Gospel-Centered Counseling

How Christ Changes Lives

Robert W. Kellemen

• Publisher: Zondervan
• Year: 2014
• eBook ISBN: 9780310516149
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Religion

Everyone talks about the personal ministry of the Word, but how do we make one-another ministry truly biblical? Gospel-Centered Counseling equips readers to change lives with Christ's changeless truth. It does so by examining life's seven ultimate questions and then guiding readers on a journey that explores the biblical, gospel-centered narrative of:

 

The Word: "What is truth?" "Where can I find answers?"

The Trinity: "Who is God?" "Can I know Him personally?"

Creation: "Who am I?" "What makes people tick?"

Fall: "What went wrong?" "Why do we do the things we do?"

Redemption: "Can I change?" "How do people change?"

Glorification: "Where am I headed?" "How does our future destiny impact our present reality?"

Sanctification: "How can I help?" "How can I change lives?"

Bob Kellemen builds on the foundation of the written Word and provides a gospel-centered resource for understanding people, diagnosing problems, and prescribing biblically-based solutions.

Gospel-Centered Counseling is the first volume in The Equipping Christian Counselors Series, a comprehensive relational training curriculum for the local church that provides a model for equipping God's people to change lives with Christ's changeless truth. This two-volume series weaves together comprehensive biblical insight with compassionate Christian engagement.

CHAPTER 1

Mining the Richness of God’s Word: God’s Treasures of Wisdom

Ashley and her husband, Nate, met with me at church the day after their twin sons’ eleventh birthday. With tears streaming down her face, Ashley shared that twenty-five years earlier, not long after her eleventh birthday, a relative had begun sexually abusing her.

Those who knew Ashley would have been shocked. She grew up in a Christian home, was active at church as an adult, served as a leader in the women’s ministry, and was always “pleasant.”

As Ashley described herself, “Yes, I’m the good girl from the good home. The good mom; the good wife. But nobody knows the ugliness I feel inside. Nobody knows how I’ve pretended and denied all these years. I just can’t keep faking it any longer. I’m a mess. Depressed to the point that at times I’ve thought about suicide. Always fearful and anxious — terrified I’ll displease someone. Terrified someone will find out what an empty but evil thing I am . . .”

As Ashley’s voice trailed off, Nate asked, “Pastor Bob, can you help? Does the Bible offer any hope for my wife?”¹

How you or I respond to Ashley’s soul struggles and to Nate’s life questions depends on how we answer several other foundational questions:

Truth Questions: “Where do we find wisdom for life in a broken world? How do we view God’s Word for the personal ministry of the Word?”

Life Questions: “What does it look like to live a whole life in a broken world? What is the purpose of life?”

Counseling Questions: “What is the ultimate focus of wise and loving counseling in a broken world — what does help look like? How can gospel-centered counselors minister to saints who are facing suffering and fighting besetting sins — what does hope look like?”

I’ve written this chapter and this book to address these vital questions. In particular, in chapters 1 – 2, we’re seeking to ask and answer the question, “Where do we find wisdom for life in a broken world?”

You Can Handle the Truth

When dear folks like Ashley and Nate courageously share their raw concerns with people in the church, I’ve noticed that we tend to respond in one of three typical ways. First, some refer. The stereotype goes something like this: “I’m a committed Christian. I want to help you with your struggle. However, we have to understand that while the Bible provides insight for our ‘spiritual lives,’ God never intended that we use his Word to address ‘emotional and mental’ struggles. For relevant help for those issues, we need outside experts.” While this perspective shows some confidence in God, there is a corresponding conviction that for “non-spiritual issues,” God’s Word is not the most appropriate resource.

Second, some follow a sprinkling approach. The stereotype goes something like this: “I’m a committed Christian. I want to help you with your struggles. To the insights I’ve gleaned from the world’s wisdom about your issue, I’ll add Christian concern, prayer, and some occasional biblical principles where they seem pertinent.” There’s confidence in God’s Word as important in helping hurting people, but its application lacks an understanding of the vital, comprehensive, and robust nature of God’s Word for life in a broken world.

Third, some follow the concordance approach. The stereotype goes something like this: “I’m a committed Christian. I want to help you with your struggle. You have a problem. I’ll use my Bible concordance to find God’s answer.” Some have called this the “one-problem, one-verse, one-solution” approach. There’s confidence in the Bible, but its application lacks an understanding of the complexity of life and the rich nature of God’s Word.

