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CHAPTER 1
TRUE TO FORM
This above all; to thine own self be true.
āWilliam Shakespeare
If weād met him as a child, what might you or I have thought of little Al, the dreamer? A thoughtful kid and reluctant talker who used to repeat sentences quietly to himself, Al was viewed by many as somewhat dull. He didnāt conform well to the structure and discipline of primary school; struggled with the quick, automatic responses prized in this educational atmosphere; and never excelled in memorizing words, texts, and names, so his teachers considered him only moderately talented. One particularly harsh Greek teacher predicted that Al would never get anywhere. And he did in fact fail the entrance exam at the polytechnic institute where he aimed to study.
Those dearest to him recognized his differences as well: Alās sister and closest friend described him as calm, dreamy, and slowā although at once self-assured and determined. And his own parents were so concerned about Alās slow progress with language that they consulted a doctor on the matter. But his mother was ambitious and encouraged her sonās self-reliance, and his father provided a sound counterbalance of a comforting, supportive environment where Al could develop his own personality.1
So what happened to him? Little Albert Einstein grew up to be a giant in the field of physics. Although he never excelled in basic math, his creative imagination was the natural strength that allowed him to make great scientific leaps, like recognizing that light waves must bend as they pass a planetās gravitational field. A key to Einsteinās success was the fact that he learned to accept and leverage the unstructured way his mind worked. For example, when he was stumped while working on a complex math problem, he formed the habit of leaving the blackboard and playing his violin. Many times, the solution came to him in the midst of making music.
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And speaking of making things, letās look at Steve. Exacting Steve, who was such an extreme perfectionist that he lived without furniture because nothing he found was just right. As a boss, he was demanding, a micromanager so goal driven that he showed virtually zero empathy toward people. In his determined pursuit of perfection, Steve was often abrasive toward his team, who grumbled that his goals and deadlines were completely unrealistic.
But, as it turned out, they were not impossible. Steveās driven perfectionism led his company to widely acclaimed excellence in product design and development. His blindness to othersā feelings kept him ruthlessly focused on priorities. And his exacting deadlines and micromanagement yielded unimaginable feats of innovation.
He was Steve Jobs, founder and former CEO of Apple. And, although he admitted that his strongest attributes were sometimes his shortcomings as a leader, he also lived according to his strengths, leveraging his gifts into a groundbreaking agile empire that reimagined and permanently altered numerous industries, including personal computing, music, film, retailing, and more.2
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But no one personifies innovation like Tom. Young Tomās teacher described him as mentally confused and muddled; overall, her assessment would probably equate to extreme attention deficit disorder in todayās terms. He was so disruptive in class that he was expelled after a total of three months of schooling. But his expulsion led his mother to homeschool her son, and Tom later credited his success to this education, since she gave him the freedom to exert his creativity.
Throughout his adult life, Tom continued to resist structure and large organizations, and he remained very disorganized. For example, after one of his laboratories burned down, he remembered that heād failed to purchase fire insurance. But despite his challenges, Tom let his creative side soar.
The result? Thomas Edison became a hugely successful inventor, accumulating over 2,300 patents worldwide. His innovations include the phonograph, the movie camera, and a storage battery for an electric carāin addition to a little gadget known as the electric light bulb.3
SEEDS OF A GIFT
Would you plant an apple seed and try to nurture it into an orange tree? No matter what type of fertilizer you used, no matter how carefully you monitored the water and sun, you would never succeed in making that apple seed bear oranges. (Although you may interfere with its ability to produce great apples.)
Human beings are like this. We each have seeds for different types of fruit in us, but too often, we spend our lives trying to become something weāre notāin part because we take our natural gifts for granted, and in part because we spend so much time focusing on what weāre not good at that we lose sight of the ways weāre great.
Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, and Thomas Edison were each built to bear a certain type of fruit, and they didnāt waste their energy trying to become something else. Instead, they unapologetically functioned according to their strengthsāthey focused on augmenting their natural gifts. And they changed the world.
So can you.
Hereās some news that shouldnāt be news at all: Youāre better than you think you are. So is your team. So are those people in your family youāre always harping on. But instead of being better, youāre spending too much time trying to beāwell, something else. Something youāre not built for. Some version of you that you think youāre supposed to be, rather than the best you for which youāre already designed.
Fortunately, you can change this. You can learn and practice tools that nurture your strongest traitsāwhat weāll refer to as power-alley attributes. As you do this, youāll ditch unproductive habits and constructs, and youāll experience what your personal best really feels like.
THE EAGLE AND THE LOON
My wife and I live on a lake where weāre blessed to see beautiful wildlife in our front yard every day: deer and rabbit, mink and fox, herons, loons, and even bald eagles. What a breathtaking sight those eagles areāso grand in scale, so powerful in the air.
But what if I told you that every day an eagle walked out to the end of our dock, tiptoed hesitantly to the edge, and spent the morning doing nosedives into the calm water, trying to improve his swimming skills? Turns out, as heās soaring over our northern lakes at a thousand feet of altitude, using his remarkably sharp eyes to scan the water for shallow-swimming fish, he keeps seeing loons working below him, and heās amazed by their skill in the water.
