Bears Don't Care About Your Problems

More Funny Shit in the Woods from Semi-Rad.com

Brendan Leonard

• Publisher: Mountaineers Books
• Year: 2019
• eBook ISBN: 9781680512717
• Edition: 0

If you've ever considered the absurdity of sleeping on the ground in a place where bears live, pooping in a bag on a glacier, or trying to teach someone you love a sport that scares them to the point of loudly threatening to kill you in front of strangers, Bears Don't Care About Your Problems will make you laugh. Author and creator of Semi-Rad, Brendan Leonard is part Dave Barry, part Gary Larson, and 100 percent twisted in his own fresh way. The Semi-Rad perspective has become the funny, introspective voice of outdoor Everyman and Everywoman adventurers.

Table of contents

• Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• Foreword by Steve Casimiro
• Introduction
• Make This Year the Year of Maximum Enthusiasm
• Nine Reasons Why You Should Never Bike to Work
• Hopefully This Beer Is Thanks Enough: A Gratitude Scale for Outdoorsfolks
• Review: My Running Shoes
• The Greatest Mountaineering Survival Story Never Told
• The Importance of Being a Lifelong Beginner
• The Importance of Big Dreams
• The Rules for Dating a Dirtbag
• Seven Tips on How to Be a Good Tentmate
• Are You Ready for Your Summit Photo?
• Facts About Climbing Mount Everest
• How to Get Your New Boyfriend/Girlfriend to Hate Your Sport
• Lose Weight Now with the 10,000-Foot Diet
• Make Plans, Not Resolutions
• Please Continue Instagramming Your Amazing Life
• Sometimes You Get a High-Five from the Universe
• The Pure Joy of Fixie Dave
• What’s the Best Rain Jacket?
• Your Best Vacation Is Someone’s Worst Nightmare
• Eleven Ways to Make That Chairlift Ride Awkward
• Do You Have Obsessive Campfire Adjustment Syndrome?
• Don’t Focus on the Dog Shit
• Hiking Is Cool
• Introducing the Heavy Backpack Workout
• It Turns Out You Can Buy Happiness
• The Benefits of Discomfort
• The Definition of Adventure
• The Hierarchy of Camping
• Utahlorado: An Idea for a Mega-State of Awesomeness
• What Story Are You Telling Yourself?
• Ten Tips to Help Lighten Your Backpack
• Thirteen Pieces of Gear Every All-Around Adventurer Should Have
• Anatomy of a Sandbag
• Backpacking Is Sexy
• Here Is a List of Fun Things You Can Do on Your Bicycle
• How to Be a Terrible Adventure Partner
• How to Be Nice to People
• Professional Gear Review: Spoon
• Shout Out to Old Bikes
• The Twelve Types of Bike Commuters
• The Dawn Wall and the Idea of “Wasting Time”
• The Power of a Fear-Based Fitness Plan
• Ten Ways to Talk About Powder Skiing
• Twelve Ways to Make Friends at the Campground
• Five Steps to Ordering a Perfect Coffee—Every Time
• Dear Foam Roller
• F*&# Busy
• How to Pack for a Big Trip
• Love What You Do, Even If You Don’t “Do What You Love”
• On “Fear Disguised as Practicality”
• Out of Office Autoreply: I’m in Nature
• Review: Water Bottle
• The Value of Just Going
• What Ski Pass Are You Getting This Year?
• Ten Basic Rules for Adventure
• Twelve Ways to Help the World Feel Less Hopeless
• Twenty Alex Honnold Facts
• Fifty-Two Pieces of Adventure Advice
• Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems
• Birthdays (and Other Days) Should Be More Like Funerals
• But Did You Really Climb It?
• Dear New Guy at the Climbing Gym
• Find a Way Around—or Through
• Flake on Me Once . . . Actually, Just Don’t Flake
• Honest Climbing Gym Partner Ads
• I Believe in Inertia
• I Gave Up Coffee for Three Months and This Is What I Learned
• I Hate Running
• I Pledge Allegiance to the Grind
• Less Serious Accidents in North American Mountaineering 2017
• The Case for Giving a Shit
• The Coffee Drinker’s Guide to Being Present
• The Shortcut Is: There Is No Shortcut
• What Was That Noise Outside the Tent?
• Happiness Is Your Backyard Trail
• Twenty-Five Things Said That Might Mean You’re Going to Have an Epic
• Complaining Is Useless
• I Must Have My Coffee First Thing in the Morning
• The Gas Tank Is One-Quarter Full, or Three-Quarters Empty
• Acknowledgments
• About The Author