A Matter of Life and Death

Or How to Wean A Man off Football

Alistair McGowan, Ronni Ancona

• Publisher: Faber & Faber
• eBook ISBN:
  9780571250561
• Year: 2009

"Couples argue about a lot of things - money, seeing old partners, football, having children, looking after children...and football. Clothes, washing up...and football. If you think about the relationships you've had, football is probably the cause of more arguments than anything else."

From TV's funniest male/female double act comes a hilarious new book about the wrangles, rows and off-side rules of relationships.

Ronni's challenge is this: to wean a die-hard football fan off the not-so-beautiful game. She needs a guinea pig on whom she can try out her theory. Who better than her best friend and ex-boyfriend, the truly obsessed Alistair McGowan? If she can persuade Alistair and all the men like him that there are more fulfilling ways of spending time than reading sports pages and watching Match of the Day, then surely she will help women all over the world to richer, more rewarding romantic lives. But could Alistair every really give it up? And if he did, what would remain of the man?

Part comic self-help book, part confessional memoir, A Matter of Life and Death is a brilliant and original take on the differences between men and women.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Dedication
• Table of Contents
• 1: Football, Football Everywhere …
• 2: In My Blood …
• 3: Self-Help Help
• 4: Why Women and Football Don’t Go
• 5: An Immovable Object
• 6: The First Cracks in the Armour
• 7: Early Doors …
• 8: Bye, Bye, Crewe!
• 9: ‘Easy! Easy!’
• 10: ‘City Till I Die’
• 11: Football Is a Giant Ant
• 12: Elland Road Visited
• 13: ‘Sprouts Are Traditional …’
• 14: In Bruges
• 15: Comedy in Tatters
• 16: The Belly of the Beast
• 17: A Man’s World
• 18: Terraced Cottages
• 19: Getting Serious
• 20: Bashing My Manhood
• 21: My Football Past
• 22: Arsenal, 1993
• 23: Unkempt and Grumpy
• 24: Summer’s Coming
• 25: A Frontal Lobotomy withoutthe Anaesthetic
• 26: One Big Turn-Off
• 27: Chorizo Sausages
• 28: The Catch-Up …
• 29: Men and Women
• 30: Bye-Bye, Alan!
• 31: Meeting Our Victims
• 32: Bursting the Balloon
• 33: The Girl in the Pub
• 34: Kicking and Screaming
• 35: The Art Gallery
• 36: No Escape!
• 37: Elland Road Revisited – ‘Suitgate’
• 38: The New Season
• 39: Horses, Clothes and Chocolate
• 40: Hull City and Plymouth Argyle
• 41: Meeting on the Halfway Line
• 42: The Final Whistle
• Acknowledgements
• About the Author
• Copyright