Leadership Gold

Lessons I've Learned from a Lifetime of Leading

John C. Maxwell

• Publisher: HarperCollins Leadership
• Year: 2008
• eBook ISBN: 9781418571139
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Business Education
• Index: Business

Smart leaders learn from their own mistakes. Smarter leaders learn from other’s mistakes and their successes.

Bestselling author and leadership guru Dr. John C. Maxwell wants to help you become the smartest leader you can be by sharing Leadership Gold with you. After more than forty years of leading and teaching, Maxwell has mined the gold so you don't have to. Each gold nugget is contained in one of twenty-six chapters designed to be a six-month mentorship from the international leadership expert.

A leader among leaders, Maxwell promised himself early in his career that he wouldn't write this book until he was sixty. Now, the time is finally here.

In Leadership Gold, he shares valuable lessons such as:

• Don’t send your sucks to eagle school
• People quit people, not companies
• Influence should be loaned but never given
• When you get kicked in the rear, you know you’re out in front
• People will summarize your life in one sentence – pick it now

With his signature style, Maxwell comes alongside like a mentor, candidly taking you through what feels like a one-on-one leadership program.?Each chapter contains detailed application exercises and a “Mentoring Moment” for leaders who desire to mentor others using the book.

Leadership Gold offers the best of the best, the tried-and-true lessons that no one but Maxwell can share.

1
IF IT’S LONELY AT THE TOP, YOU’RE NOT DOING SOMETHING RIGHT

My father’s generation believed that leaders should never get too close to the people they lead.“Keep a distance” was a phrase I often heard. Good leaders were supposed to be a little above and apart from those they led. As a result, when I began my leadership journey, I made sure to keep some distance between me and my people. I tried to be close enough to lead them, but far enough away to not be influenced by them.

This balancing act immediately created a lot of inner conflict for me. Honestly, I liked being close to the people I led. Plus, I felt that one of my strengths was my ability to connect with people. Both of these factors caused me to fight the instruction I had received to keep a distance. And sure enough, within a few months of accepting my first leadership position, my wife,Margaret, and I began developing close friendships. We were enjoying our work and the people in the organization.

Like many leaders early in their career, I knew that I would not stay in this first job forever. It was a good experience, but I was soon ready for bigger challenges. After three years, I resigned to accept a position in Lancaster, Ohio. I’ll never forget the response of most people when they realized we were leaving: “How could you do this after all we have done together?”Many people took my departure personally. I could see they felt hurt. That really bothered me. Instantly, the words of older leaders rang in my ears: “Don’t get too close to your people.” As I left that assignment to take my next leadership position, I promised myself to keep people from getting too close to me.

THIS TIME IT’S PERSONAL

In my second position, for the first time in my leadership journey, I could employ staff to help me. One young man showed great promise, so I hired him and began pouring my life into him. I soon discovered that training and developing people was both a strength and a joy.

This staff member and I did everything together. One of the best ways to train others is to let them accompany you to observe what you do, give some training, and then let them make an attempt at doing it. That’s what we did. It was my first experience in mentoring.

I thought everything was going great. Then one day I found out that he had taken some sensitive information I had shared with him and violated my confidence by telling others about it. It not only hurt me as a leader, but it also hurt me personally. I felt betrayed. Needless to say, I let him go. And once again, the words of more experienced leaders rang in my ears: “Don’t get too close to your people.”

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Loneliness is not a positional issue; it is a personality issue.

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This time I had learned my lesson. I once again determined to keep space between me and everyone around me. I would hire staff to do their jobs. And I would do my job. And we would only get together at the annual Christmas party!

For six months I managed to maintain this professional separation. But then one day I realized that keeping everyone at a distance was a double-edged sword. The good news was that if I kept people at a distance, nobody would ever hurt me. But the bad news was that no one would ever be able to help me either. So at age twenty-five, I made a decision: As a leader, I would “walk slowly through the crowd.” I would take the time—and the risk—of getting close to people and letting them get close to me. I would vow to love people before trying to lead them. This choice would at times make me vulnerable. I would get hurt. Yet the close relationships would allow me to help them as well as be helped by them. That decision has changed my life and my leadership.

