Born for Love

Why Empathy Is Essential--and Endangered

Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz

• Publisher: Mariner Books
• Year: 2010
• Print ISBN: 9780061656798
• eBook ISBN: 9780061987670
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

The groundbreaking exploration of the power of empathy by renowned child-psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry, co-author, with Oprah Winfrey, of What Happened to You?

Born for Love reveals how and why the brain learns to bond with others—and is a stirring call to protect our children from new threats to their capacity to love.

“Empathy, and the ties that bind people into relationships, are key elements of happiness. Born for Love is truly fascinating.” — Gretchen Rubin,  author of The Happiness Project

From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection, a bond made possible by empathy—the ability to love and to share the feelings of others.

In this provocative book, psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry and award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz interweave research and stories from Perry's practice with cutting-edge scientific studies and historical examples to explain how empathy develops, why it is essential for our development into healthy adults, and how to raise kids with empathy while navigating threats from technological change and other forces in the modern world.

Perry and Szalavitz show that compassion underlies the qualities that make society work—trust, altruism, collaboration, love, charity—and how difficulties related to empathy are key factors in social problems such as war, crime, racism, and mental illness. Even physical health, from infectious diseases to heart attacks, is deeply affected by our human connections to one another.

As Born for Love reveals, recent changes in technology, child-rearing practices, education, and lifestyles are starting to rob children of necessary human contact and deep relationships—the essential foundation for empathy and a caring, healthy society. Sounding an important warning bell, Born for Love offers practical ideas for combating the negative influences of modern life and fostering positive social change to benefit us all.

SEARCHABLE TERMS

Note: Entries in this index, carried over verbatim from the print edition of this title, are unlikely to correspond to the pagination of any given e-book reader. However, entries in this index, and other terms, may be easily located by using the search feature of your e-book reader.

abandonment, 64–65

Eugenia’s story, 45–58, 65–71, 289

Trinity’s story, 145–62

abortion, 53

abuse, 114–16, 178

Danny’s story, 97–98

physical health and, 162–68

Trinity’s story, 145–62

Academy Awards, 232, 244

accents, and power differentials, 244

adaptations, 11–12, 104, 114, 151, 216, 256

addictions (addicts), 29, 133, 135–36, 304.

See also drinking; drug use

adoption, Eugenia’s story, 45–58, 65–71, 90–91, 289

adrenaline, 15, 185. See also fight-or-flight

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)

Study, 162–68, 252

age segregation, 142, 316, 333–34

aggressive children, and violent media, 220–30

alarm state, 32, 69, 151

alcohol (alcoholism), 135–36, 148, 165, 188–89

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF), 234–36

altruism, 104–11, 114, 175–80

Alyson, 170–73, 180–81, 184–85, 188, 190–92

Amanda, 122–27, 128, 142–43

American dream, 278–79

Amy, 120–21, 124, 143

Anda, Robert, 164

Angela, 27–29, 35–36, 38, 41–42, 289

anger management therapies, 230

animal studies, 36, 54–55, 59–63, 85–86, 108, 129–34, 176–78, 247–52, 257–58

anterior cingulate cortex, 186

antidepressants, 256, 257–58

antisocial behaviors, 112–14, 152, 189

antisocial personality disorder, 5, 122

anxiety, 65, 75, 130, 206

“aping,” 12, 16–17

arched-back nursing, 129–31

arousal continuum, 198–99, 237, 244, 317, 338–39, 340

Asch, Solomon, 182, 185–86

Asperger’s syndrome, 72–74, 81–83, 94

Athenians, ancient, child-rearing beliefs of, 117–18

atherosclerosis, 253–54

athletes, special privileges of, 138, 139, 141–42, 317

attachment, 47–51, 64–66, 127, 129

attachments, disrupted, 129–37

Eugenia’s story, 45–58, 65–71, 130, 289

genes and the brain and body, 129–34

Ryan’s story, 120–28, 135–40, 143–44

auditory processing disorder, 68, 90–91

autism (autism spectrum conditions), 72–95

early neglect compared with, 70

“empathic accuracy” and, 82–84

gene tic risk factors, 78–79

intense world theory of, 85–91, 94–95

Sam’s story, 72–79, 81–84, 91–92, 94, 289

technologies for assisting, 75–77, 92–94

theory of mind and, 80–83, 92–93

autonomic nervous system, 38, 75–78

baboons, 247–52

Baby Einstein, 220

baby videos, 220

bacteria, 13

Baron-Cohen, Simon, 92–93, 94

bedtime, Jeremy’s story, 42

binge drinking, 189

binge eating, 162, 168

biology. See brain, the; stress response (stress response system)

birthmarks, 42–44, 64–65, 328–29

Jeremy’s story, 27–29, 33–36, 40–42, 289

Blake, Paul M., 143

blood pressure, 40–41, 69, 75

high, 39, 165–66, 167, 253–54

Bloods (gang), 194–95, 196–97, 201–2

Bobby, 56–58

body language, 17, 88–89

bonding, 47–51, 64–66, 127, 129

of prairie voles, 59–63

bonding social capital, 265–66, 297

boot camp, 226

borderline personality disorder (BPD), 82–83

Bowlby, John, 51

Bowling Alone (Putnam), 228–29

Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, The...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Dedication
• Epigraph
• Contents
• Authors’ Note
• Introduction
• One
• Two
• Three
• Four
• Five
• Six
• Seven
• Eight
• Nine
• Ten
• Eleven
• Twelve
• Thirteen
• Epilogue
• Acknowledgments
• Appendix
• Notes
• Searchable Terms
• About the Authors
• Other Books by Maia Szalavitz and Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D.
• Copyright
• About the Publisher