Related by Chance, Family by Choice

Transforming Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships

Deb DeArmond

• Publisher: Kregel Publications
• eBook ISBN:
  9780825479816
• Year: 2013

The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields (Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like ihatemyinlaws.com and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man's life.
Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-laws have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. The numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were "bad" were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith.
Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-laws that is so obviously and unusually positive that she—and they—are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share.
This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship's success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb's one motivating objective is to help women-in- law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Preface: The Girls
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction: What’s the Problem?
• 1. What’s Love Got to Do with It?
• 2. Women of the Word: Ruth and Naomi
• 3. Leaving and Cleaving: What Exactly Does That Mean?
• 4. Hey Mama! Get a Life of Your Own!
• 5. Daughter Dearest: Be Careful What You Sow!
• 6. I Don’t Trust You and You Don’t Trust Me!
• 7. Can We Get There from Here? Bridging the Communication Gap
• 8. The Outlaw In-Laws: Rounding Up Your Posse
• 9. Hey Guys! Don’t Just Stand There, Do Something!
• 10. Digging Out: How Big Is Your Shovel?
• 11. Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Setting Boundaries
• 12. Well Begun Is Half Done: Starting Strong
• About the Author