Healing a Teen's Grieving Heart

100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends and Caregivers

Alan D Wolfelt, Alan Wolfelt

• Publisher: Companion Press
• eBook ISBN:
  9781617220524
• Year: 2001

A compassionate resource for friends, parents, relatives, teachers, volunteers, and caregivers, this series offers suggestions to help the grieving cope with the loss of a loved one. Often people do not know what to say—or what not to say—to someone they know who is mourning; this series teaches that the most important thing a person can do is listen, have compassion, be there for support, and do something helpful. This volume addresses what to expect from grieving young people, and how to provide safe outlets for teens to express emotion. Included in each book are tested, sensitive ideas for "carpe diem" actions that people can take right this minute—while still remaining supportive and honoring the mourner's loss.
 
 

Table of contents

• Also by Alan Wolfelt:
• Dedication
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• Dedication
• Introduction
• 1. - Understand the difference between grief and mourning.
• 2. - Make a “contact pact” with yourself.
• 3. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING
• 4. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING
• 5. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING
• 6. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING
• 7. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING
• 8. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING
• 9. - Know that grief does not proceed in orderly, predictable “stages.”
• 10. - DON’T expect the teen to mourn or heal in a certain way or in a certain time.
• 11. - Consider the teen’s relationship to the person who died.
• 12. - If a teen’s parent has died, consider this:
• 13. - If a teen’s sibling has died, consider this:
• 14. - Don’t expect the teen to take on the role of a parent or sibling who died.
• 15. - If a teen’s grandparent has died, consider this:
• 16. - If a teen’s friend has died, consider this:
• 17. - Acknowledge grief stemming from the loss of a pet.
• 18. - Consider the nature of the death.
• 19. - If the death was violent, consider this:
• 20. - Think about the teen’s cultural or ethnic background.
• 21. - Talk about death.
• 22. - Establish trust and confidentiality. Then honor it.
• 23. - Listen without judging.
• 24. - Respect the teen’s wish not to talk about the death.
• 25. - Pay attention to your nonverbal communication.
• 26. - DON’T fall back on clichés.
• 27. - DON’T use religious clichés, either.
• 28. - Do say this.
• 29. - Use the name of the person who died.
• 30. - Call the teen.
• 31. - Write a letter.
• 32. - Attend the funeral.
• 33. - Have the teen write an epitaph for the person who died.
• 34. - Help the teen choose a keepsake.
• 35. - Give the teen permission to find comfort in “linking objects.”
• 36. - Allow the teen to cry.
• 37. - Ask to see photos.
• 38. - Mourn together.
• 39. - Be compassionate.
• 40. - Be genuine.
• 41. - Be the teen’s advocate.
• 42. - Let the teen be a teen.
• 43. - Offer help from the community.
• 44. - Inquire about support groups.
• 45. - Galvanize the teen’s support network.
• 46. - Ease the teen’s relationships with her peers.
• 47. - Help the teen’s family mourn.
• 48. - Visit the grave or scattering site together.
• 49. - Visit a pet store.
• 50. - Spend time with younger kids.
• 51. - Contemplate the universe.
• 52. - Talk with the teen about heaven.
• 53. - Get cultured.
• 54. - Tickle a funny bone.
• 55. - Treat the teen to a neck and shoulder massage.
• 56. - Play a game.
• 57. - Light the night.
• 58. - Move to the music.
• 59. - Offer to pick up homework assignments.
• 60. - Do a project together.
• 61. - Teach the teen something new.
• 62. - Make a collage together.
• 63. - Finger-paint.
• 64. - Exercise together.
• 65. - Imagine what the person who died would do or say.
• 66. - Ask about a parting gift.
• 67. - Ask a favor.
• 68. - Volunteer with the teen.
• 69. - Reaffirm life.
• 70. - Break bread; share fruit.
• 71. - Bring a meal over, or take the teen out to eat.
• 72. - Cook something together.
• 73. - Go bowling.
• 74. - Go surfing.
• 75. - Go someplace peaceful.
• 76. - Go buy the book.
• 77. - Give a calling card.
• 78. - Give a candle.
• 79. - Give a dream catcher.
• 80. - Give a memory journal.
• 81. - Give a memory box.
• 82. - Give a sleep basket.
• 83. - Stop by.
• 84. - Turn feelings into something tangible.
• 85. - Suggest safe ways for a teen boy to release his anger.
• 86. - Suggest safe ways for a teen girl to release her anger.
• 87. - Be on the look-out for “red flag” behaviors.
• 88. - Take a risk with the teen.
• 89. - Take a walk together.
• 90. - Take care.
• 91. - Donate a day to the teen.
• 92. - Focus on the day’s happy moments.
• 93. - Remember: One day at a time.
• 94. - Be mindful of anniversaries.
• 95. - Don’t be caught off guard by “griefbursts.”
• 96. - Leave the teen alone.
• 97. - Educate others about the needs of grieving teens.
• 98. - Follow up and follow through.
• 99. - Understand that teens don’t “get over” grief.
• 100. - Believe in the teen’s capacity to heal.
• A Final Word
• Send us your ideas for Healing A Teen’s Grieving Heart!
• ALSO BY ALAN WOLFELT