In each case, I have purposefully prefaced my comments with “the stereotype . . .” Life and counseling are infinitely more complex than three paragraphs can encapsulate. Further, it is not my intent to promote an “us against them” or a “good guys/bad guys” mind-set. Rather than accuse or antagonize, I hope to invite, encourage, and equip.

Instead of just saying, “Don’t do it that way,” I desire to increase our confidence in God’s Word for life in a broken world and increase our competence in applying Christ’s changeless truth to change lives. I believe we follow other approaches — like the refer, sprinkle, and concordance approaches — and turn to other sources because:

No one has equipped us to understand the richness and robustness of God’s sufficient Word for life in a broken world — helping us to develop confidence in how we view the Bible for real life.

No one has equipped us to apply God’s authoritative truth to life relevantly and relationally — helping us to develop the competence to use God’s words for real-life issues.

I want to equip you to view and use the Bible in a “fourth way” — the gospel narrative way. If we are to view the Bible accurately and use the Bible competently, then we must understand the Bible’s story the way God tells it. In chapters 1 – 2, we’ll listen in as God tells his story and ours as the drama of redemption. It is a gospel narrative of relationship.

The Bible presents a grand narrative in which God is both the Author and the Hero, with the story climaxing in Christ. God begins by telling the story of relationship initiated in Genesis 1 – 2 and relationship rejected in Genesis 3. After those first three chapters, the rest of the Bible tells the story of God wooing us back to his holy and loving arms, all the while fighting the Evil One who wants to seduce us away from our first love.

Ever since Genesis 3, life is a battle for our love — the ageless question of who captures our heart — Christ or Satan. In Soul Physicians, I encapsulated all of life as a war and a wedding.² Others have described it picturesquely as slay the dragon; marry the damsel. The Bible calls it “the gospel.”

Our counseling is sterile and dead if we see the Bible as an academic textbook. But if we view and use the Bible as the story — the gospel-centered drama — of the battle to win our hearts, then our biblical counseling ministry comes alive.

To help you to grow in confidence and competence, to help you to handle God’s Word skillfully and artfully, I’ll follow Paul’s approach in Colossians. While he did not hesitate to caution people against being taken captive by false approaches (Col. 2:4, 8), and while he did not hesitate to lovingly confront those who followed false approaches (Col. 2:16 – 23), Paul emphasized the incomparable supremacy of Christ and the unparalleled sufficiency of Christianity. Like Paul, we’ll focus on stirring up our confidence in Christ’s gospel of grace (Col. 1:3 – 23), Christ-dependent ministry (Col. 1:24 – 2:2), Christ’s wisdom (Col. 2:3 – 23), our salvation and sanctification in Christ (Col. 3:1 – 11), and the body of Christ ministering the Word to one another (Col. 3:12 – 4:18). When people asked Paul, “Where do we turn for life wisdom among many fiercely competitive worldview options?” he responded with an infinite answer in one word: “Christ!”

Looking for Answers in All the Wrong Places

As Paul wrote to the believers in Colosse, their situation mirrored ours. Like us, they were saints — “holy and faithful brothers in Christ” (Col. 1:2). They were sons and daughters of “God our Father” (Col. 1:2). Though forgiven and welcomed home by God through Christ (Col. 1:13, 22), they were facing suffering — condemnation from Satan (Col. 1:22), judgment by others (Col. 2:16), interpersonal grievances and struggles (Col. 3:13, 15), and family discord (Col. 3:19 – 21). They also battled the same temptations to sin that we face — sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, anger, rage, malice, slander, and lying (Col. 3:5 – 9). And just like us, many voices were clamoring for their attention, claiming to have cornered the market on the secret steps to wholeness (Col. 2:4, 8). I imagine Paul receiving a letter something like this from one of these saints, sons, sufferers, and sinners . . .

Dear Brother Paul,

I’m confused. No. Not about my salvation. I know I’m saved. I’ve received Christ’s grace by faith. What I’m confused about is life. Not only mine, but the Christians around me. I look around and see saints who struggle just like sinners. Our relationships are not just messy, but often a mess. Our homes are sometimes harsh and cold places. At times we seem to handle suffering little differently than those who do not know Christ. I see Christians who have no sense of who they are in Christ. They seem to sway between self-hatred and self-sufficiency.

