Restore the Respect

How to Mediate School Conflicts and Keep Students Learning

Ondine Gross

• Publisher: Brookes Publishing
• Year: 2016
• Print ISBN: 9781598579420
• eBook ISBN: 9781598579734
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Behavioural Management

Unresolved conflicts in schools build barriers to learning, including low motivation, lack of focus, and disruptive behaviors that remove students from the classroom. When teacher-student conflicts occur, the negative effects can be long-lasting without a safe and structured way to repair the relationship.

This reader-friendly guidebook has a concrete, evidence-based solution: an easy and effective 50-minute mediation technique for teachers and students in Grades K-12. School psychologist Ondine Gross guides you through the whole process of starting a teacher-student mediation program, conducting successful mediations, and collecting and monitoring data to measure the effectiveness of the program. You'll also learn how to use the technique to mediate conflicts between students and between adults in schools, including staff members and parents.

Highly successful as a Tier II intervention, this common-sense solution will help your school leave ineffective discipline techniques behind—and embrace more supportive approaches that model social and problem solving skills, reduce suspensions, and keep students learning.

WHY MEDIATION?

• Reduces disciplinary actions—82% of students who participated in teacher–student mediation had no further disciplinary referrals from that teacher*
• Removes or reduces obstacles to student learning and achievement
• Gives teachers insights into student stressors so they can develop positive solutions
• Strengthens and repairs relationships among all members of a school community: teachers, students, staff members, and parents
• Enhances social-emotional learning and communication skills
• Builds trust and promotes a caring and respectful environment among people of different backgrounds
• Fits perfectly within response to intervention and systems of schoolwide positive behavior support frameworks
• Works in any school—embed it as a Tier II intervention in your multitiered system of supports or use it as a standalone strategy

*Statistic derived from average of three years of data from a midsize public high school

PRACTICAL MATERIALS: Compelling school stories; candid feedback from teachers, students and administrators; step-by-step mediation training and practice scenarios; sample mediation dialogue and communication tips; an intervention tracking tool; and a "mediation toolbox" of handouts and forms.

1

A Call to Action

Reforming Discipline, Improving Relationships, and Building Better Schools

If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.

—Anonymous

Scruffy-haired, baby-faced Johnny said, “Shut your face!” to his fifth-grade teacher. Shy, 12-year-old Hannah suddenly threw books off the shelf in her classroom. Feisty 16-year-olds Louie and Ethan shoved each other in the cafeteria. For decades, the only reaction to these kinds of misbehaviors was to discipline the students. The problem is that discipline, whose root is the Latin word disciplina—meaning “to teach”—is typically delivered as a punishment. Usually, an administrator calls home, a parent or guardian has to come to the school, and the school penalizes the student. At no point in such a situation is the teaching part of the school’s disciplinary consequence addressed, nor do the administrators fully examine the underlying causes of the behavior. If there are counselors, social workers, or school psychologists (i.e., student services staff) in the building, they might never be consulted about a student’s misbehavior. Student services staff are expected to promote children’s social-emotional development and provide guidance and support, but due to time and logistical or even philosophical constraints, they are not always consulted when it comes to the delivery of disciplinary consequences.

THE PROBLEMS WITH TRADITIONAL DISCIPLINE POLICIES

What are traditional discipline policies? They can be found in most schools’ codes of conduct, where each infraction and consequence is listed. Take, for example, consequences for disruptive behavior and disobedience. For a first offense, detention may be given. This generally means that the student must sit in a designated spot for a period of time before or after school or during a lunch period. For a second offense, the student’s parent or guardian might be asked to come to the school for a conference, and the student may be given a one-day (in-school or out-of-school) suspension. What if the infraction involves a student expressing profanity to a staff member? The first offense could mean a parent conference and up to a 3-day out-of-school suspension. If there is a second offense, the suspension could last up to 5 days. Repeated offenses could bring other 5-day suspensions, reassignment to an alternative school, or expulsion. All of these compounding consequences remove the student from the learning environment and can create a harmful cycle for the student.

