Staying Connected While Letting Go

The Paradox of Alzheimer's Caregiving

Sandy Braff, Mary Rose Olenik

• Publisher: M. Evans & Company
• Year: 2005
• eBook ISBN: 9781590772850
• Topic: Medicine
• Subtopic: Caregiving

When you’re living with a loved one who is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease you must be able to survive one emotional upheaval after another. What is most important during this difficult time is that you not only survive the physical demands placed on you as the primary caregiver, but that you learn to cope effectively with the emotional turmoil and preserve the quality of your own life in the process. Caregivers have been known to put their own lives on hold and become entirely devoted to caregiving—making this difficult role even harder, and often compromising their own health. This needn’t happen.

The caregivers you will meet in this book, with whom you have much in common, have learned how to deal with the frustration, anger, and grief that come naturally to any person in this role. Through their poignant stories and personal experiences you will find the strength that you need to care for your loved one while remaining emotionally committed as the mutuality of your partnership fades. Loving and nurturing while letting go is the paradox of Alzheimer’s caregiving.

You can learn from the caregivers in this book what you need to do to create a satisfying life that meshes with your role as caregiver. You will ultimately be able to make the right decisions and minimize the chaos that can overwhelm you. Within are the tools you need to manage the stressors of your changing and challenging world.

Table of contents

• Foreword
• Preface
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction
• Part One: The Beginning Stage
• Chapter 1. First Encounters
• Chapter 2. If Only I Could Be Wrong: Tentative Diagnosis
• Chapter 3. What Now? Reactions to the Diagnosis
• Chapter 4. Reaching In and Reaching Out: Adaptation
• Chapter 5. Rallying the Troops: Family Reactions
• Chapter 6. The Shell Without the Pearl: Transcending Loss
• Part Two: The Middle Stage
• Chapter 7. Coming to Terms
• Chapter 8. Confronting the Demons: Your Emotional Reactions to the Middle Stage
• Chapter 9. Tears of Laughter: The Importance of Humor
• Chapter 10. The Mars and Venus of Adapting to Change: Gender Differences
• Chapter 11. The Lonely Bed: Adapting to Profound Loss of Intimacy
• Chapter 12. Harvesting Your Communal Garden: Preventing Burnout
• Chapter 13. I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Know I Can: Resiliency
• Part Three: The Late Middle Stage
• Chapter 14. The Long Good-bye
• Chapter 15. I’m Beat and I’m Scared: Caregiving Intensifies—Resource Options
• Chapter 16. When Alone Equals Lonely: Loneliness and Companionship
• Part Four: The Final Stage and Beyond
• Chapter 17. Nearing the Journey’s End: Final Stages of Alzheimer’s
• Chapter 18. The Relief of Planning Ahead: Advanced Directives
• Chapter 19. Another Paradox: Anticipatory Grief and Mourning
• Chapter 20. At Peace, My Love: Death of a Spouse
• Chapter 21. Cleaning out the Closets: The Process of Closure
• Chapter 22. Honoring Your Tomorrows: Reentry Post Caregiving
• Bibliography
• About the Authors