LONELINESS IS NOT A LEADERSHIP ISSUE

There’s a cartoon in which an executive is shown sitting forlornly behind a huge desk. Standing meekly on the other side of the desk is a man dressed in work clothes, who says, “If it’s any comfort to you, it’s lonely at the bottom too.” Being at the top doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. Neither does being at the bottom. I’ve met lonely people at the bottom, on the top, and in the middle. I now realize that loneliness is not a positional issue; it is a personality issue.

To many people, the leader’s image is that of an individual standing alone at the top of the mountain, looking down on his people. He’s separated, isolated, and lonely. Thus the saying “It’s lonely at the top.” But I would argue that the phrase was never made by a great leader. If you are leading others and you’re lonely, then you’re not doing it right. Think about it. If you’re all alone, that means nobody is following you. And if nobody is following you, you’re not really leading!

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Taking people to the top is what good leaders do.

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What kind of a leader would leave everyone behind and take the journey alone? A selfish one. Taking people to the top is what good leaders do. Lifting people to a new level is a requirement for effective leadership. That’s hard to do if you get too far from your people—because you can no longer sense their needs, know their dreams, or feel their heartbeat. Besides, if things aren’t getting better for people as a result of their leader’s efforts, then they need a different leader.

TRUTHS ABOUT THE TOP

Because this leadership issue has been so personal to me, I’ve given it a lot of thought over the years. Here are some things you need to know:

No One Ever Got to the Top Alone

Few leaders are successful unless a lot of people want them to be. No leaders are successful without a few people helping them. Sadly, as soon as some leaders arrive at the top, they spend their time trying to push others off the top. They play king of the hill because of their insecurity or competitiveness. That may work for a time, but it usually won’t last long. When your goal is to knock others down, you spend too much of your time and energy watching out for people who would do the same to you. Instead, why not give others a hand up and ask them to join you?

Making It to the Top Is Essential to Taking Others to the Top

There are a lot of people in the world who are willing to give advice on things they’ve never experienced. They are like bad travel agents: they sell you an expensive ticket and say, “I hope you enjoy the trip.” Then you never see them again. In contrast, good leaders are like tour guides. They know the territory because they’ve made the trip before, and they do what they can to make the trip enjoyable and successful for everybody.

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A leader’s credibility begins with personal success. It ends with helping others achieve personal success.

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A leader’s credibility begins with personal success. It ends with helping others achieve personal success. To gain credibility, you must consistently demonstrate three things:

1. Initiative: You have to get up to go up.

2. Sacrifice: You have to give up to go up.

3. Maturity: You have to grow up to go up.

If you show the way, people will want to follow you. The higher you go, the greater the number of people who will be willing to travel with you.

Taking People to the Top Is More Fulfilling Than Arriving Alone

A few years ago I had the privilege of speaking on the same stage as Jim Whittaker, the first American to climb Mount Everest. During lunch I asked him what had given him the most fulfillment as a mountain climber. His answer surprised me.

“I have helped more people get to the top of Mount Everest than any other person,” he replied. “Taking people to the top who could never get there without my assistance is my greatest accomplishment.”

Evidently this is a common way of thinking for great mountain guides. Years ago I saw an interview with a guide on 60 Minutes. People had died while attempting to climb Mount Everest, and a surviving guide was asked, “Would the guides have died if they were not taking others with them to the top?”

“No,” he answered, “but the purpose of the guide is to take people to the top.”

Then the interviewer asked, “Why do mountain climbers risk their lives to climb mountains?”

The guide responded, “It is obvious that you have never been to the top of the mountain.”

I remember thinking to myself that mountain guides and leaders have a lot in common. There is a big difference between a boss and a leader. A boss says,“Go.”A leader says,“Let’s go.” The purpose of leadership is to take others to the top. And when you take others who might not make it to the top otherwise, there’s no other feeling like it in the world. To those who have never had the experience, you can’t explain it. To those who have, you don’t need to.

Much of the Time Leaders Are Not at the Top

Leaders rarely remain stationary. They are constantly on the move. Sometimes they are going down the mountain to find new potential leaders. At other times they are trying to make the climb with a group of people. The best ones spend much of their time serving other leaders and lifting them up.

Jules Ormont said, “A great leader never sets himself above his followers except in carrying responsibilities.” Good leaders who remain connected with their people stoop—that’s the only way to reach down and pull others up. If you want to be the best leader you can be, don’t allow insecurity, pettiness, or jealousy to keep you from reaching out to others.