Consider the following example: Mark, a high-energy ninth grader with a bushel of red hair, disobeys his algebra teacher, Ms. Colton, by refusing to stop talking and disrupting other learners. Mark is generally a good student, but algebra is his least favorite subject, and he often struggles to understand new concepts. This algebra class meets directly after lunch, and Mark is playfully bantering with three other students. Ms. Colton, who sees that Mark is the instigator of all the chatter, issues three warnings, and finally, in exasperation, sends Mark to the office with a disciplinary referral (DR). It is Mark’s first DR of the school year, so the administrator, Ms. Reese, has a talk with Mark. She attempts to get to know him, build a rapport, and explain to Mark the reasons why talking in class is disruptive. Ms. Reese assigns detention minutes that Mark may serve after school or during lunch. Mark fails to show up at the assigned time and is observed by a hall monitor to be with his friends instead. This situation compounds his punishment, so the next day, Mark has to serve a full school day of detention. This time, he shows up to the detention room, but it had not been possible for the school staff to gather all of his relevant classroom assignments in time to coincide with his detention. The reading, puzzles, and other busywork Mark is given does not hold his interest, and Mark finds it impossible to sit quietly. Soon, he becomes disruptive. The detention supervisor reprimands and redirects him, but this turns into a shouting match in which Mark uses profanity. Mark again compounds his punishment; he has to return to the administrator and gets sent home for a 3-day suspension period.

Upon Mark’s reentry into the classroom after serving his suspension, there is no discussion with his teacher, Ms. Colton, about what occurred. Mark has been simmering about the original DR that Ms. Colton wrote because he thought it was wrong that he was punished when others were talking just as much. Mark must simply return to the class and pick up where he left off. But rejoining a class is like entering a movie theater 70 minutes after the show starts. Mark does not understand the lesson, assignments, discussions, and activities. Because this is an algebra class, Mark has lost critical instruction on early building block skills due to his time away from the classroom. He feels confused and overwhelmed when he attempts to reintegrate himself to the lesson, and he raises his hand in order to get help from the teacher. Ms. Colton cannot help Mark right away because the class has to review for an upcoming unit exam. Mark thinks, “Doesn’t she see my hand?” He becomes angry that Ms. Colton is ignoring him. Mark erupts with another verbal outburst, and the cycle starts again. What if this continues to happen to Mark on a frequent basis? What if he repeatedly cycles through these consequences?

Too often, the same sequences of traditional disciplinary practices are enacted over and over in the classroom without causing behavior to change. There is a long-standing consensus in educational research that the typical punishments are not effective and do not improve student behavior (Gottfredson, 1997; Loosen & Skiba, 2010; Maag, 2001; Skiba, 2000) and that such punishments only provide short-term solutions—they have no long-term effects on student behavior (Carr et al., 1999; Skiba & Peterson, 1999) and are reactive rather than proactive.

As illustrated in Mark’s case, traditional disciplinary measures do not allow for examining the root cause of problematic behavior or provide an organized system for teaching students better ways to behave. Mark may have told his version of events to the administrator or his parents, but the discussion ended there, and no provisions were made for Mark’s transition back to the class. Though Ms. Colton is an excellent teacher who runs a lively class and often interjects humor in the lesson, Mark now has no sense of belonging; he feels misunderstood and believes that nobody cares about or supports him even when he is trying (his hand was up!). Ms. Colton tries to develop a better relationship with Mark, but mutual suspicion and mistrust have set in after the first time Mark misbehaved. There is not enough time or a safe means to rebuild the trust and respect that is necessary in a teacher–student relationship, so the cycle of misbehavior, futile consequences, and negative feelings continues. Everyone loses:

• The administrator becomes frustrated because no other disciplinary options besides removal and detention are available.

• Mark’s parents become upset about getting so many calls from the school and the need to miss work. They are angry with the school for not doing more to help their child. They worry about Mark’s grades.

