I Learned When I Broke My Leg
• Halloween and I are not Great Friends
• It’s Important to Have Secure Pants
• Becoming Kate Winslet
• Bowling for Significance
• Abomination vs. the Constitution
• How We Built Things When We Were Children
• Daydream Mercedes Hand Job
• Bedpost Confessions, April 12, 2012
• The Man, The Myth, The Legend
• Loose Change
• Thanks a Lot, Life
• Epilogue
• About the Author