Chapter 1
Rough and Tumble
We have the most wonderful job in the world. We find people in various stages of sleep. And then we get to tap them on the shoulder and be with them as they wake up to the magnificence of life.
Syd Banks
In a short, sharp opening we introduce reality, remind you why youâre exhausted and explain why weâre not going to give you anything to do. We attempt to win you over by explaining who we are and why you should stick with us when, quite clearly, you have a zillion other things you could be doing with your time. We mention goose-liver pâtĂŠ, the hokey-cokey and cricket, none of which are likely to be your thing, but weâre confident you will get the wider points. We hint at one of the universal laws of humanity and, while we canât promise you more sex on a school night, we dare to hint at the mere possibility that this book could be the solution. So, for the moment, we urge you to forget about âOfsted outstandingâ and concentrate on âmyself outstandingâ. Away we go âŚ
Hands up if youâre in a state of near-permanent exhaustion. Do you attend too many twilight meetings and have too much marking? And, honestly, although you adore most of the children, are there a few that you donât really like? Do your non-teaching friends think your job is easy? Do they drone on and on about a 3.30 p.m. finish and fourteen weeksâ holiday? Or, if they arenât saying it to your face, are you imagining theyâre saying it behind your back? Do you know how many weeks and days there are until the next half-term? Is your favourite thing to be tucked up in bed at 9 p.m.? Asleep. Hands up if you have forgotten the last time you had sex on a school night.
Thought so! Welcome to the world of the primary teacher, inhabited by six or seven week bursts of full-on effort, interspersed with periods of slightly less full-on effort called âholidaysâ.
The fact that youâre reading this sentence is a fairly good indicator that youâre already a primary teacher and youâve already clocked that itâs physically and emotionally exhausting. In fact, let us rephrase that. If youâre doing your job properly weâd expect you to be exhausted. Youâre exhausted because teaching is full-on. And itâs full-on because you care. And brilliant primary teachers genuinely care, with a passion, because they understand the importance of what they do. Brilliant teachers therefore give their all in the relentless quest to educate and inspire. Sadly, there are a few in our great profession who care slightly less. They do their best to cover the syllabus but itâs all a bit mechanical. Theyâre ordinary teachers. Their classrooms experience less magic, less imagination and the tap of inspiration is dripping instead of gushing.
Furthermore, we have more than a sneaking suspicion that itâs only the very best teachers who will be reading this book. Thatâs not a sycophantic nod to our readers, itâs a genuine likelihood. We believe itâs only the very best teachers who are genuinely interested in personal development. Every teacher gets force-fed a smidgeon of personal development, foie gras style, via INSET days. But to do it in your own time, under your own steam? What teacher in their right mind would put âreading a book about teachingâ on their to-do list? Theyâd have to be one of two things: complete nutters or genuinely interested in being world class.
So, which camp do you fall into because, ideally, weâd like you to have a foot in both. We donât want you to be absolutely barking but being a teeny bit bonkers is an important attribute for a primary teacher (more on that later). And you have to want to be brilliant. What we mean by this is that we canât want it for you. When you started teaching you will have been given some sort of job description which you filed away and never looked at again. In fact, itâs probably a good thing that you never looked at it because itâs a big long list of just about everything. Now, we donât want you throwing this book away in disgust (at least give it till halfway) but the next two very short sentences might seem a little irritating.
We want you to go above your job description. And to go above it with gusto and enthusiasm.
No, no, hang on! Donât get angry. Donât swear, effing and blinding that âI already do more than I shouldâ or âI already work umpteen hours an effing dayâ. We know you do! If we were going to sum this book up, weâd say itâs much less about your to-do list. So, while we do want to challenge some of your current customs and practices, and maybe get you to do things a little differently, the emphasis is on what we call your to-be list. And we promise, as a primary school teacher, your to-be list is everything. Your to-be list dares you to point the finger back at yourself and ask, who am I being while Iâm doing those things on my list? Am I being world class? Am I full of life, joy and unbridled enthusiasm, or am I being ground down by parentsâ evenings or having to squeeze more performance out of the pupil premium kids?