ADVICE TO LONELY LEADERS

If you find yourself too far from your people—either by accident or by design—then you need to change. True, there will be risks. You may hurt others or be hurt yourself. But if you want to be the most effective leader you can be, there is no viable alternative. Here’s how to get started:

1. Avoid Positional Thinking

Leadership is relational as much as it is positional. An individual who takes a relational approach to leadership will never be lonely. The time spent in building relationships creates friendships with others. Positional leaders, on the other hand, are often lonely. Every time they use their title and permission to “persuade” their people to do something, they create distance between themselves and others. They are essentially saying, “I’m up here; you’re down there. So do what I say.” That makes people feel small, alienates them, and drives a wedge between them and the leader. Good leaders don’t belittle people—they enlarge them.

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Leadership is relational as much as it is positional. An individual who takes a relational approach to leadership will never be lonely.

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Every year I invest time teaching leadership internationally. Positional leadership is a way of life in many developing countries. Leaders gather and protect power. They alone are allowed to be on top, and everyone else is expected to follow. Sadly, this practice keeps potential leaders from developing and creates loneliness for the one who leads.

If you are in a leadership position, do not rely on your title to convince people to follow you. Build relationships. Win people over. Do that and you will never be a lonely leader.

2. Realize the Downsides of Success and Failure

Success can be dangerous—and so can failure. Anytime you think of yourself as “a success,” you start to separate yourself from others you view as less successful. You start to think, I don’t need to see them, and you withdraw. Ironically, failure also leads to withdrawal, but for other reasons. If you think of yourself as “a failure,” you avoid others, thinking, I don’t want to see them. Both extremes in thinking can create an unhealthy separation from others.

3. Understand That You Are in the People Business

The best leaders know that leading people requires loving them! I’ve never met a good leader who didn’t care about people. Ineffective leaders have the wrong attitude, saying, “I love mankind. It’s the people I can’t stand.”But good leaders understand that people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. You must like people or you will never add value to them. And if you become indifferent to people, you may be only...

Table of contents

• COVER PAGE
• TITLE PAGE
• COPYRIGHT
• CONTENTS
• DEDICATION
• ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
• SEARCHING FOR GOLD
• 1. IF IT’S LONELY AT THE TOP, YOU’RE NOT DOING SOMETHING RIGHT
• 2. THE TOUGHEST PERSON TO LEAD IS ALWAYS YOURSELF
• 3. DEFINING MOMENTS DEFINE YOUR LEADERSHIP
• 4. WHEN YOU GET KICKED IN THE REAR, YOU KNOW YOU’RE OUT IN FRONT
• 5. NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE
• 6. THE BEST LEADERS ARE LISTENERS
• 7. GET IN THE ZONE AND STAY THERE
• 8. A LEADER’S FIRST RESPONSIBILITY IS TO DEFINE REALITY
• 9. TO SEE HOW THE LEADER IS DOING, LOOK AT THE PEOPLE
• 10. DON’T SEND YOUR DUCKS TO EAGLE SCHOOL
• 11. KEEP YOUR MIND ON THE MAIN THING
• 12. YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE IS NOT ASKING WHAT MISTAKE YOU’RE MAKING
• 13. DON’T MANAGE YOUR TIME— MANAGE YOUR LIFE
• 14. KEEP LEARNING TO KEEP LEADING
• 15. LEADERS DISTINGUISH THEMSELVES DURING TOUGH TIMES
• 16. PEOPLE QUIT PEOPLE, NOT COMPANIES
• 17. EXPERIENCE IS NOT THE BEST TEACHER
• 18. THE SECRET TO A GOOD MEETING IS THE MEETING BEFORE THE MEETING
• 19. BE A CONNECTOR, NOT JUST A CLIMBER
• 20. THE CHOICES YOU MAKE, MAKE YOU
• 21. INFLUENCE SHOULD BE LOANED BUT NEVER GIVEN
• 22. FOR EVERYTHING YOU GAIN, YOU GIVE UP SOMETHING
• 23. THOSE WHO START THE JOURNEY WITH YOU SELDOM FINISH WITH YOU
• 24. FEW LEADERS ARE SUCCESSFUL UNLESS A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT THEM TO BE
• 25. YOU ONLY GET ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS YOU ASK
• 26. PEOPLE WILL SUMMARIZE YOUR LIFE IN ONE SENTENCE—PICK IT NOW
• CONCLUSION
• NOTES