Influence Redefined

Be the Leader You Were Meant to Be, Monday to Monday

Stacey Hanke

• Publisher: Greenleaf Book Group Press
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN: 9781626343573
• eBook ISBN: 9781626343580
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

Do you feel confident you're a leader with influence? You may be surprised to discover you're not as influential as you think you are. Your team is only as strong as your influence, and many leaders today are mistaken about what it means to be influential. An outdated influence paradigm, along with technological devices and distractions, is making it increasingly challenging for leaders to reach those they need to influence in order to be successful. In fact, many leaders are unwillingly and unknowingly sabotaging themselves and their influence. In her thought-provoking Influence Redefined, Stacey Hanke introduces her powerful Influence Model, a step-by-step method for improving communication and producing the ideal type of influence—one that moves people to action long after an interaction is over. She dispels the most common influence myths and instructs leaders on how to stop sabotaging themselves in order to leave a positive, lasting impression. Using a results-based definition of influence for individuals and organizations, Hanke successfully shows leaders how they can develop influence as a skill through self-awareness, consistency, a positive reputation, adaptability, and impact.
With insights from dozens of executives and business leaders, as well as practical how-tos and action steps, Influence Redefined will help leaders multiply and expand their influence every day, Monday to Monday®. Through Stacey Hanke, Inc., the author has provided keynotes, mentoring and training on communicating with influence to thousands of leaders across industries. She is the author of Yes You Can! and has appeared in the New York Times and SmartMoney. Hanke was recognized as one of the National Speakers Association's ''Top 6 Under 40.''

CHAPTER 1

IS YOUR INFLUENCE OUTDATED?

The challenge begins with the mistaken belief that how we influenced others in the past still works in today’s world of business.

Let’s go back to Michael, my client who received the gift of feedback from a car-service driver. There is more to his story.

Like I did, you may have wondered if Michael and his company got the contract he was so confident they would win. It turns out the contract was awarded to a different company, a new player in the industry.

When I asked Michael why he thought they didn’t get the business, he said, “I felt like I gave a powerful and persuasive presentation to the client. And I don’t think I lost the deal because of that less-than-stellar phone call with my contact on the way to the airport, although it probably didn’t help.

The business environment has changed dramatically in recent years, yet our understanding of influence hasn’t kept pace with changing times.

“When I followed up with my contact, she said the company they chose didn’t have a significantly better solution, cheaper price or more experienced team,” Michael explained. “She said they just felt more confident in the other organization’s ability to meet their needs.”

Although he didn’t realize it at first, what really happened here was that Michael and his team lacked the influence necessary to close the deal. I share Michael’s story because it’s a powerful example of what many leaders around the country are now discovering: how we have defined influence in the past doesn’t consistently produce results in the new world of business. Michael and his team were playing by the old rules in a new game and still expecting to win.

While we are all aware (perhaps somewhat painfully) that the business environment has changed dramatically in recent years, few recognize that our understanding of influence hasn’t kept pace with changing times:

• Too many leaders still buy into common misconceptions about how we gain influence and what it means to be influential.
• Technology has made it easier for us to communicate, yet much more difficult for us to influence others.
• Good is no longer good enough in a competitive global marketplace.
• In today’s business world, effective leadership requires influence not only in high-stakes situations but Monday to Monday^®.

The prevailing influence paradigm is out of date. The world has changed yet our concept of influence hasn’t. Let’s find out why.

THE THREE MYTHS OF INFLUENCE

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a client say, “I’m influential when I need to be” or “I have influence because I am a [insert any number of executive titles here–CEO, VP, etc.].” If only these sentiments were true. Influence would be so much easier.

Much of our thinking (and therefore our actions) around influence is based on misconceptions and mistaken beliefs. If we want to update our thinking about influence, we first need to address what I call the Three Myths of Influence.

Myth #1: “I feel influential, therefore I am.”

Many people believe that if they feel they are a certain way (such as a good driver or an effective communicator), then it must be true. All too often, leaders mistakenly believe that if they feel influential, then others perceive them the same way. This problem is compounded by the fact that few people are willing to give leaders honest feedback about their influence or lack thereof. As a result, they take their level of influence for granted.

The vice president of sales for a large organization recently told me, “I’ve been doing [sales presentations] a long time. I’m always comfortable. I never get nervous when I present.” I quickly pointed out that comfort doesn’t equal influence!

Just because you feel confident, credible and knowledgeable, and the person sitting across the table from you is nodding his or her head yes, does not mean you are influential. The proof is in the other person’s actions. Will they do what you want them to do–buy your product or service, accept your recommendation, follow your lead?

REALITY: Influence is evidenced by results.

Myth #2: Influence is situational.

Many leaders believe influence is a skill set that can be turned on and off, used only as necessary. We show up for the big event or critical conversation and “turn it on,” meaning we are very conscious of our demeanor, our presence, the words we speak, how we deliver those words, and how we interact with those around us. We turn our influence on for key presentations, sales and creative pitches, board meetings, product launch events, conferences, important meetings or when it’s time to rally the team around a goal.

Outside of these high-stakes events, we tend to turn our influence off. We seem to think it’s not necessary to be influential in our routine, daily interactions–answering the phone, typing out a text or chatting in the hallway. This mindset leads to inconsistent behavior and unpredictable communication between leaders and listeners.

True influence is Monday to Monday^®. There is so much more to influence than showing up and giving a powerful presentation or having a meaningful conversation. Real influence is developed not through a series of one-time events, but rather through the accumulation of our daily actions and interactions.

REALITY: Influence is all the time, in every situation.

Myth #3: Title = Influence.

There is a myth in corporate America that influence comes with a title. We operate under the assumption that the higher our position, the longer we have been in our field or industry, or the bigger our success, the greater our influence by default. Many leaders confuse authority and power with the ability to have impact and influence on those around them. You may have power, but do people follow you? Do they willingly act on what you have to say?

