How to Test Negative for Stupid
eBook - ePub

How to Test Negative for Stupid

And Why Washington Never Will

  1. English
  2. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  3. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

How to Test Negative for Stupid

And Why Washington Never Will

About this book

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

One of the most distinctive and funny politicians, Senator John Kennedy (the one from Louisiana)—hailed by Politico as “America’s most quotable Senator”—offers his perceptive (and hilarious) takes on the ridiculousness of political life in this scathingly witty takedown of Washington and its elite denizens.

How to Test Negative for Stupid offers the Senator’s tongue-in-cheek guidebook through Washington, punctuated by his thoughts on various issues and humorous stories about life from Louisiana politics and inside the Senate.

From the mind—and mouth—of "America's Most Quotable Senator":

  • “Always be yourself . . . unless you suck.”
  • “I say this gently: This is why the aliens won’t talk to us.”
  • “If you trust government, you obviously failed history class.”
  • “I believe that our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots.”
  • “Always follow your heart . . . but take your brain with you.”
  • “I’m not going to Bubble Wrap it: The water in Washington, D.C., won’t clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.”
  • “I have the right to remain silent but not the ability.”
  • “Common sense is illegal in Washington, D.C., I know. I’ve seen it firsthand.”
  • “I believe that we are going to have to get some new conspiracy theories. All the old ones turned out to be true.”

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Table of contents

  1. Dedication
  2. Contents
  3. Introduction
  4. One: A Day in the Life of a U.S. Senator
  5. Two: Home Sweet Home
  6. Three: My First Job in Government
  7. Four: Running
  8. Five: An Education
  9. Six: Sweet Victory (Took Long Enough)
  10. Seven: New in Town
  11. Eight: Holding the Line
  12. Nine: Two Wrongs
  13. Ten: Speed Round
  14. Epilogue
  15. Acknowledgments
  16. About the Author
  17. Copyright
  18. About the Publisher

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