Team Maxwell 2in1 (Winning With People/17 Indisputable Laws)

John C. Maxwell

• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Year: 2008
• ISBN:
  9781418551209
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Corporate Finance
• Index: Business

Winning With People and 17 Indisputable Laws is authored by John C. Maxwell and bundled into a 2-in-1 collection.

WINNING
WITH
PEOPLE

DISCOVER THE PEOPLE PRINCIPLES
THAT WORK FOR YOU EVERY TIME

CONTENTS

Winning with People

Introduction

The Readiness Question:
Are We Prepared for Relationships?

The Lens Principle: Who We Are Determines How We See Others

The Mirror Principle: The First Person We Must Examine Is Ourselves

The Pain Principle: Hurting People Hurt People and Are Easily Hurt by Them

The Hammer Principle: Never Use a Hammer to Swat a Fly off Someone’s Head

The Elevator Principle: We Can Lift People Up or Take People Down in Our Relationships

The Connection Question:
Are We Willing to Focus on Others?

The Big Picture Principle: The Entire Population of the World— with One Minor Exception—Is Composed of Others

The Exchange Principle: Instead of Putting Others in Their Place, We Must Put Ourselves in Their Place

The Learning Principle: Each Person We Meet Has the Potential to Teach Us Something

The Charisma Principle: People Are Interested in the Person Who Is Interested in Them

The Number 10 Principle: Believing the Best in People Usually Brings the Best Out of People

The Confrontation Principle: Caring for People Should Precede Confronting People

The Trust Question:
Can We Build Mutual Trust?

The Bedrock Principle: Trust Is the Foundation of Any Relationship

The Situation Principle: Never Let the Situation Mean More Than the Relationship

The Bob Principle: When Bob Has a Problem with Everyone, Bob Is Usually the Problem

The Approachability Principle: Being at Ease with Ourselves Helps Others Be at Ease with Us

The Foxhole Principle: When Preparing for Battle, Dig a Hole Big Enough for a Friend

The Investment Question:
Are We Willing to Invest in Others?

The Gardening Principle: All Relationships Need Cultivation

The 101 Percent Principle: Find the 1 Percent We Agree on and Give It 100 Percent of Our Effort

The Patience Principle: The Journey with Others Is Slower Than the Journey Alone

The Celebration Principle: The True Test of Relationships Is Not Only How Loyal We Are When Friends Fail, but How Thrilled We Are When They Succeed

The High Road Principle: We Go to a Higher Level When We Treat Others Better Than They Treat Us

The Synergy Question:
Can We Create a Win-Win Relationship?

The Boomerang Principle: When We Help Others, We Help Ourselves

The Friendship Principle: All Things Being Equal, People Will Work with People They Like; All Things Not Being Equal, They Still Will

The Partnership Principle: Working Together Increases the Odds of Winning Together

The Satisfaction Principle: In Great Relationships, the Joy of Being Together Is Enough

Final Review of the People Principles for Winning with People

Notes

About the Author

Winning with People is dedicated to
Hannah Elisabeth Maxwell,
our second grandchild.

Her sparkling personality
has already won the hearts of her grandparents.
It is our prayer that as she grows older,
she will always be able to win with people.

Introduction

What does it take to win with people? Does an individual have to be born with an outgoing personality or a great sense of intuition to succeed relationally? When it comes to people skills, are there haves and have-nots, and we just have to accept whatever abilities God has given us? Can someone who is good at building relationships become even better?

Most of us can tell instantly when we’re in the presence of a real “people person.” Individuals with excellent people skills connect with us easily, make us feel good about ourselves, and lift us to a higher level. Our interaction with them creates a positive experience that makes us want to spend time with them.

Some people are so skilled at working with people that they ought to be in a relationship hall of fame. People such as Dale Carnegie, John Wooden, Ronald Reagan, and Norman Vincent Peale easily come to mind. Likewise, there are people whose relational abilities could make them candidates for a relational hall of shame. Leona Helmsley, Henry Ford (Sr.), Frank Lorenzo, and Dennis Rodman have such reputations.

But you don’t have to read the paper or study history to find examples of relational extremes. You have to deal with them in your own life every day: on the street, at church, (perhaps at home,) and certainly at work. Take a look at the following statements that people put on job applications that reveal their deficiency when dealing with people:

• It’s best for employers if I don’t work with people.