The truth is that position and influence are not directly correlated. An impressive title doesn’t buy you a pass. Influence is not a badge of honor you receive as you move up the corporate ladder. It’s not determined by years of service, pay grade, or even contribution or value to an organization.

We inherently know this myth isn’t true when we observe other executives or high-level leaders who lack influence. Yet we don’t consider that same possibility might be true for ourselves. The further irony of this myth is that as you are promoted, your need for influence increases, but a bigger salary and corner office don’t guarantee you will have greater influence. Those with powerful titles are expected to be influential leaders, yet many aren’t.

In The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell states, “True leadership cannot be awarded, appointed or assigned. It comes only from influence, and that cannot be mandated. It must be earned. The only thing a title can buy is a little time–either to increase your level of influence with others or to undermine it.”²

“An individual’s title doesn’t predict influence, which is a problem, especially for someone in my position,” the CEO of an international advertising agency once said to me. “I often wonder, are people telling me what they think I want to hear because I’m the CEO? Or am I influential because people genuinely believe I have good ideas?” The good news for this executive is that he truly is influential.

REALITY: Anyone has the capacity to be influential if they are willing to do the work.

Myths and misconceptions are just a few of the many factors that undermine influence. As long as we hang on to these outdated beliefs, we limit our potential to enhance our influence. Do you subscribe to any of the Three Myths of Influence?

The Top Ten Lies We Tell Ourselves about Our Influence

1. I’m an executive/leader–I’m already influential.
2. I can turn on influence when I need to.
3. I feel confident, credible and knowledgeable, so others must experience me the same way.
4. Influence only occurs in face-to-face situations.
5. Having influence in day-to-day interactions isn’t necessary or important.
6. People are on their phones while I talk because that is just today’s culture.
7. My work sells itself. I don’t have to be influential.
8. What I’ve done in the past has gotten me where I am, and it’s good enough to get me where I want to go in the future.
9. Influence is a “soft skill” that doesn’t really matter in the digital age.
10. I’m comfortable in high-stakes situations, and if I’m comfortable I must be influential.

TECHNOLOGY: THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD

I recently attended a conference where I presented on the topic of influence. On the day of my arrival, I had trouble finding the exact conference location, and I texted the conference coordinator asking for specific directions. Her responses were abrupt and harsh, almost bordering on rude. When I met her in person, I found her to be the complete opposite: approachable, pleasant and welcoming. I presumed the tone of her earlier texts was simply due to stress.

When she and I emailed after the conference, her responses were again curt. I was surprised that someone in such a visible position wasn’t more aware of her virtual persona. If I had never met this woman in person, my perception of her would be based solely on how she came across in her emails and texts. This experience made me wonder how many people have a less-than-positive perception of her and how that might be negatively impacting her business.

Technology has affected almost every aspect of our professional and personal lives, including our ability to influence others. With respect to influence, technology is a double-edged sword. Technology has made it easier for us to communicate, yet much more difficult for us to influence others Monday to Monday^®.

In an always-on, always-connected world, we tend to overlook the importance of influence. Too often, we don’t stop to think about how we show up or how our communication will be received. Case in point: the message at the bottom of emails sent via smart phones asking recipients for forgiveness of our spelling errors. It’s easier and faster–yet far less influential–to ask forgiveness than to check ourselves before we hit send.

Recent statistics indicate that eighty-nine billion business emails are sent worldwide each day.³ According to The Radicati Group, the average corporate email user sends and receives between 105 and 125 email messages per day.⁴ That is an astounding number that doesn’t even include text messages. A report by Heywire Business found that 67 percent of business professionals use text messaging for business-related communication. Of those professionals, 72 percent text with internal coworkers and 51 percent text with external contacts such as customers, prospects and vendors. Furthermore, more than 33 percent of sales professionals say they have closed a business deal via text. The report concluded, “Business has stopped talking and started texting.”⁵

Have you ever thought about how many emails and texts you send each day? Have you thought about how each of those messages impacts your influence? Each one is an opportunity to stand out from the crowd and grow your influence. Each one is also an opportunity to be misinterpreted, to damage your reputation and to negate your influence. Welcome to the new world of business, where your influence is always on display.

Your influence is always on display.

When it comes to influence, every interaction matters.

If you remember nothing else from this book, remember this one point: Every single interaction–even the virtual ones–matters. Every presentation, conversation, impromptu meeting, email, text, picture, video, post or phone call in the back of a taxi–is a representation of who you are and directly determines how others experience you. Every interaction is a representation of your voice and your personal brand and establishes your reputation. Every interaction either enhances or detracts from your influence.

YOU CAN'T INFLUENCE THEM IF THEY AREN'T PAYING AT TENTION

Imagine that you’ve been preparing...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Acknowledgments
• Are You Really as Influential as You Think You Are?
• Part I: Influence Redefined
• 1 Is Your Influence Outdated?
• 2 Influence 2.0
• 3 Let Go of What You Believe to Be True
• Part II: The Drivers of Influence
• 4 Influence Is a Choice
• 5 Feedback: Fake, Fluff or True?
• 6 Practice: Don’t Wait for the “Big Gig”
• 7 Accountability: Eliminate Excuses and Take Action
• Part III: The Elements of Influence
• 8 Self-Awareness: How You Unknowingly Sabotage Your Influence
• 9 Consistency: Does Your Message Sink or Swim?
• 10 Reputation: Who Are You, Monday to Monday®?
• 11 Adaptability: Focus Outward Rather Than Inward
• 12 Impact: Influence Beyond the Interaction
• The Power of Influence
• Resources to Grow Your Influence
• Recommended Reading
• Endnotes
• Index
• About the Author