Growing Your Own Turtleneck…and Other Benefits of Aging

Martha Bolton

• Publisher: Bethany House Publishers
• eBook ISBN:
  9781441211118
• Year: 2005

Whether Martha Bolton is contemplating whether or not there will be carbs in heaven or why she's growing her own turtle neck, she'll leave readers laughing out loud as they recognize the truth in her hilarious take on aging. Her fans crave each chapter just as they crave one more piece of chocolate. This veteran comedy writer adds occasional touching and poignant stories that remind readers what life is all about.

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• 1. It’s Only Right
• 2. Midnight at the Oasis
• 3. The Five People You Meet in a Buffet Line
• 4. Last Breaths and Country Music
• 5. We B Bussin’
• 6. Ideal Destinations for the Menopausal Traveler
• 7. Death by Fashion
• 8. Is There a Doctor in the House?
• 9. Medical Definitions for the Middle-Aged Patient and Beyond
• 10. New Prescription Medicines for Middle-Aged Patients
• 11. What Are They Doing Now?
• 12. Computer Signs for the Middle-Ager and Beyond
• 13. Gravity (Parody of ‘‘Yesterday’’)
• 14. Let’s Leave My Brain Out of This
• 15. I Hereby Bequeath
• 16. Today’s Weather for the Menopausal Woman
• 17. The Face-Lift-of-the-Month Club
• 18. Top 20 Countdown for Middle-Agers and Beyond
• 19. Middle-Age Evolution
• 20. Growing My Own Turtleneck
• 21. Season’s Greetings
• 22. Life in Reality
• 23. The Older We Get
• 24. The Grandmother of Invention
• 25. Dreaming Your Life Away
• 26. Mind Games
• 27. Alma Maters Matter
• 28. Of All Places
• 29. Social Security
• 30. What’s in Your Pocket?
• 31. Tattoo to You, Too
• 32. It’s All Downhill From Here
• 33. That Settles It
• 34. Relaxation Island
• 35. Tuesdays With Metamucil
• 36. Thanks, But No Thanks
• 37. Retirement Community
• 38. Road Signs for the Middle-Ager and Beyond
• 39. Welcome Mat
• 40. Not Looking Back
• 41. Vote for Who?
• 42. On Purpose
• 43. How to Have a Happy Birthday
• 44. Without You