Healing a Child's Heart After Divorce

100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends and Caregivers

Alan D Wolfelt, Raelynn Maloney, Alan Wolfelt

• Publisher: Companion Press
• eBook ISBN:
  9781617221439
• Year: 2011

Addressing the significant loss that divorce represents for children, this caregiving companion makes it possible for adults to guide them through the natural grief that accompanies the experience. Contending that children can continue to thrive if they are shown the way, this sensitive guide provides 100 practical suggestions for supporting them. Aimed at assisting a wide range of adults, the methods presented are ideal not just for parents but for grandparents, teachers, day care workers, counselors, and even coaches who care for and about kids. Enabling grownups with down-to-earth tips, this handbook is essential for helping sons and daughters navigate the inevitable array of confusing thoughts and feelings.

Table of contents

• Also by Alan Wolfelt:
• Dedication
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• INTRODUCTION
• 1. - EXPECT GRIEF.
• 2. - UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRIEF AND MOURNING.
• 3. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING.
• 4. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING.
• 5. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING.
• 6. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING.
• 7. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING.
• 8. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING.
• 9. - HELP HER TELL OTHERS THAT SHE’S MOURNING.
• 10. - MAKE HIS FAVORITE FAMILY MEAL.
• 11. - KEEP HER CONNECTED WITH BOTH PARENTS.
• 12. - USE THE WORD GRIEF.
• 13. - REDEFINE FAMILY.
• 14. - REDEFINE LOVE.
• 15. - HAVE AN UNCOUPLING CEREMONY.
• 16. - DRAW OR PLAY TOGETHER.
• 17. - CREATE A DIVORCE MANDALA.
• 18. - PAINT POTTERY.
• 19. - MAKE A PHOTO ALBUM.
• 20. - ENCOURAGE COMPASSIONATE CO-PARENTING.
• 21. - FIND HIM A DIVORCE SUPPORT GROUP.
• 22. - READ A BOOK ON CHANGE.
• 23. - NOTICE HOW HIS RELATIONSHIP HAS CHANGED WITH HIS PARENTS.
• 24. - MAKE A FAMILY MEMORY BOX.
• 25. - ACKNOWLEDGE HOLIDAY GRIEF.
• 26. - FIND A MARRIAGE MEMENTO.
• 27. - TALK ABOUT DIVORCE IN KID-LANGUAGE.
• 28. - EASE THE TRANSITION BETWEEN HOUSE STAYS.
• 29. - “LISTEN” TO HIS BEHAVIORS.
• 30. - REMEMBER, CHILDREN HAVE RIGHTS.
• 31. - AVOID SECRETS.
• 32. - GIVE HERA LOCKET.
• 33. - HAVE A MOVIE NIGHT.
• 34. - GET A GIFT FOR EACH PARENT.
• 35. - USE SOCIAL MEDIA SITES.
• 36. - DON’T SHATTER HOPE.
• 37. - WAIT TO INTRODUCE NEW PARTNERS.
• 38. - FIND SPACE TO MOURN.
• 39. - DON’T TRUST THAT SHE’S OKAY.
• 40. - FIND A KEEPSAKE.
• 41. - TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY PET.
• 42. - MAKE A FAMILY COAT OF ARMS.
• 43. - ENCOURAGE FEELINGS.
• 44. - KEEP FAMILY PHOTOS.
• 45. - GIVE COMFORT WITH LINKING OBJECTS.
• 46. - REMEMBER THE OTHER PARENT.
• 47. - MODEL RESPECTFUL, POSITIVE BEHAVIOR.
• 48. - TALK TO THE TEACHER.
• 49. - TALK TO THE SCHOOL COUNSELOR.
• 50. - PRAY.
• 51. - TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE.
• 52. - FIND KIDS WHO’VE BEEN THROUGH DIVORCE.
• 53. - BE PRESENT.
• 54. - GIVE A HUG.
• 55. - LET HIM CRY.
• 56. - MODEL MOURNING.
• 57. - VISIT THE OLD HOUSE.
• 58. - TALK ABOUT BOTH PARENTS.
• 59. - REMIND HER THAT PARENTS ARE FOREVER.
• 60. - WRITE A FAMILY EPITAPH.
• 61. - PLAN A SPECIAL DAY.
• 62. - BE HIS ADVOCATE.
• 63. - TELL HER IT’S NOT HER FAULT.
• 64. - MAKE A VISION COLLAGE.
• 65. - LISTEN TO HER FAMILY STORY.
• 66. - ENCOURAGE JOURNALING.
• 67. - SEND A CARD.
• 68. - SEND A CARE PACKAGE.
• 69. - FRAME FAMILY PICTURES.
• 70. - PLANT A GARDEN.
• 71. - TALK WITH—NOT AT—HIM.
• 72. - CONNECT EVERY DAY.
• 73. - ACT IN HIS BEST INTEREST.
• 74. - BE SILLY.
• 75. - WATCH FOR WARNING SIGNS.
• 76. - HELP THE FAMILY MOURN.
• 77. - DON’T DISENFRANCHISE THE CHILD’S PARENTS.
• 78. - SET UP A COUNSELING APPOINTMENT.
• 79. - CONSIDER HIS AGE.
• 80. - GO THE DISTANCE WITH GRIEF.
• 81. - LIMIT CHANGE.
• 82. - CONSIDER WHAT KIDS NEED.
• 83. - THINK ABOUT HER CULTURE.
• 84. - AVOID SENDING MIXED MESSAGES.
• 85. - KEEP STRESS IN CHECK.
• 86. - SHOW WHAT RESOLUTION LOOKS LIKE.
• 87. - AVOID EUPHEMISMS AND CLICHÉS.
• 88. - SURF THE WEB.
• 89. - MAINTAIN FAMILY RITUALS.
• 90. - FEED HER BODY.
• 91. - ENCOURAGE TRUE FEELINGS.
• 92. - TELL THE PARENTS’ MARRIAGE STORY.
• 93. - WATCH THE WEDDING VIDEO.
• 94. - ENCOURAGE HER TO MOURN WITH EACH PARENT.
• 95. - EXPECT GRIEFBURSTS.
• 96. - FACE THE PAIN.
• 97. - REALIZE SHE’S LOST A PARENT.
• 98. - TAKE GRIEF OFF A SCHEDULE.
• 99. - ESTABLISH “FAIR FIGHTING” RULES.
• 100. - BE HONEST.
• A FINAL WORD
• THE GRIEVING CHILD’S BILL OF RIGHTS
• WANTED: HEALING AFTER DIVORCE IDEAS
• ALSO BY ALAN WOLFELT
• ALSO BY RAELYNN MALONEY