• Mark’s teacher struggles to teach a child who has such sporadic attendance, with one day present and two days absent.

• The school counselor who is involved with and cares about Mark is discouraged because his efforts to promote Mark’s participation in positive, supervised, and healthy extracurricular activities are thwarted. Mark’s large number of detentions makes him ineligible for team sports and dances.

• The detention room supervisor is hurt and insulted by Mark’s behavior in her room. She thought they had a good relationship.

• Mark feels hopeless because he is in a hole and has no clue how to dig himself out. He feels isolated from his peer group, and he remains angry because he believes he is treated unfairly. With his parents forced to leave him at home unsupervised because of repeated suspensions, Mark could, for example, potentially turn to loitering, vandalism, drinking, drug use, drug dealing, or theft as he loses faith in school.

The 2014 U.S. Department of Education report titled Guiding Principles: A Resource Guide for Improving School Climate and Discipline noted the various costs of suspension and expulsion as consequences for student misbehavior. For example, students who are suspended and expelled miss out on positive teaching, peer interactions, and adult mentorship within the school environment. They lose out on developing skills that would allow them to improve their behavior and avoid future problems. They also struggle academically; these students typically score lower on standardized tests and have poorer academic achievement. Students who are suspended likely are unsupervised during the day and are at risk for future suspensions, repeating a grade, dropping out, and getting involved in the juvenile justice system. Ultimately, society pays direct and indirect costs. Undereducated people are more likely to be unemployed, earn less when employed, be saddled with greater poverty-related health problems, or be incarcerated.

Although suspensions and expulsions can have detrimental effects, a 2011 study by Boccanfuso and Kuhfeld found that 95% of out-of-school suspensions were for seemingly minor disruptions such as disrespect or tardiness. How is student disrespect defined? Is Kevin disrespectful because he did not open a book? Is Olga disrespectful because she rolled her eyes? It depends on who you ask. Tardiness is not straightforward either. Is Manny tardy if he is not seated when the bell rings? Is Kiki tardy if she is at the classroom entrance when the bell rings? Is Sue tardy if she sets her books down and dashes to the restroom, returning just after the bell rings? Determining misbehavior is a subjective process that can change based on circumstance or the interpretation of those in authority.

Also troubling about today’s common school discipline practices is the unfortunate but well-documented phenomenon that discipline policies that exclude students from their education have the most impact on black males and students with disabilities (Klotz, 2014). Skiba, Michael, Nardo, and Peterson (2002) cited findings from 25 years of research that “consistently found evidence of socioeconomic and racial disproportionality in the administration of school discipline” (p. 318). Studies have shown that race matters more than socioeconomic class and that black students are more likely to be sent to the office for infractions that could be interpreted subjectively (Skiba et al., 2002). Should sandy-haired Kevin, a jovial athlete who wears designer polo shirts and is the son of a school board member, receive a lighter disciplinary consequence for “horseplay” (because “boys will be boys”) than Jamar, an African-American 15-year-old residing in the “bad neighborhood” whose single mother works the night shift at the local factory? If Jenny, a blonde cheerleader, disrupts class by teasing and joking with her fellow students, will she receive as harsh a reprimand as Shymira, an African-American volleyball player who is also laughing and trading insults with her classmates? Many educators might answer by proclaiming, “I don’t see color!” Yet it is important to acknowledge that the way we see others can be affected by their race, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, religion, ethnicity, appearance, neighborhood, family background, and socioeconomic status so that we can challenge any assumptions or stereotypes that might be influencing disciplinary practices and the way school staff relate to students. It is also important to consider how school staff are seen by their diverse students. Age, ethnicity, style, warmth, and the formality or informality of communication styles may have an impact on a student’s reactions, comfort level, and motivation.