The refreshing reality is that weâre not going to give you any more stuff to do. Phew! You will be delighted to know that weâre on your side â we reckon youâre already doing more than your fair share. The painful truth is that weâre going to challenge who youâre being. If you let that sink in for a moment you will realise itâs a âyikesâ moment. Because this doesnât merely challenge your working hours but your home life too. We think the crazy world of teaching has converted too many of us from âhuman beingsâ into âhuman doingsâ, where your burgeoning to-do list has become so overwhelming that you might have forgotten who you are. In a spooky conspiracy of the laws of the universe, when youâre being your best self a lot of your to-do list just sorts itself out.
But (whisper this carefully because if you say it out loud it might scare you) being your best self is a lot bigger than your career. It is also the key to living a brilliant life.
Weâve distilled each chapter down to a few top tips, but weâre not going to provide you with endless resources, lesson ideas or even an accompanying CD-ROM to fulfil your digital needs. This book is not even very long (weâve designed it to be read in one half-term sitting) and it doesnât beat around the bush in an attempt to make subtle points. And while weâre on the subject of what this book isnât about, itâs not going to tell you how to be an Ofsted graded âoutstandingâ teacher or give you a list of criteria for you to tick off until you reach that immortal state. Itâs not even going to mention the word âoutstandingâ any more because thatâs a label that can be so easily removed during a single twenty minute observation (actually, we do say it a few more times but hope nobody notices).
If being a brilliant primary teacher was about to-do lists and checking off criteria, weâd have a generation of generic super-teachers who were transforming children into insanely well-rounded individuals capable of giving any established genius a run for their money. Weâd need no one else to enter the profession (at least for a few decades) and there would be no need for training in education. A simple A4 chart (which, in true teacher complication style, would be enlarged to A3 for easier use of a highlighter pen) would reveal all the tricks of the trade. Problem solved. Ta daa! Brilliant primary teachers everywhere and no one moaning. Yeah right!
Weâre guessing youâre sick to death of change and that being asked to âthink outside the boxâ causes you to grind your teeth. So, in a bizarre twist of retro thinking, weâre going to challenge you to think âinside the boxâ by providing some anecdotes and snippets that we hope will make our points in a slightly different way. And guess what? Theyâre in boxes. We hope these thinking activities might cause some sort of reaction â a chuckle, contemplation or maybe even a groan. Most are very short but hereâs your first one and itâs of the slightly longer variety.
It was past midnight and the man was on his hands and knees, searching frantically beneath a streetlight. A couple sauntered around the corner. âWhat are you looking for?â asked the woman, getting down and helping with the search.
âIâve dropped my keys,â said the man.
âWhere did you drop them?â asked the woman.
âIn the long grass in the dark, about half a mile away,â replied the man, feeling with one hand and pointing with the other.
âThen why are you looking here?â asked the woman.
âBecause the lightâs better,â replied the man.
An adaptation of an ancient Sufi story that highlights the common problem of looking for solutions in easy places but not necessarily the right places
So what is this book actually going to do?
With regards to the story above, we want to point you to the right places. If we had a strapline it might be something like âstop trying to be perfect and start being remarkableâ. The Art of Being a Brilliant Primary Teacher will remind you of what a brilliant and capable teacher you already are when youâve nailed your to-be list. Yes, you! Jab a finger into your chest. We mean you at your best â you are awesome! Miraculous, in fact. Sometimes! And then Lucas kicks off, or a snotty parent gives you some grief, or Chardonnay falls asleep in maths and youâre blown off course. This book is going to remind you how to have more and more of those good days. Itâs grounded in pure realism, often provocative, sometimes reassuring and itâs self-challenging in that, when combined with a little bravery and risk taking, it will refresh your teaching until retirement day.
So, here is something refreshing right away: brilliant teaching isnât about meeting standards, nailing observations and marking every single piece of work on the day itâs produced. Itâs about moulding what is already there into something unapologetically brilliant. Grow, challenge and inspire your way to being a brilliant primary teacher â grab this book every now and then as a reference point and push yourself in the right direction. In fact, hurl yourself in that direction because, not only will you love...