VANITY FAIR

WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY

As the manager of the Performance sits before the curtain on the boards and looks into the Fair, a feeling of profound melancholy comes over him in his survey of the bustling place. There is a great quantity of eating and drinking, making love and jilting, laughing and the contrary, smoking, cheating, fighting, dancing and fiddling; there are bullies pushing about, bucks ogling the women, knaves picking pockets, policemen on the look-out, quacks (OTHER quacks, plague take them!) bawling in front of their booths, and yokels looking up at the tinselled dancers and poor old rouged tumblers, while the light-fingered folk are operating upon their pockets behind. Yes, this is VANITY FAIR; not a moral place certainly; nor a merry one, though very noisy. Look at the faces of the actors and buffoons when they come off from their business; and Tom Fool washing the paint off his cheeks before he sits down to dinner with his wife and the little Jack Puddings behind the canvas. The curtain will be up presently, and he will be turning over head and heels, and crying, "How are you?"

Table of contents

• BEFORE THE CURTAIN
• CHAPTER I CHISWICK MALL
• CHAPTER II IN WHICH MISS SHARP AND MISS SEDLEY PREPARE TO OPEN THE CAMPAIGN
• CHAPTER III REBECCA IS IN PRESENCE OF THE ENEMY
• CHAPTER IV THE GREEN SILK PURSE
• CHAPTER V DOBBIN OF OURS
• CHAPTER VI VAUXHALL
• CHAPTER VII CRAWLEY OF QUEEN'S CRAWLEY
• CHAPTER VIII PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
• CHAPTER IX FAMILY PORTRAITS
• CHAPTER X MISS SHARP BEGINS TO MAKE FRIENDS
• CHAPTER XI ARCADIAN SIMPLICITY
• CHAPTER XII QUITE A SENTIMENTAL CHAPTER
• CHAPTER XIII SENTIMENTAL AND OTHERWISE
• CHAPTER XIV MISS CRAWLEY AT HOME
• CHAPTER XV IN WHICH REBECCA'S HUSBAND APPEARS FOR A SHORT TIME
• CHAPTER XVI THE LETTER ON THE PINCUSHION
• CHAPTER XVII HOW CAPTAIN DOBBIN BOUGHT A PIANO
• CHAPTER XVIII WHO PLAYED ON THE PIANO CAPTAIN DOBBIN BOUGHT
• CHAPTER XIX MISS CRAWLEY AT NURSE
• CHAPTER XX IN WHICH CAPTAIN DOBBIN ACTS AS THE MESSENGER OF HYMEN
• CHAPTER XXI A QUARREL ABOUT AN HEIRESS
• CHAPTER XXII A MARRIAGE AND PART OF A HONEYMOON
• CHAPTER XXIII CAPTAIN DOBBIN PROCEEDS ON HIS CANVASS
• CHAPTER XXIV IN WHICH MR. OSBORNE TAKES DOWN THE FAMILY BIBLE
• CHAPTER XXV IN WHICH ALL THE PRINCIPAL PERSONAGES THINK FIT TO LEAVE BRIGHTON
• CHAPTER XXVI BETWEEN LONDON AND CHATHAM
• CHAPTER XXVII IN WHICH AMELIA JOINS HER REGIMENT
• CHAPTER XXVIII IN WHICH AMELIA INVADES THE LOW COUNTRIES
• CHAPTER XXIX BRUSSELS
• CHAPTER XXX “THE GIRL I LEFT BEHIND ME”
• CHAPTER XXXI IN WHICH JOS SEDLEY TAKES CARE OF HIS SISTER
• CHAPTER XXXII IN WHICH JOS TAKES FLIGHT, AND THE WAR IS BROUGHT TO A CLOSE
• CHAPTER XXXIII IN WHICH MISS CRAWLEY'S RELATIONS ARE VERY ANXIOUS ABOUT HER
• CHAPTER XXXIV JAMES CRAWLEY'S PIPE IS PUT OUT
• CHAPTER XXXV WIDOW AND MOTHER
• CHAPTER XXXVI HOW TO LIVE WELL ON NOTHING A YEAR
• CHAPTER XXXVII THE SUBJECT CONTINUED
• CHAPTER XXXVIII A FAMILY IN A VERY SMALL WAY
• CHAPTER XXXIX A CYNICAL CHAPTER
• CHAPTER XL IN WHICH BECKY IS RECOGNIZED BY THE FAMILY
• CHAPTER XLI IN WHICH BECKY REVISITS THE HALLS OF HER ANCESTORS
• CHAPTER XLII WHICH TREATS OF THE OSBORNE FAMILY
• CHAPTER XLIII IN WHICH THE READER HAS TO DOUBLE THE CAPE
• CHAPTER XLIV A ROUND-ABOUT CHAPTER BETWEEN LONDON AND HAMPSHIRE
• CHAPTER XLV BETWEEN HAMPSHIRE AND LONDON
• CHAPTER XLVI STRUGGLES AND TRIALS
• CHAPTER XLVII GAUNT HOUSE
• CHAPTER XLVIII IN WHICH THE READER IS INTRODUCED TO THE VERY BEST OF COMPANY
• CHAPTER XLIX IN WHICH WE ENJOY THREE COURSES AND A DESSERT
• CHAPTER L CONTAINS A VULGAR INCIDENT
• CHAPTER LI IN WHICH A CHARADE IS ACTED WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT PUZZLE THE READER
• CHAPTER LII IN WHICH LORD STEYNE SHOWS HIMSELF IN A MOST AMIABLE LIGHT
• CHAPTER LIII A RESCUE AND A CATASTROPHE
• CHAPTER LIV SUNDAY AFTER THE BATTLE
• CHAPTER LV IN WHICH THE SAME SUBJECT IS PURSUED
• CHAPTER LVI GEORGY IS MADE A GENTLEMAN
• CHAPTER LVII EOTHEN
• CHAPTER LVIII OUR FRIEND THE MAJOR
• CHAPTER LIX THE OLD PIANO
• CHAPTER LX RETURNS TO THE GENTEEL WORLD
• CHAPTER LXI IN WHICH TWO LIGHTS ARE PUT OUT
• CHAPTER LXII AM RHEIN
• CHAPTER LXIII IN WHICH WE MEET AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE
• CHAPTER LXIV A VAGABOND CHAPTER
• CHAPTER LXV FULL OF BUSINESS AND PLEASURE
• CHAPTER LXVI AMANTIUM IRAE
• CHAPTER LXVII WHICH CONTAINS BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS