Not So Sorry
About this book
It's time for a nuanced discussion about forgiveness.
From religious communities to therapeutic spaces, the importance of forgiving those who've wronged us is often enshrined as an unqualified good. But what about horrifying cases of abuse, predatory behavior, or systemic wrong? Too often, when predators or abusers are exposed, the chorus comes immediately: "What about forgiveness?" In these cases, forgiveness places the onus on victims, diminishes real hurt and anger, lets perpetrators off the hook, and prevents justice from being done.
In Not So Sorry, journalist and culture critic Kaya Oakes tackles these questions with intelligence, nuance, and a bit of righteous anger. Ranging effortlessly from Christian theology and world history to psychology and pop culture, Oakes takes us on a whirlwind tour of the many abuses of the concept of forgiveness, including the abuse scandals of the Catholic church, the outing of high-profile abusers like Larry Nassar, and white America's obsession with false narratives of marginalized peoples granting forgiveness to oppressors. Ultimately, Oakes dares us to ask the necessary question: Is it ever better not to forgive?
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Information
Table of contents
- Cover Page
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Contents
- Introduction: The Limits of Forgiveness
- 1. Fetishizing Forgiveness: What It Is, and Who It’s For
- 2. Seventy Times Seven: The Limits of Christian Understandings of Forgiveness
- 3. Forgiveness, American Style
- 4. The Conquered Body: Trauma and the Burden of Forgiveness
- 5. The Epicenter: How the Catholic Church Lost Its Right to Forgiveness
- 6. Evangelical Forgiveness and Spiritual Abuse
- 7. Bodies: Rape, Abortion, and Forgiveness
- 8. Just Let It Go: Why Self-Forgiveness Isn’t Always Possible, and How It Can Lead to Abuse
- 9. If Not Forgiveness, Then What?: Restorative Justice and the Messy Work of Atonement
- Acknowledgments
- Notes