Not Quite Healed

40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Cecil Murphy, Gary Roe

• Publisher: Kregel Publications
• eBook ISBN:
  9780825485398
• Year: 2014

Survivors of sexual abuse face a long road to recovery. With every bump and bruise and setback, they may wonder if total healing is even possible. In fact, the feeling that "I should be healed by now" is one that every survivor will have to deal with at some time. A survivor himself, Cecil Murphey writes, "I absolutely affirm that God can produce such a miracle. I don't know of any, but I still think that it is possible."
So how are survivors to overcome the challenges they are sure to face? Finding strength in community with other survivors is one key to recovery. In Not Quite Healed, two survivors join forces to share insight and encouragement on the issues that challenge them most. After a candid discussion about each issue, the authors provide a self-affirming statement that men can study, memorize, and recite on their darkest days—statements such as:
• Forgiveness is a difficult task for me, but it's a simple thing for God.
• Accountability is the first step to livability.
• God wants to heal my pain to bring healing to others.
Whether men are struggling with relying on God, living behind a mask, dealing with flashbacks and recurring dreams, or learning to forgive, Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe offer hope and comfort for the ongoing

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• 1. Shouldn’t I be healed by now?
• 2. Why am I still not healed?
• 3. Why was I victimized?
• 4. Where was God?
• 5. I am an artichoke.
• 6. More lessons from the artichoke.
• 7. I acted out.
• 8. I’m addicted to pornography.
• 9. I struggle with same-sex attraction.
• 10. It’s safer to live behind my mask.
• 11. Why do I feel responsible for others?
• 12. Why are my emotions so confusing?
• 13. Why these contradictions?
• 14. I need somebody.
• 15. Why do I have to talk about it?
• 16. I don’t want to expose family secrets.
• 17. How do I handle flashbacks and recurring dreams?
• 18. What good comes from grief?
• 19. I don’t feel like a real man.
• 20. What lies have I believed?
• 21. Why did I believe the lies?
• 22. How do I combat the lies?
• 23. Why am I so hard on myself?
• 24. Why do I need to forgive?
• 25. Why is forgiving so difficult?
• 26. How can I find compassion for my perpetrators?
• 27. Why do I need accountability?
• 28. I need help.
• 29. What’s wrong with my coping mechanisms?
• 30. I am wounded, body and soul.
• 31. Embrace my inner child?
• 32. How do I change what I say to myself?
• 33. I face what I couldn’t accept.
• 34. What do I want?
• 35. What do I give to others?
• 36. How do I complete the circle?
• 37. How will I be different?
• 38. When I’m healed, who will I be?
• 39. How I reuse my pain.
• 40. I can learn from the Serenity Prayer.
• Self-Affirmations / List of 40 Truths
• Acknowledgments