With regard to students with disabilities, a 2015 study by Miller and Meyers noted that male and female students with disabilities were more likely to receive in-school suspensions than students without disabilities. They also found significant differences in the rates of suspensions and drop-out rates across types of disabilities. Students with emotional disabilities had a higher dropout rate, followed by students with learning disabilities, and then students with autism. Students with individualized education programs (IEPs) are entitled to protections if their disciplinary infractions are found to be a manifestation of their disability. Consider the following example.

Roland, a seventh grader with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), performs well with his daily routine. His IEP documents that when there are unexpected changes in his routine, he becomes agitated and shouts profanities. Roland’s IEP goals and objectives are to improve his emotional regulation and social skills so that he can better cope with transitions and unexpected circumstances.

One day, Roland’s teacher is out sick, and a substitute teacher, Ms. Finkel, is assigned to Roland’s morning homeroom class. Roland has a field trip that day and panics because he fears that Ms. Finkel will not know about the field trip. Roland shouts profanities and gets in Ms. Finkel’s face, yelling, “I am going to hurt you, you stupid lady!” but does not touch her. Ms. Finkel feels threatened and calls the administrator.

The administrator, who has a positive relationship with Roland, calms him down, contacts Roland’s parent, and sends him home for the rest of the day. The school staff follow the code of conduct, and Roland is given a disciplinary consequence. Threatening a teacher is an expellable offense under some circumstances. Roland’s IEP team holds a manifestation determination meeting, following proper procedures and protocols, to determine whether Roland’s problem behavior was a result of his disability. Because Roland’s IEP and school evaluation documented that he becomes agitated and shouts profanities with unexpected transitions, the IEP team determines that Roland’s behavior toward Ms. Finkel was a manifestation of his disability, and he is not expelled. Roland’s IEP team is instructed, however, to modify Roland’s IEP and write goals to specifically teach alternative behaviors to making verbal threats.

When disciplining students, school staff should take care to analyze how they approach, think about, and label each child. As crass as it sounds, there is still a tendency to refer to students as good or bad. If Steven is a good kid, will he be smiled at and given greater leeway for his misbehavior? If Steven is a bad kid, will he be treated in a cold, gruff manner? Are good kids entitled to greater sensitivity and understanding, whereas bad kids are not worthy? What does it take for a good kid to be perceived as a bad kid? Could one misunderstanding do the trick? Is there unconscious bias related to racial, class, and ability differences in who is being sent out of the classroom? It is important to ask these tough questions in order to remedy inconsistencies and inequalities in the way staff members handle behavioral issues in schools.

For some schools, the response to inconsistencies and questions of subjectivity in discipline results in the implementation of a zero tolerance policy. A zero tolerance policy, as defined by the American Psychological Association Zero Tolerance Task Force in 2008, “mandates the application of predetermined consequences, most often severe and punitive in nature, that are intended to be applied regardless of the gravity of behavior, mitigating circumstances, or situational context” (p. 856). Yet the difficulties faced by students across America—poverty, disability, mental health challenges, a lack of environmental support systems, or a lack of suitable medical care—make zero tolerance policies inhumane as well as ineffe...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• About the Forms
• About the Author
• Foreword Jed Baker
• Preface
• Acknowledgments
• Dedication
• 1 A Call to Action: Reforming Discipline, Improving Relationships, and Building Better Schools
• 2 Systems to Help Students: How Response to Intervention and Multi-tiered Positive Behavior Supports Transform a School
• 3 What Is Teacher–Student Mediation?
• 4 How to Conduct Teacher–Student Mediations
• 5 What Is Required of a Skilled School Mediator?
• 6 Sources of Teacher–Student Conflict, Problem-Solving Strategies, and Sample Mediations
• 7 Feedback on Teacher–Student Mediation
• 8 Promising Data: Mediation Is Effective
• 9 How to Conduct Student Mediations
• 10 Mediation with Adults in Schools: The Next Frontier
• Afterword
• Appendix A: Your Mediation Toolbox
• Appendix B: Tier II Intervention Guide
• References
• Index