For those of you less familiar with the North Country, loons are a symbol of pristine northern wilderness lakes, and they are fascinating creatures. You may have heard a recording of their haunting song, which is sure to crop up in any film where a Walden-like lakeside retreat comes into play. But many people donāt know that unlike most flying birds, loons have solid bones that help them dive to depths of up to two hundred feet. The extra weight makes it difficult for them to take off in flight, but it also makes them incredible deep-water fishers.
Impressive, right? Thatās what the eagle thinks. So now, heās spending his days on the end of our dock instead of up in the sky. Heās lamenting his shallow dives, groaning because he doesnāt have those red eyes designed to scan the lakeās darkest depths, and complaining about his underwater lung capacity.
But when the eagleās out soaring on his fishing rounds, the loonās entire family is looking up at him, talking about how great it would be if their loon boy could fly that way. He could hunt the whole lake in a few minutes, swoop down suddenly, surprise his prey, and be gone in seconds, avoiding competitors. Clearly, that eagle has a good thing going. Why doesnāt the loon learn those traits?
This whole thing sounds crazy, right? So hereās my question: Why are we all spending so much time trying to make eagles swim? Why donāt we put more energy into the ways weāre naturally built to be great?
Hereās what I think is crazy: sitting down with a top salesperson for a performance review, only to spend eighty percent of that time discussing how she might improve the accuracy of the expense reports sheās forever struggling with. Thatās eighty percent of a meeting spent telling an eagle to work on her backstrokeāto take time away from flying in favor of fumbling around in the water. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the organization, someoneās asking a gifted administrator to focus on improving his big-picture thinking. And someone else is (yet again) chastising a standout creative on the product-development team for his struggle with follow-through.
What is going on here? Why are we spending so much time focusing on weaknesses and so little time discussing how to leverage those natural strengths? Instead, letās get the eagle back in the air and the loon focused on deep dives. Encourage the exemplary salesperson to close her computer, get face-to-face with prospects, and exceed her new target; invite the detailed administrator to help with those expense reports; and put the creative person in a brainstorming room to focus on imagining the next great innovation worth selling in the first place. Suddenly, everyone wins. Sales are stellar, expenses are accurate and timely, and the company is working on some breakthrough new products.
Thatās the power of attributes.
Now listen: Eagles actually can swim when they need to. But their competence in the water is nothing like their expertise in the air. And loons can fly, but they need up to a quarter mile of water-surface runway to get all that weight in the air. Itās deep diving where they blow the competition away, so thatās what they should (and do) expend the most time and energy on.
We too can fly higher and dive deeper by focusing our energy on the unique talents intrinsic to each of us. These are our natural attributes. Most great success stories start with this approach.
WHATāS AN ATTRIBUTE? (AND WHAT ISNāT?)
An attribute is an inherent trait. Itās a natural characteristic that can greatly influence your perception of and behavior toward the world around you. Think of your attribute profile as the way youāre wiredā the built-in programming of your own internal microchip.
If we were studying physical attributes, we might look at height, eye color, gender, etc.āthings that are easy to see. Such traits affect how we perceive and interact with the world around us. For example, a friend of mine had a son who was six feet eleven inches tall and played in the NBA. When he walked through a house, he ducked at each doorway. But when I asked him about it, he wasnāt even aware of ducking. For him, it was instinctiveālike blinking. Back when he was first outgrowing doorframes, heād only had to hit his head on a few before he learned. The height attribute led to a behavior modification.
The nonphysical attributes weāre studying here can (and usually do) lead to the same thing. Although more hidden from view, these attributes are very real qualities of who we areāat least as definitive, and certainly much more important, than the color of our eyes. Letās look at Lauren, who has a huge dose of empathy (sharing other peoplesā emotions). When talking to someone who has just heard sad news, Laurenās face looks much like that of the person speaking. Tears come. She can feel the other personās pain. She cares, and she hurts. This response is real and naturalālike blinking. Itās an automatic, reflexive reaction. Thatās an attribute.
And therein lies our essential success secret. According to Lewis Schiff, author of Business Brilliant: Surprising Lessons from the Greatest Self-Made Business Icons (New York: HarperBusiness, 2013), ānearly sixty percent of middle-class people strive to get better at tasks they are not good at. Exactly zero percent of high net worth individuals [say] the same.ā4 Of course, Iām not implying that net worth is everyoneās ultimate measure of success; your own unique life vision will determine your goals. But since high net worth often reflects a successful career, itās worth noting that this group claims to invest no time at all in improving on so-called weaknesses.
Just think how often you hear caveats when learning about highly successful people. Walt Disney was a creative visionary whose legendary ideas changed the entertainment industry forever, but he was a completely incompetent artist who couldnāt draw Mickey Mouse if asked.5 John Adams served on more committees in the Continental Congress than any other individual and played a huge role in bringing the United States into existence as a nation, but he was only a mediocre speaker, tended to take offense easily, and was generally regarded as vain.6
The ābutā is always thereāfor every person. Yet for those who become great, itās a side note to the real story. We donāt remember Walt Disney as a poor artist; we remember him as a visionary genius. We donāt look back on John Adams as a touchy guy; we recognize him as a man who helped mold the US democratic system. We remember great men and women for the strengths that they leveraged, not the weaknesses they improved upon.
What if Walt had spent his life trying to figure out h...