As Long As It's Perfect
eBook - ePub

As Long As It's Perfect

A Novel

  1. 264 pages
  2. English
  3. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  4. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

As Long As It's Perfect

A Novel

About this book

To Janie Margolis, "assistant contractor" sounds like the ideal job for a mom whose role raising kids has become routine?but her perfect plan starts to unravel when she and her husband, Wim, find themselves arguing about everything from money to masonry to man caves. Then the economy collapses, and it's hard to surmount the reality ahead: they are about to sink their entire savings into rebuilding a new house they can't afford while trying unsuccessfully to sell the one they already own. Will Janie back herself so far into a corner that she'll find herself homeless before she finds herself a home? From crushes on contractors to frenzied shopping expeditions to the erection of a cupola that looks a little too phallic for her upscale new neighborhood?or really any neighborhood!?Janie navigates the pitfalls of building. Along the way, she deals with a con artist kitchen designer, a construction worker and architect who fight like schoolgirls, and a tile guy who turns her shower into a pornographic work of art, all while struggling to stay out of debt and keep her marriage going. In the end, she comes face to face with her flaws and learns that dreams can be achieved?but the only way to authentic happiness is through truth and acceptance.

Information

Publisher
She Writes Press
Year
2019
eBook ISBN
9781631526251
Subtopic
Women in Fiction

Table of contents

  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue: My First House
  6. Chapter 1: Fencing with the Neighbors
  7. Chapter 2: Love on a Dock
  8. Chapter 3: Keeping up with the Everybodys
  9. Chapter 4: Where in the World?
  10. Chapter 5: Hershey’s Bars
  11. Chapter 6: Finding Lexington
  12. Chapter 7: Ready for Takeoff
  13. Chapter 8: Smells Like Poo
  14. Chapter 9: Lipstick and Speed Stick
  15. Chapter 10: Don’t Touch my Moustache
  16. Chapter 11: We Want It All
  17. Chapter 12: Peeing at Versailles
  18. Chapter 13: Wanted: Kick-Ass Kitchen
  19. Chapter 14: Up in Flames
  20. Chapter 15: Conspicuous Construction
  21. Chapter 16: A Rough Start
  22. Chapter 17: Grandma’s Dill Pickles
  23. Chapter 18: Bullets and Dummies
  24. Chapter 19: Hurt and Stupid
  25. Chapter 20: Wim and the Hoe
  26. Chapter 21: Of UFOs And Penises
  27. Chapter 22: Out of Balance
  28. Chapter 23: My Little Black Book
  29. Chapter 24: Double Fudge Sundae
  30. Chapter 25: Scones and Sconces
  31. Chapter 26: Almost Arousing
  32. Chapter 27: Looking for Mr. Potato Head
  33. Chapter 28: Tommy
  34. Chapter 29: Meeting Behind Closed Doors
  35. Chapter 30: I Want More Sparkle
  36. Chapter 31: The World is Falling Apart
  37. Chapter 32: Naked and Exposed
  38. Chapter 33: Suburban Peepshow
  39. Chapter 34: Getting Carried Away
  40. Chapter 35: Adam and Eve
  41. Chapter 36: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
  42. Chapter 37: Take the Money and Run
  43. Chapter 38: Romancing the Stone
  44. Chapter 39: What If? What If? What If?
  45. Chapter 40: Erect-Tile Dysfunction
  46. Chapter 41: Now What?
  47. Chapter 42: A Brand-New Fuzzy and Wuzzy
  48. Chapter 43: Sick with Fear
  49. Chapter 44: Love on a Sawhorse
  50. Author’s Note
  51. Acknowledgments
  52. About the Author

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