The Real Jeeves

The Cricketer Who Gave His Life for His Country and His Name to a Legend

Brian Halford

• Publisher: Pitch Publishing
• Year: 2013
• eBook ISBN: 9781909626010
• Edition: 0

The Real Jeeves tells the story of a young cricketer whose glorious life was snuffed out, but whose name will live forever. Plucked from country-house cricket, all-rounder Percy Jeeves was to outshine the Golden Age's greats over two seasons with Warwickshire, clean bowling Jack Hobbs, hitting Wilfred Rhodes for six, and outclassing England captain Plum Warner. In September 1914, Jeeves bowled Warwickshire to victory over champions Surrey. It was his 50th first-class match—and his last. The Real Jeeves traces Percy's life from idyllic childhood via county cricket into the nightmare of war. Excerpts from battalion diaries detail the horrors of the Western Front, and ultimately his demise on the Somme. Yet Percy Jeeves' name lived on thanks to P. G. Wodehouse, who saw him play at Cheltenham in 1913 and was so impressed he noted the name for a character who shared the modest Yorkshireman's immaculate conduct and appearance.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Foreword by DENNIS AMISS (former Warwickshire and England cricketer)
• Foreword by MILES JUPP (actor, comedian and writer)
• Foreword by KEITH MELLARD (great nephew of Percy Jeeves)
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• 1: A four-in-hand – Prevention of Singing Act – The Grasshoppers spring into life – Superhuman subtlety
• 2: Jeeves takes eight – Perils of the light railway – Purvis’s manly chest – It is resolved to lynch the secretary
• 3: Poor circumstances – A move to Sleepy Hollow – Under William Appleyard’s wing – Featherstone slag
• 4: “He sent down pure piffle” – The young express bowler – Right-back for Swinefleet – Train trouble
• 5: “Weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth” – The ominous cognomen of Duck – Mr Baker’s XI – The Gentlemen bat with broomsticks
• 6: A wrecked wicket – The 1880 Wild Birds Act – Jeeves ponders his future – Doncaster Plant Works
• 7: Athletic News – Professional at Hawes – Trial for Yorkshire – R.V. Ryder cuts himself shaving
• 8: Ground duties at Edgbaston – S. Blanks becomes the first – Jeeves bowls F.R. Foster – A toast is drunk to ‘The Press’
• 9: The Titanic sinks – Jeeves shines for Moseley – West Bromwich Albion right-half George Baddeley is carried shoulder-high from the field – “The young Yorkshireman is to be heartily congratulated.”
• 10: Herbert Hordern stays at home to concentrate on his dental practice – Jeeves make his debut against Australia – Kelleway edges behind – A perfect roar of applause
• 11: Middle stump a speciality – Seven Nondescripts score nought – Jeeves faces South Africa – Feeble batting, slack fielding, an attack without sting
• 12: 20 all out – Santall takes all ten against Samuel Talboys’s XI – Jeeves fields for five minutes in the County Championship – The Birmingham League champions are routed
• 13: Cold and wet – The Guller wins the Chester Cup – Championship debut at Tipton Road – “Lifeless and depressing in the extreme”
• 14: “A most valuable addition to the team” – The disappearance of a donkey in Southampton – Jeeves dismisses the son of a friend of Charles Dickens – Mead bats brilliantly
• 15: Quaife is barracked – Foster collides with a sideboard – The burden falls upon Jeeves – A ferocious new-ball spell
• 16: A Turkish bath – Gaily decorated tents – Jeeves too good for Woolley – 16 all out
• 17: The raucous regulars at Bramall Lane – “Some inspiring cricket was seen” – Jeeves hits Rhodes for successive sixes – A hero’s reception
• 18: Tedious batting from Makepeace – The suffering of Hastings Post Office – “Is Jeeves over-bowled?” – A broken stump
• 19: 485 runs and 19 wickets in a day – “Deadly bowling by Jeeves” – Yorkshire’s players speak highly of Jeeves’s batting – To Cheltenham
• 20: Asquith vetoes Channel Tunnel scheme – A sea of boaters – Gloucestershire crack open the champagne – P.G. Wodehouse takes note
• 21: A former bricklayer deploys tedious methods – Doll is the 100th – A downpour at twenty past two – Jeeves gets a pay rise
• 22: An interview with Percy Jeeves
• 23: Aston Villa – Chaos in Albania – Fender reaches his 100 with an all-run six – Warwickshire beat Worcestershire by an innings and 371 runs
• 24: Leg-theory – Warner is non-plussed – A sticky dog – Almost unplayable
• 25: Jeeves returns to his roots – Quaife bores 3,307 paying spectators – Assassination in Sarajevo – A bail is carried 41 paces
• 26: The finest cricketers in the world – Gunn tests the crowd’s patience – A brute of a delivery – Jeeves is the talk of English cricket
• 27: Four wickets in four balls – “Armies mobilising” – Jeeves and Foster in deadly tandem – War is declared
• 28: Chapman is commissioned to buy horses – “Your Country Needs You” – ‘Punter’ Humphries is completely baffled – Jeeves and Jaques
• 29: Jeeves bats brilliantly – Jeeves bowls brilliantly – Jeeves fields brilliantly – Jeeves joins up
• 30: Farewell to Edgbaston – Birmingham Pals – Training at Sutton Park – Boldmere Parish Rooms become a lecture theatre
• 31: Back to Wensleydale – Extricating Young Gussie – Service-rifles are issued – Abide with me
• 32: A vile introduction to France – Waist-deep thick liquid-mud – Into the trenches – Christmas Day
• 33: To Arras – “A cold numbness settles upon the limbs” – Jeeves spends his 28th birthday in 24 trench – “Groans and cries were heard”
• 34: “Murderous fire from the enemy” – A perfect summer’s day – Nets strung across the water – B Company is “blown to pieces”
• 35: 1 July 1916 – Jeeves’s last game of cricket – “A vast graveyard with the majority of its occupants exposed to the elements” – “The slaughter going on in Caterpillar Valley”
• 36: The attack begins at dusk – Two companies ‘disappear’ – Strung out in still rows – Percy Jeeves is missing
• 37: A brilliant cricketer – “The summit of fame was death” – The Thiepval Memorial – Reverence and affection
• Appendix
• Photographs