What gives? What is the gospel sufficient for? Heaven only? If grace is so sufficient, then why do we seem to be so ineffectual in our lives and relationships?

But here’s where I really get confused. It seems like some folks feel as if the church doesn’t have wisdom for real life, yet the world sure claims it does! Every time I turn around, I hear about some new answer, some new approach to life, some new philosophy of life claiming to tell me what life is all about, how to live the good life, and how to make sense of my messed-up life.

One day it’s a group alleging to have some special corner on the truth, some secret success sauce that they’ve been initiated into that I must learn. The next day it’s another group saying I have to work harder, follow all their rules and regulations. The third day it’s the philosopher types with all their fine-sounding arguments about emotions, relationships, and right thinking.

While they all contradict each other, they all have one message in common. They all seem to be saying that my Christianity is not enough. They all demand that I mix Christ’s wisdom for living with their wisdom for living. It’s like I can keep my Christianity, but I have to add their secrets. I need Christianity plus their new way of thinking. I need Christianity plus their new way of living. I’m supposed to use my Christianity and plug in their steps.

So, Brother Paul, is Christianity all I need or what? If Christ is sufficient, do I really need something more? And if the gospel is sufficient not only for eternal life but for daily life now, then why doesn’t it seem sufficient to me and the rest of us? I know you’re busy, but if you could find time to reply, I sure would appreciate it.

Brother Theophilus

God’s Word: Relational and Relevant

Though the letter is imaginary, it captures the real and raw life situation that motivated Paul to craft the letter that we know as Colossians. Using our imaginations again, perhaps we picture Paul, in response to this letter, stoically pondering his response, as if this is an academic exercise. Nothing could be farther from the truth as Paul himself describes it. In his desire to care for their souls, Paul is struggling to the point of weariness, laboring to the point of exhaustion, and agonizing like an athlete wrestling in the Olympics. The whole time he’s clinging to Christ’s supernatural power working mightily within him (Col. 1:29 – 2:1). Paul models for us counseling that is passionate and compassionate, other centered and Christ dependent.

Paul’s mission in this life-and-death contest is to relate gospel truth to the Colossians’ relationship: with God — that they would be mature in Christ, with one another — that they would be united in love, and with themselves — that they would be encouraged in heart (Col. 1:28; 2:2). Paul models counseling that sees God’s Word as relational and relevant to life in our broken world.

God’s Word: Rich and Robust

Paul also models counseling that is gospel centered and Christ focused. Instead of allowing the pressure to provide a quick answer to drive him to simplistic solutions, Paul goes “big picture” by focusing on t...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Foreword
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction: Changing Lives With Christ’s Changeless Gospel Truth
• 1. Mining the Richness of God’s Word: God’s Treasures of Wisdom
• 2. Discovering Wisdom for Life In a Broken World: Our Treasure Hunt for Wisdom
• 3. Knowing the Creator of the Soul: Our Great Soul Physician
• 4. Recognizing the Most Important Fact About Us: Our View of God
• 5. Engaging the Battle for Our Soul: Our Spiritual Warfare In Spiritual Friendship
• 6. Examining the Spiritual Anatomy of the Soul: Our View of People
• 7. Journeying Into the Heart: Our Role As Soul Physicians and Biblical Cardiologists
• 8. Exploring Serpentine Seduction to Sin: Our Spiritual Adultery
• 9. Diagnosing the Fallen Condition of the Soul: Our Fallen Heart
• 10. Applying the Gospel to Suffering: Our Gospel-Centered Self-Counsel
• 11. Prescribing God’s Cure for the Soul: Part 1 — Our New Nurture
• 12. Prescribing God’s Cure for the Soul: Part 2 — Our New Nature
• 13. Finding a Place to Belong and Become: Our Growth In Grace Is a Community Journey
• 14. Remembering the Future: Our Eternal Perspective
• 15. Dispensing Grace: Our Gospel-Centered Growth In Grace
• 16. Putting Off and Putting On: God’s Heart Change Model of Progressive Sanctification
• Conclusion: Living Life Empowered By Christ’s Changeless Gospel Truth
• Notes
• Bibliography of Works Cited and Consulted
• Scripture Index