• The company made me a scapegoat, just like my previous employers.

• Note: Please don’t misconstrue my fourteen jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

• References: None. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.

You may find yourself thinking that some of those applicants are now working at your place of employment!

SOME KNOW THE SECRET

What kind of price would you put on good people skills? Ask the successful CEOs of major corporations what characteristic is most needed for success in leadership positions, and they’ll tell you it’s the ability to work with people. Interview entrepreneurs to find out what separates the successes from the failures, and they’ll tell you it is skill with people. Talk to top salespeople and they’ll tell you that people knowledge is much more important than mere product knowledge. Sit down with teachers and tradesmen, shop foremen and small business owners, pastors and parents, and they’ll tell you that people skills make the difference between those who excel and those who don’t. People skills are invaluable. It doesn’t matter what you want to do. If you can win with people, you can win!

Many people fall into the trap of taking relationships for granted. That’s not good because our ability to build and maintain healthy relationships is the single most important factor in how we get along in every area of life. Our people skills determine our potential success. Robert W. Woodruff, the man whose leadership transformed the Coca-Cola Company from a small, regional beverage producer to a global organization and financial powerhouse, understood the people factor when it came to achievement. In his book Top Performance, relationship expert Zig Ziglar quotes the former CEO of the Coca-Cola Company. Zig says that Woodruff used to hand out a little pamphlet he had created that read:

Life is pretty much a selling job. Whether we succeed or fail is largely a matter of how well we motivate the human beings with whom we deal to buy us and what we have to offer.

Success or failure in this job is essentially a matter of human relationships. It is a matter of the kind of reaction to us by our family members, customers, employees, employers, and fellow workers and associates. If this reaction is favorable we are quite likely to succeed. If the reaction is unfavorable we are doomed.

The deadly sin in our relationship with people is that we take them for granted. We do not make an active or continuous effort to do and say things that will make them like us, and believe us, and that will create in them the desire to work with us in the attainment of our desires and purposes.

Again and again, we see both individuals and organizations perform only to a small degree of their potential success, or fail entirely, simply because of their neglect of the human element in business and life.

They take people and their actions for granted. Yet it is these people and their responses that make or break them.¹

IT ALL STARTS WITH PEOPLE

All of life’s successes come from initiating relationships with the right people and then strengthening those relationships by using good people skills. Likewise, life’s failures can usually be traced back to people. Sometimes the impact is obvious. Becoming entangled with an abusive spouse, a crooked partner, or a codependent family member is going to cause great damage. Other times the trouble is less dramatic, such as alienating a coworker that you must interact with every day, failing to build a positive relationship with an important client, or missing key opportunities to encourage an insecure child. The bottom line is this: people can usually trace their successes and failures to the relationships in their lives.

When I think about my personal failures, I can trace most of them to specific individuals in my life. I once picked the wrong person for financial advice and went into an oil deal with him. It cost me $10,000, which it had taken my wife, Margaret, and me a long time to save. Another time I started a business and asked a friend to take charge of it, thinking he could make it go. But my judgment was poor, and after just a couple of years, the business was more than $150,000 in the red.

I’m not playing victim and blaming my failures on others. Rather, I’m saying that my interaction with others is a huge part of the process. In a similar way, I can’t take credit for my successes. None of them was a solo endeavor. My interaction with others helped me to be successful. For every achievement, I can look back and see a relationship that made it possible. Without the help of people like Elmer Towns, Peter Wagner, and Jack Hayford, my career never would have gotten this far. Without the help of a whole slew of people at Thomas Nelson and at my company, the INJOY group, my book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership never would have been a million seller. And most of my financial blessings can be credited to the help and advice of my brother, Larry Maxwell, and my friend Tom Phillippe.

As important as relationships are professionally, they’re even more critical personally. My spiritual life can be traced back to my relationship with my father, Melvin Maxwell. The reason I feel fulfilled every day can be attributed to my relationship with my wife, Margaret; she helps me enjoy our successes. And I must give credit for life itself to my relationships with others. If I hadn’t met cardiologist John Bright Cage, I woul...